Paris Hilton, you just blew our collective mind.
For so long we’ve dismissed you as a vapid heiress with a sex tape. You proved us wrong today with this witty rebuttal to John McCain’s anti-Obama celebrity ad, which featured you. This video not only helps you get some sweet revenge on McCain, whom you refer to as the “wrinkly white-haired guy,” but you also offer an intriguing, sensible energy compromise. Very timely!
Well done, Ms. Hilton. Well done.
emb
Surely the end of times is upon us, for behold: The great Whore of Babylon spoke–and made some sense, in a way, and sorta made me giggle. I’m deeply ashamed of myself, but kinda secretly pleased with the li’l bitch.
(Please note that the phrase “l’il bitch” as appears above was used both in context with the aforementioned Ms Hilton’s monologue (in a popular, vernacular manner) and in the kindly and affectionate way that only an old queen like myself can deliver it. Thank you, and please don’t rip my throat out.)
retrofit71
What’s up with the blatant Conde Naste plug?
banshiii
ok, i laughed.
todd
Well….color me vapid and superficial, but that was actually kind of cute…and witty! Whoda thunk it??
crazylove
Tell it bitch. Yeah, it was good.
Arron
I hated her…up until this movie.
Damn right.
Arron
That was supposed to say “moment” instead of “movie”, but in the context, it sort of works.
Loves it.
Kid A
If even Paris Hilton is making fun of you, things are no good.
Bitch Republic
Y’all give Paris way too much credit. She didn’t write any of the dialogue for this video and she probably doesn’t even know what half of what she said meant.
The Queerty take was bullshit. Her energy compromise is not a good idea. Limited oil drilling isn’t going to tide us over until new green technologies start to provide jobs. As many have pointed out, oil drilling on our coasts will not start to produce oil for about 10 years. Also, even if the oil drilling was not limited but rapacious, it would only provide a tiny drop in the bucket of our oil consumption. Another problem is that we need to not just get oil locally, we need to stop using fossil fuels altogether. New green tech jobs would produce results before then. There should be no drilling on our coasts whatsoever.
http://www.BitchRepublic.net
crazylove
So, wow, she didn’t write her own speech? No kdding? We didn’t know that. You are brilliant.
NICNYC
not a big fan of paris… but this vid has won me over. her response to the mccain ad is both witty and smart. that’s hot.
Rsquared
She’s a gay icon in the making, bitches.
mcQ
I would like, totally vote for her based on her energy policy alone…
mark
Paris,
thanks for Spankin’ the Mac
you did a beautiful job on the video, who knew you had hidden talents.
mark
Yo Britney, it’s your turn
parisinla
LOL @ mark.
This was actualy good. except she probably had a writer. I wish she would actualy buy some air time on the major markets.
CitizenGeek
I never hated Paris Hilton (in fact, I quite like her!) so this video merely reinforces my pre-existing positive opinion of her.
Tex...
She done good…and bitch republic…lighten up!
bobito
she has every right to bitch slap Grampy. But they oil companies already have limited off-shore drilling rights, which they are not utilizing. Now they want access to the restricted areas, which they would utilize, apparently so that Americans would develop a placebo effect sense that the oil crisis was improving.
If we were to assume that the oil collected from these restricted areas would be sold to US consumers (a mighty big assumption, since only a miniscule amount of American oil is consumed over here), the change it would make would be miniscule.
Still and all, there was something clever about the way she managed to recite all her text without flubbing a single word – that makes me wonder if she wouldn’t actually be a more capable President than the one we currently have. Damn.
Woof
The guy that wrote “Step Brothers” along with Will Farrell and John C Rilley run that site. It was classic bitches!
villager
whether she wrote it or not, it’s still a shot at old man wrinkle nuts. i’ll take it!
Mike in MO
She didn’t write any of the dialogue for this video and she probably doesn’t even know what half of what she said meant.
Really? No way! Next you’re going to tell me there is no Santa Clause!
PABobby
Trust…Paris Hilton is not the little, naive person she plays. I’m sure she is quite smart and created the persona that we see to market herself. Think about it…she’s a household name and making lots of money on her own “talents”. Dumb? Naive? I think not…
hells kitchen guy
I liked it. That scares me.
bobito
Dear, sweet, naive PABobby – it’s easy to become a household name and make lots of money ‘on your own talents’ when you are born into a billionaire family. Look at the president of the United States.
Jack E. Jett
My favorite line is…”that old white haired dude”.
McCain is fucking retarded and is the last person who should be questioning the intelligence of others. While Spears and Hilton may not be brilliant, they have to be fairly smart to get to the point that are.
Alan down in Florida
She may actually be a better actress than we give her credit for – she pulled off a mighty big mouthful of fairly intricate dialogue and made it sound like she knew what she was talking about. U Go girl!
Ray
god i love her
Len
Bitch Republic, she didn’t write her own speech???
The next the you’re going to tell me is that politicians don’t write their own speeches . . . !
ilnazhad
It will take about five to ten years for the effects of offshore drilling to really show. (McCain’s adviser even stated this numerous times.) So we cannot use “offshore drilling carries us until the new technologies kick in.†Also, offshore drilling can only produce approximately one percent of the oil America will need. So, all the way in 2015 we can look forward to cheaper gas prices. Oh, right. Gas will only be a few cents cheaper. If this plan makes gas cheaper AT ALL. One percent is as insignificant as it seems when it comes to the States’ projected oil demand.
Yeah, so, a really “sensible” plan. Jeez.
No 4
THIS WAS COMPLETELY STUPID AND JUST REINFORCED WHY MCCAIN COMPARED OBAMA TO THIS IDIOT. THE CUE CARD READING WAS HORRIBLE, ACTING HORRIBLE, AND THE REASON YOUNG GIRLS ARE STUPID NOWADAYS…THEY THINK THIS IS A ROLD MODEL. WHATS EVEN MORE PATHETIC IS THE GAY ADMIRATION MOST QUEENS GIVE HER. IT’S SO SAD HEARING PEOPLE TALK ABOUT HER LIKE SHE’S DONE SOMETHING RELEVANT.
mark
No31-No4
This must have REALLY gotten under your skin…smooches again Paris.
buh hahahahaha!
mark
If Paris Hilton would b*tch slap Michelle Malkin and Coulter…I’d vote for her.
John
whoever wrote it and directed it and got Paris deliver those lines with ease did a great job, and I hate to say it but so did she, they all deserve credit for making us laugh at McCains stupid ad.
I think it’s also great that Kathy Hilton is pulling their financial support for McCain…I guess McCain forgot that the Hiltons are a major contributor to the Republican party…not any more, McCain just shot himself in the foot.
AladinSane
to poster 31, much as a I am not a fan of PH, your vitriolic diatribe in all caps makes you look silly, especially as you don’t do your homework…from the funny or die site (the peeps that made this)
“I’m sure for a lot of you, your spirits are broken, realizing your glitzy, club-loving idol is human, but it’s true. From the moment we arrived in the Hamptons to shoot the video, Paris was as nice and accommodating as can be. She kept running inside to make sure we never ran out of bottled water and as the shoot wrapped up, she made us turkey sandwiches.
That’s right. Paris Hilton made us turkey sandwiches. Herself. We didn’t even ask for them. The mustard was spicy, the bread was toasted…they were perfect.
Oh, and guess what else was perfect? Paris’ eye line in the video because she DIDN’T USE CUE CARDS. Again, deal with it. I guess the fact that she memorized giant chunks of dialogue for our tiny internet video was the least hospitable thing she did because I spent all night before making up cue cards and then she didn’t even use them.
Overall, have to say, Paris was a pro with a great sense of humor and welcomed us as guests into her home.”
Jake
She can make a speech much better than McSame. She can read cue cards better than him. And her energy policy is more coherent than his.
m
No 4. If you’re going to call someone stupid I’d recommend spell check.
The young people who are stupid would be stupid with or without Paris. Paris is a product of the current society as much as the young girls are.
And we aren’t all stupid.
mark
FUNNY McCain-Spears 08′ video
http://newteevee.com/2008/08/06/blonde-revenge-john-mccain-vs-paris-hilton-via-adam-mckay/
Bitch Republic
Yes, the video was funny and a good comeback to McCain and I liked it for those qualities, but to say, as Queerty does, that Paris “blew our collective mind” and that she offers “an intriguing, sensible energy compromise” is a HUGE stretch. That’s all I’m saying.
Paris isn’t somehow amazing because she gave a little speech and “her” energy policy belongs in the toilet.
http://www.BitchRepublic.net
Mr C
Alrighty Ms Motherfucking Bitch Republic….WORK!
Gregoire
Now I anxiously await Britney Spear’s response.
nysro
I have never cared for her one or the other… but this was actually pretty good and funny.
It wasn’t meant to be a showcase of acting skills, and reading ability, it was meant to be funny.. and it was.
seitan-on-a-stick
We’ll take Paris! But why did her parents donate the maximum allowable donation to the McWrinkly White Guy? Oh, the Hiltons are the Top 5% in wealth! Maybe, Britney will switch allegiance too (remember in Fahrenheit 911 when she voiced support for W in this ficticious War) Please, just not Li-LO! I’m maxed out on Dumb Blondes! For the Upper-case Dummy, that’s IRAQ!!
rick
i almost admire her now. and i feel dirty because of it. she did do a great job.