– It was only a matter of time — we guess? — before Anderson Cooper got his own comic book. Political Power does make him sound pretty heroic, though: “Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, the silver fox chose to follow his passion, journalism…with a vengeance!” Wait, is that an actual silver fox behind him? Aaaaaaaand express shipping.
– Dolce & Gabbana have been sentenced to jail for one year and 8 months for tax evasion, but — good news! — they’ll have plenty of time to design limited edition prison uniforms.
– Seriously, Harry Styles and Zayn Malik just need to make a gay sex tape and get it over with already.
– Ed Hardy blames the demise of his unique brand of god awful crap on former reality star and current douchebag Jon Gosselin. And here we thought Ed Hardy genetically engineered Jon to perfectly embody its clothes. Go figure.
– “I am a firm believer in karma” and 10 other amazing quotes from The Bling Ring.
– Chris Colfer got arrested at his UK book signing…for being too darn cute! We just want to pinch those felonious cheeks!
– There shall be no Twit pic when the royal baby is birthed from Kate Middleton‘s lavishly upholstered ladyparts; rather an announcement will be made on the same wood and gold easel used for Prince William‘s birth in 1982. They used some dirt and an Etch a Sketch™ for Harry.
– Jamie Foxx, Matt Damon, Miley Cyrus and other celebs with too much time on their hands are ready to “Channing All Over Your Tatum.”
– Her Holiness Cher — giving us Road Warrior realness — appeared on The Voice finale last night, to bellow out her latest gay dance anthem, “Woman’s World.” Adam Levine was this close to stripping off his shirt and putting the moves like Jagger on Usher: