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Please Don’t Let God Have Given Sherri Shepherd a Gay Son

Should parents ask their kids if they’re gay? Or wait for their gay kids to accidentally let themselves get caught wearing mama’s pumps and lipstick? Let’s check in with the seasoned experts of The View!

Shockingly, Elisabeth Hasselbeck has one of the most reasoned answers, while (not shockingly at all) Sherri Shepherd paints herself as a parent who this universe should never give a gay child. Because girl doesn’t know the first thing about spotting “the clues.”

Ya know her son Jeffrey? The 4-year-old who likes wearing mommy’s make-up? It’s time to join PFLAG, lady.

By:           editor editor
On:           Jun 15, 2009
Tagged: , , , ,

  • 35 Comments
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      Her son is being raised by a single mother. He sees her put on make-up and wants to experiment. This has ABSOLUTELY NO bearing on rather he will grow up to be gay or straight. Also, Elizabeth is one of those financial conservatives that strays on the side of supporting the Republican party in almost all causes, but her support for gays and lesbians has been well known to anyone that watches that show for years.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Captain Freedom
      Captain Freedom

      Sherri Shepherd is a fat cow who needs to be sent to the fat farm.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      you know what would be really useful in this discussion… someone who’s parents did point blank ask them… how convenient then that I’m here :p
      When I was in 8th grade my mother did ask me, rather bluntly I might add. I know in retrospect that she didn’t mean it to feel like an interrogation, but in the end, she might as well have started waterboarding me. I felt cornered, I felt trapped, hell, I wasn’t even really sure myself, I thought I could be, but I didn’t want to say that, not to this interrogator. So, I did the only thing a 13 year old knows how to do, I lied, “no mom, I’m not gay. I like women, I’ve never seen a man the same way as I’ve seen a woman.” Then I spent nearly a decade doing everything I could to support that lie. It’s very hard coming out after point blank telling someone that “mom, I’m not gay”. Would I have come out sooner had she not asked? Maybe. Would it be a less difficult prospect? Oh most definitely, correcting a lie is never easy, especially when it is a lie you made to someone who cares about you.
      So my answer to the question, should parents ask their children is most definitely NO. Be open, be supporting, create an environment where your children feel comfortable talking to you, but never violate that by cornering you child and forcing them to answer one way or the other when in truth they may not know yet themselves.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 5:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christy
      christy

      @galefan2004:

      Elisatwit Hasselbitch has made her views about gay marriage and gay issues in general well known and the brainless blond bimbo doesn’t support the gay community in any way shape or form. Her attitude towards gay marriage as a matter of fact is that if gays and lesbians are allowed to marry their same sex partners, then next people will be allowed to marry their toasters. She’s also a well known cheerleader for the Republican party and Sister Sarah Palin’s bff during the campaign. Ugh, I wish the woman would disappear from The View and she can take Sherri with her.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 6:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tallskin
      Tallskin

      God’s teeth, WHAT the frack is that fat object of derision on the right???

      Can I suggest it be boiled down to make soap?

      Jun 15, 2009 at 6:52 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andrew Triska
      Andrew Triska

      @Mike: Might it have been different if she had done it more gently? Or if you had been a little older? Or if she had provided an environment in which she made it clear that it was okay to be gay? A lot of factors enter into this — I’m sure that some mothers and some sons could reasonably have the “are-you-gay” conversation turn out well.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 6:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Mike: My best friend’s mom started by telling his dad that I was gay to try to get him used to the idea of having gay people around. The result was that she decided not to tell his dad that another one of his friends was gay as his dad viewed me like a piranha although I had grown up knowing his dad for the last 6 years at that time. She also asked him if he was gay, to which he responded, “No mom, I’m not gay!” Then he went out and got himself a girl friend and he even tried to let his girl friend go down on him and it just didn’t work. His other friend, the one that he wasn’t allowed to tell his dad he was gay, ended up going down on him as well and that pretty much proved to him that he was definitely gay.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 7:58 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      For that matter, my mom found some images I had printed out at school of gay porn. She asked me if I was gay. I told her I just liked all types of porn. She left it at that.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 7:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @christy: Care to provide links? I’m not doubting what you say. I would just like to see some links. Personally, I don’t give a crap what she does in her personal life, and I understand that she supported Palin, but hell I even supported Palin during the primary(mostly because I want to get fucked by her husband) although I didn’t vote for McCain. I was talking about her perception on the show, and on the show she is very supportive of gays and lesbians.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:04 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dabq
      Dabq

      @galefan2004: That’s about all Palin has is a hot husband who is as dumb as dirt and good at following orders, and, if people think ‘the earth is flat Sherri’ would have major issues with a gay chil, try Palin and company.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Republican
      Republican

      I never was asked, but I think my situation is a bit unusual. Growing up, my parents didn’t talk about sex or sexual orientation. Period. During my teen years, I was in the room next to their master suite. I would sneak guys into my bedrroom and literally fuck them (sometimes quite loudly). Not once did they ever bring up the subject of sex. It didn’t matter to them at all.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Tommy
      Tommy

      What’s wrong with what Sherri said? She seemed unstereotypical to me. I’m gay and I never played with makeup, dolls or liked feminine things. Not every gay man is girlie. Growing up I liked sports and toy trucks.
      Likewise, I know straight guys who loved fashion and art growing up.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:31 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Dabq: I like that he is dumb as dirt because it leads to less complications, but I want him to give orders not take them. Oh well, I guess I can’t always get exactly what I want in a fantasy man.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Tommy: How dare you like sports and toy trucks! You are just a closeted straight man! Damn you! I’M KIDDING BTW!

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fitz
      Fitz

      In college I was an au pare to cute little 4 y/o who LOVED wearing mommy’s dresses and pumps, and even gave himself a girlified version of his name. Just recently he found me via FaceBook. Little- Dude is now a stunningly handsome hetty stud (but a good guy) in his last year of grad school. I say all this cuz 4 y/o’s do fun stuff, and inhibiting them wont make them straight and indulging them wont make them gay, and over interpreting it isn’t good parenting.

      My own start-to-coming out was at a family picnic when I brought my GF, and my aunt pulled me aside and asked me why the fuck I was toying with this girl’s feelings when I was the biggest fag she knew. lol. Not the most gentle woman, but right.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Disgusted American
      Disgusted American

      you know what would be really useful in this discussion… someone who’s parents did point blank ask them… how convenient then that I’m here :p
      When I was in 8th grade my mother did ask me, rather bluntly I might add. I know in retrospect that she didn’t mean it to feel like an interrogation, but in the end, she might as well have started waterboarding me. I felt cornered, I felt trapped, hell, I wasn’t even really sure myself, I thought I could be, but I didn’t want to say that, not to this interrogator. So, I did the only thing a 13 year old knows how to do, I lied, “no mom, I’m not gay. I like women, I’ve never seen a man the same way as I’ve seen a woman.” Then I spent nearly a decade doing everything I could to support that lie. It’s very hard coming out after point blank telling someone that “mom, I’m not gay”. Would I have come out sooner had she not asked? Maybe. Would it be a less difficult prospect? Oh most definitely, correcting a lie is never easy, especially when it is a lie you made to someone who cares about you.
      So my answer to the question, should parents ask their children is most definitely NO. Be open, be supporting, create an environment where your children feel comfortable talking to you, but never violate that by cornering you child and forcing them to answer one way or the other when in truth they may not know yet themselves.

      Posted: Jun 15, 2009 at 5:58 pm · @Reply · [Flag?]

      What a compelling story…thank you for sharing. Profound. I didn’t have that experience – but I can def. understand what you are saying.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The D.Stro
      The D.Stro

      “Should you ask your kids if they’re gay?” Why not ask them if they’re straight? Wait, I forgot, we’re all straight until proven gay. So it’s OK to raise our children with a heterocentrist worldview, inundate them with heteronormative media, omit any discussion of homosexuality in health or sex ed, and then ask them, “Are you GAY!?”

      Because you have two options for sexuality: GAY or NOT. “Straight” is not a sexuality, evidently it’s an assumed normal state.

      And the whole boys’ toys, girls’ toys, fashion/art/Barbies gender role thing? I used to play with Barbies when I was a kid and look at me now…. oh wait. nvm.

      But seriously, all those straight people who used to play with girls’ toys and be all into fashion and art when they were little… obviously someone wasn’t doing a good enough job RECRUITING them to gaydom. So, that was really our fault. :/

      Jun 15, 2009 at 8:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      I think my favorite coming out experience was at my mom’s and stepdad’s house when one of the neighbors came over. I was just sitting there and talking the neighbor for a bit, and the dude comes right out and asks me if I had ever had sex with a woman. I simply said no. My step-dad, asked the dude if he had ever had sex with a man and then told me that is what I was “supposed” to ask. Although, I didn’t agree with him, because I’m simply not that advert, I had to love his spirit.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 9:07 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stacey
      Stacey

      Well, one thing for sure, I know I would be supportive in any way I could. I think it is up to both the parent and the child. It just depends. You have to communicate with your kids. That is a tough one..

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:00 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stacey
      Stacey

      I think it would be okay if the parents asks if they have a boyfriend or girlfreind? Not straight out if they are gay…. It is up to the parents and the child.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 10:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • galefan2004
      galefan2004

      @Stacey: Great, then you not only just attacked them for being gay but being single too. Just kidding mostly, but my god the pressure in the gay community is immense to get all coupled up or to have as many meaningless hook ups as possible, and when you aren’t into doing either of those things at the given moment you get looked at like you are from Mars.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 11:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Nickadoo
      Nickadoo

      Her comments strike me more as being naive than hateful, as is most of the “controversial” comments I’ve heard her make. In her defense, keep in mind, that her son is only 4-years-old. I’d think it’d be difficult for most parents, regardless of their political, social, or religious views, to proscribe any sort of sexuality or sexual identity onto their own children at such a young age.

      Jun 15, 2009 at 11:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Terri
      Terri

      I am OBSESSED with Adam Lambert and recently was looking at pictures of Adam and “friend” Drake and my 8 yr. old boy came up and asked is that Adam? I said yes and his boyfriend…and watched for a reaction to my 8 yr.olds face, there wasn’t one so then I asked him “what do you think of Adam having a boyfriend?” his reply “You’re gonna love who you’re gonna love” and shrugged his shoulders and walked away. Out of the mouths of babes….

      Jun 16, 2009 at 12:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Lilly White
      Lilly White

      Whoopi came the closest to making the point that a parent can’t just all the sudden get curious and flat out ask “Are you gay?” without having, over the years, established a relationship of trust, opennness and unconditional love and acceptance. A parent can’t do this AFTER the sexuality question occurs to them.

      Also, a parent can’t do this if the child’s perspective has been poisoned from an early age by hate-spewing priests and pastors and small-minded Sunday school teachers, and homophobic/hetero-centric school teachers and Neanderthal athletics coaches. Posing the sexuality question to a 12-, 13-, 14-year old kid (let alone one younger) is asking a kid to know and understand his/her own mind well enough to swim against an overwhelmingly strong current of attitudes that they’ve been exposed to.

      I have a lot of admiration and respect for kids at that age who DO know, and who are strong-enough minded to be who they are openly. But if a parent is questioning, chances are the kid is too. Let him/her bring the subject up in their own time, in their own way, on their own terms. When they’re ready, they’ll know, and they’ll let the parents know.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 1:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • a
      a

      @Mike:

      I’m 20, and I think my parents know or have some idea, but they won’t ask me. Furthermore, I think that if they were to inquire about my sexuality, i would be able to come out to them. Mike, I understand that in 8th grade you weren’t sure yet and that you felt interrogated, but maybe if it were handled a different way, and if you were asked at a later date you would have felt more confident to come out.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 3:05 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert, NYC
      Robert, NYC

      @Tommy:

      Tommy, I knew I was gay from the age of 7 believe it or not. I too was not the stereotypical gay male that some ignoramouses on The View like to portray us. I never played with makeup, women’s clothes, shoes. I played a lot of sport like most other boys, in fact nobody suspected a thing, not even my parents who weren’t homophobic either. I grew up with two loving parents who happened to have a lot of gay friends I discovered in my late teens. I was more than fortunate. In no way did those gay friends of my parents affect who I later became, a well adjusted gay male. I have two brothers, one older and the other younger than I am, both turned out straight.

      The thing that annoys me most with The View is that Barbara Walters NEVER invites a gay expert on to dispel the myths about us, someone like Michelangelo Signorile, Joe Solomonese, Kevin Cathcart. She constantly allows Shepherd and Hasselbeck carte blanche to spew their stupidity that only promotes ignorance and reinforces the myths. The only two with any semblance of sense and decency are Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 8:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • christy
      christy

      @galefan2004:
      @christy: Care to provide links? I’m not doubting what you say. I would just like to see some links. Personally, I don’t give a crap what she does in her personal life, and I understand that she supported Palin, but hell I even supported Palin during the primary(mostly because I want to get fucked by her husband) although I didn’t vote for McCain. I was talking about her perception on the show, and on the show she is very supportive of gays and lesbians.

      Galefan,

      Are you sure you aren’t confusing Elisatwit with Kelly Ripa from Regis and Kelly? Her husband Mark Consuelos is a very attractive man, and Kelly and Elisatwit are both skinny, bottle blondes with shrill annoying voices, but I think Kelly might have been supporting Obama if she’s supportive of gay rights. I don’t know if they still exist thanks to ABC, but I know youtube is full of clips of Elisatwit spouting her ignorance over the last few years.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 9:08 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • derek
      derek

      @Terri
      You’re obviously doing your job as a parent—minds generally don’t open themselves. Regarding the video clip: Whoopi, Joy, and Barbaras’ responses were to be expected. I was surprised at the insightfulness of elisabeth’s response. Her point was that it’s important to maintain open lines of communication with your children even (and especially) involving subjects that might be difficult to broach or of an uncomfortable nature to you. Also, I didn’t think Sherri said anything particularly negative (maybe I need to watch the clip again).
      Parents should have a discussion with their child if they suspect he/she may be gay, it’ just a matter of when. At 7 or 8 one generally isn’t able to identify themselves as gay or straight. In my case, I always (my earliest distinct recollections of being attracted to men sexually were at age 4) felt an attraction to men, but wasn’t able to fully identify, describe, or appreciate what I was feeling until probably age 9 or 10. If an adult had asked me at 6, 7, or 8 to identify myself as gay or straight I would probably have stood there with a blank look on my face, not knowing what they were asking. Terri’s situation is perfect: Obviously, the child has been raised to comprehend that someone’s sexuality is a non-issue.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 9:49 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robert, NYC
      Robert, NYC

