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THE LIFE OF PIE

Pizza Man Herman Cain Says Veggie Toppings Are For Sissies

Today, instead of reading about a new allegation detailing his alleged tendency to sexually harass women, we found out a bit about Herman Cain, the gourmand.

In a GQ interview, Cain likened his Republican primary opponents to flavors of ice cream: Mitt Romney is “just plain vanilla,” Rick Perry is “rocky road” and ,perhaps in a veiled jab at her spouse, he labeled Michele Bachmann “tutti-frutti,” adding, “I know I’m going to get in trouble!”

Ice cream isn’t quite Cain’s forte, but the Godfather’s CEO also explained he’s very choosy about the toppings he puts on his pizza pie, revealing he likes “lots of meat” and that “the more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe, the more manly is.”

Huh?

“The more manly man is not afraid of abundance,” explains Cain. “A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza.”

Guess this means we’ll have to add veggie pizza to the list of girlie foods that plague our kitchens: baby carrots,  soft-serve ice cream, tofu, macaroons, and gluten-free anything.

Image via Robert Huffstutter

By:           Brody Brown
On:           Nov 14, 2011
Tagged: , , ,
  • 19 Comments
    • Georgie
      Georgie

      Yeah, I bet he likes his meat. Sausage, probably.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 4:18 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JayKay
      JayKay

      Well he’s right…

      Nov 14, 2011 at 4:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      Well I assumed he’s never been to Italy. I didn’t realize he’s apparently never been to NYC, Boston or Philly either.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • DavyJones
      DavyJones

      I’d think ‘tutti-frutti’ was less a jab at her husband, and more a jab at calling her batshit crazy… Which she is…

      Nov 14, 2011 at 4:39 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ian
      Ian

      God, this guy is an idiot.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 4:45 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Inspector X
      Inspector X

      You heard the man, eating somewhat healthy pizza is for fags.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 5:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • illiam
      illiam

      it is for sissies!!!!

      give a pizza with lots o’ meat

      Nov 14, 2011 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • the other Greg
      the other Greg

      Funny that Queerty has a Papa John’s ad pop up on the screen now.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 6:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Marie Cohn
      Marie Cohn

      Herman the Spermanator likes the fur calzone!

      Nov 14, 2011 at 6:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • macmantoo
      macmantoo

      Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll have a heart attack from so much grease.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 6:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ken
      Ken

      Manly men like a pizza piled high with meat, eh Herman?

      If you want to be a manly man, consider for a minute that one of the early indicators of poor vascular health and heart disease is erectile dysfunction.

      Nov 14, 2011 at 10:22 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      Michele Bachmann is “tutti-frutti”? Was Herman thinking of Michele or Marcus Bachmann?

      Nov 14, 2011 at 11:32 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • hf2hvit
      hf2hvit

      I bet he like lots of meat on his pies…the pie of every white woman he sees.

      Nov 15, 2011 at 1:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robbie K.
      Robbie K.

      “toppings” “manly” “lots of meat”…damn I am getting all flustered I need to order me that pizza

      Nov 15, 2011 at 1:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Phil
      Phil

      God this man is dumb. Everything he does is dumb. Everything he says is dumb. Everything he thinks is dumb. So. So. Dumb.

      Nov 15, 2011 at 3:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christopher di spirito
      christopher di spirito

      Herman Cain’s raison d’être isn’t U.S. foreign policy.

      The Republican presidential candidate and Tea Party darling could not answer a straight forward question about Libya from the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel editorial board on Monday.

      Cain replied:

      “President Obama called for the removal of Gaddafi. Just want to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, yes I agree, I know I didn’t agree. I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — no, that’s a different one. I gotta go back to…, Got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me, did I agree or not disagree with on what?”

      Nov 15, 2011 at 12:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert in NYC
      Robert in NYC

      No. 15 and to a greater extent, the Tea Partyers are dumb.

      Nov 15, 2011 at 1:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 15 · Phil wrote, “God this man is dumb.”

      For more laughs, read http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2011/11/12/national/a085333S82.DTL where Cain says that God told him to run, comparing himself to Moses. One can only hope that some of this analogy sticks and that Cain ends up leading the Republicans into 40 years in the wilderness (but with no happy ending after that). Either “God” is a Democrat or He’s a friend of Steven Colbert and Jon Stewart.

      Also check out http://www.kcci.com/r/29768817/detail.html (unfortunately with an annoying ad at the start, so kill the volume before clicking on the link), for a video of him sitting confused for a good 10 seconds when asked about Libya. He’s now in major spin control mode trying to explain away that performance.

      Cain also claims that homosexuality is a choice (). This may be an attempt to bring the country together in prayer: whether you are gay or straight, you could very easily pray, “Please God, make him be on the other team.”

      No. 17 · Robert in NYC wrote, “No. 15 and to a greater extent, the Tea Partyers are dumb.” … I saw one today (public hearing in town about a state-wide project). Yeah, they are really, really dumb, but after seeing the video above, I might go for a tie.

      Nov 15, 2011 at 11:37 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Queer Supremacist
      Queer Supremacist

      He’s not only dumb but a hypocrite. He’s a Jesus freak who believes homosexuality is a sin, yet he sells pizzas with meat on them.

      We need a gay president now.

      Nov 17, 2011 at 5:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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