It was only a matter of time, but it took no time at all: Since its release on July 6, Pokémon Go has officially become more popular than Internet porn.
First it took over your Facebook feed. Then, it drank your friend’s souls. Now, it’s making pornography its little bitch.
Adult website xHamster.com reports the top search on their site is Pokémon porn.
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“In the last 5 days we have seen a giant shift in porn searches,” says XHampster.com spokesman Alex Hawkins. “Our top searches which usually consist of ‘MILF,’ ‘Teen,’ and ‘Interracial’ have been replaced with ‘Pokémon,’ ‘Pikachu,’ ‘Hentai,’ and ‘Anime’. Anime has become our #1 accessed genre over the weekend with the booming popularity of Pokémon Go.”
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And according to a statement from YouPorn:
[YouPorn] is giving Pokémon Go its very own badge for its recent conquering of the internet, as well as the hearts and minds of Americans. In Pokemon you earn badges for defeating gym leaders. YouPorn concedes the Wood Badge to Nintendo for dethroning porn as a top search term.”
The implications are troubling. Perhaps even infuriating.
Congratulations @NintendoAmerica! You’ve broken the Internet. Pokemon Go is officially more popular than porn! pic.twitter.com/GrR1nUGV8p
— YouPorn Katie (@YouPorn) July 11, 2016
In further news: As a species, we now must grapple with the fact that Pokémon Go aficionados are using the decidedly phallic Diglett Pokémon, and using him towards their own devious ends: Namely, dick pics.
This Diglett is soo hard to capture.. #PokemonGo pic.twitter.com/mWxoEKijmc
— Mïnh (@_minnhhh) July 7, 2016
Excuse me #pokemonGO pic.twitter.com/F61TEY69z9
— Nate (@ndylitalo) July 7, 2016
#PokemonGo A wild Diglett appears… pic.twitter.com/q3zh4sWWy7
— Killer Stuff (@KitschKiller) July 7, 2016
To sum up: All is doom. All is darkness.
dustashed
So happy rn lol
Prinny
I guess after the corpse incident dick pics shouldn’t surprise me.
Chris
Awesome; before gay men realized they’re gay, they watched and played video games. I’m waiting for Super Mario Cart.
Captain Obvious
Clicked for that top pic but couldn’t care less about the Pokemon nonsense.