Have you recovered yet from your first trip down memory lane? We unearthed the television hunks of 1970s for you last weekend and now we’re going to fast forward to the ‘80s — a decade when the divas of Dynasty and Dallas waged wars of big hair while we salivated over men with mustaches and chest hair, and suits pastel and double-breasted. (Yeah, and those guys who often wore few clothes at all. You know who you are, Lorenzo Lamas!) Don’t worry, we know, we know…we’re waiting for your push-back because we couldn’t include everyone in out Top 10.
If we missed your favorite, tell us in the comments section.
Tom Selleck in Magnum P.I. (1980-1988)
All that man — and all that hair — just busting out of those Hawaiian shirts was enough to make a boy squeal for eight straight, er, gay years.
John Schneider in The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-1985)
Fantasies about kissing cousins gave us goosebumps…and visions of all the things we would do in the backseat of the General Lee with Schneider and co-star Tom Wopat.
Bruce Boxleitner in Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983-1987)
Sure the show was squeaky clean, but we had our share of dirty thoughts about super-spy Scarecrow. That Kate Jackson sure was one lucky-ass housewife — Angel our ass!
Lee Horsley in Matt Houston (1982-1985)
Simply because he looked like a Colt model before we even knew what a Colt model was, we were in lust.
Rex Smith in Street Hawk (1985)
Sure he’s got both the stage and film version of Pirates of Penzance on his resumé, but take away that gay cache and lets get right down to what we really cared about him having under his belt. Us. Clad in leather head-to-toe and riding that crotch rocket? Yes, please.
Tony Danza in Who’s The Boss? (1984-1992)
Who cared who the boss was as long as this buff, former-boxer, man-maid was at your every beck and call? “Do my dishes! Massage my feet! Take me to bed!”
Jon-Erik Hexum and Antony Hamilton in Cover Up (1984-1985)
These two were too sexy for their own damn good. Tragically, both stars died young: 26-year-old Hexum (left) on the show’s set in 1984 while playing with a prop gun; Hamilton in 1995 at age 42 of AIDS-related pneumonia.
Lorenzo Lamas in Falcon Crest (1981-1990)
We know why you snuck into your sister’s room to watch the Crest with her, and it wasn’t just to get your nails did. Lamas could take us for a swim in that Speedo any day of the week. And thrice on…any day of the week.
Scott Bakula in Quantum Leap (1989-1993)
We might get tired of jumping back and forth in time, but with Bakula onboard we’d leap just about anywhere. Preferably right into bed.
Don Johnson or Philip Michael Thomas in Miami Vice (1984-1990)
Yeah, we’re getting greedy. See how we did that? We snuck both Crockett and Tubbs into out Top 10 line-up because, let’s face it, they’re both hot.