      The assumption that a male child playing with makeup, dolls, etc…is a stereotypical myth and one that most straights like to promote and use as factors playing a role in sexual orientation. Nothing could be further from the truth. Many cross dressers/transvestites are straight, they wear makeup, even wear women’s underwear but are heterosexual. Many are even married and the wives know. So what does that say about them? I doubt if Shepherd or Hasselbeck ever thought about that let alone are aware. Ignorance is bliss for many.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 9:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sam
      Sam

      @Mike: I was also asked point blank by my mother if I was gay, but I had a totally different experience. I told her I was and it literally felt like this huge weight had been lifted not to have to lie to her anymore. I’m still thankful that she asked me.

      I can’t know for sure, but I bet a big part of the difference was that you were in 8th grade while I was a Junior in High School. Asking a kid that young a question about sexuality is just too much pressure. In 8th grade I was pretty sure I was gay, but still had “girlfriends” who I’d make out with at parties. It wasn’t until later that I realized I wanted a boyfriend instead.

      So I think parents can ask their kids if they’re gay…if they’re old enough to really know. For younger kids, just talking about LGBT people in an accepting, affirming way can open the door for your kid to tell you when he/she is ready.

      Jun 16, 2009 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jane
      Jane

      I actually appreciated Sherri’s comments – gender expression is not really included in sexuality – masculine women can be straight, lesbian, bisexual, etc, and the same goes for men. While her comments might have been made out of ignorance, I appreciated that she said that a boy who plays with makeup is not automatically hinting at being gay.

      And as for me, I had a family that had gradually warmed up to the idea (they were never particularly against it), and had provided a consistently supportive atmosphere and waited patiently for me to tell them, informing me that they had placed bets on when I would finally tell them and had assumed I would do it when I was ready.

      Jun 17, 2009 at 11:46 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Maggie
      Maggie

      For more or less all of history before the 1800s, young boys wore dresses, before their “breeching” at around 4-10 years old. They wore dresses of the exact same sort that young girls wore, and they wore them all the time. The way you were able to tell a difference in gender was via a “masculine” hat (the masculine hats back then were kind of… girly), or if they were running around being active.
      This odd stigma on very young boys wearing dresses is a very recent thing – only within the last 200 or so years did 4-year-olds ever wear pants at all.

      As for my story, I personally knew I was lesbian since I was 12, and my immediate family kind of ALL guessed before I told them. On the whole, my family reacted well. My Dad had alot of gay friends when he was younger (our current suburb has fewer gay people than the smallest towns I could think of in Texas, according to a few censuses), and is one of the awesomest people I know, especially on this matter, so.

      Jun 18, 2009 at 2:57 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stephen
      Stephen

      I really like what Barbara said: that the parents should let their children know that they love them unconditionally no matter what, so as to open the door and alleviate their fear, but not put any pressure on the child to come out if he or she is not yet ready. Go Barbara.

      Jul 1, 2009 at 1:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Bruce
      Bruce

      I personally think that it should be a non issue. With all the teens out on the street due to ignorant, predjudiced parents kicking them out for being gay, I cannot advocated asking at any age if someone is gay. It should be totally up to the individual to come out at his/her discretion and we really need to adjust the focus away from sexuality as THE defining quality of a person. I have wonderful straight friends and relatives as well as wonderful gay friends and relatives as well as vice versa. Sexuality is a personal thing and until we can provide for “street” people in a humane way, I think we should keep that question off the table. And I thought each of the ladies showed a lot of class and compassion talking about this issue.

      Aug 14, 2009 at 1:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cameron
      Cameron

      I personally don’t think it’s fair to just come out and ask your child if he or she is gay just because he or she may be a little Fem. or Masc….I mean people don’t go around asking their kids…*Are you Straight*…Some people like to keep their private & public lives separated…Asking ARE YOU GAY? would be so weird…Even if the child is gay, by asking that may bring even MORE fear of how he or she thinks the parent will react…so I’m sure they’ll definately Lie, just to avoid the WHOLE weirdness of a parent asking that….As for Sherri, I hope she’s not trying to down homosexuals…WAKE UP SWEETIE…you help your kid put on make-up…Blush at that…People who live in Glass houses shouldn’t through stones Sherri.

      Dec 20, 2009 at 3:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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