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Daniel Radcliffe’s Jewish Half, Justin Bieber Gets Slap Happy & Matt Damon Goes Down The Toilet

teen-wolf-twins

- Remember the twins from Desperate Housewives? Neither do we, but they’re all growed up and shirtless on Teen Wolf.

- Beyoncé and Oprah held their own State of the Union Address last night, but sadly the other Supreme, Michelle Obama, had a prior engagement.

- Justin Timberlake and Mr. Beyoncé, Jay-Z, are planning a 10-city stadium tour later this year.

lena-dunham-rs- Lena Dunham is on the cover of Rolling Stone and much like Girls, it simultaneously intrigues us yet makes us incredibly uncomfortable.

- Frank Ocean plans on stepping away from the limelight for two years duing which he’ll hang out in Singapore, write a book and perform voodoo on Chris Brown.

- Meanwhile, Brown was not getting a much-needed tongue-lashing from Adele after all. Nice job rolling in the creep, Adkins.

- The director of Kill Your Darlings had doubts about casting noted goy Daniel Radcliffe as Allen Ginsberg, but luckily his boyfriend pointed out to him that the Equus star was all Jew from the waist down. Hint: his penis.

- 67-year-old national treasure Steve Martin is now a dad for the first time.

- Sore Grammy snubee Justin Bieber said the Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney “should be slapped around ha ha” for reading him like a picture book.

- Pictures of Kate Middleton‘s alleged baby bump have been leaked by an Italian tabloid and the royal family is none too happy about it.

- Porn star cum Lindsay Lohan victim co-star James Deen has been approached to star in a porn parody of the ill-fated The Canyons…probably titled The Canyons. And probably co-staring Lindsay, if that haute Mexican restaurant doesn’t work out. Hint: it won’t.

- Matt Damon won’t be going to the bathroom until everyone has access to clean water…so it’s going to be a long, hard road for his colon:


  • 6 Comments
    • Adam
      Adam

      “Noted goy” Daniel Radcliffe? I hate to keep ragging on these articles, but Radcliffe has said repeatedly in interviews that he’s a proud Jew (which not even more traditional Jews can refute, since it’s from his mother’s side.

      Feb 13, 2013 at 7:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • boring
      boring

      You know who makes really good fathers? People in their ’60s.

      Feb 13, 2013 at 7:16 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Falkner09
      Falkner09

      About Daniel Radcliffe being jewish fromt he waist down. um….. a friend of mine saw Equus in the front row, and confirmed that Mr. Radcliffe is indeed intact. And the shots from Equus confirm it. myth busted.

      Feb 13, 2013 at 8:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • deeone
      deeone

      yeah, seriously, “noted goy”, wtf? More bubble stuff. Remember that day the whole world traced Daniel Radcliffe’s ancestry and concluded definitively he wasn’t Jewish? I think February 7, 2004, was it? Wasn’t that the day he became a “noted goy”? I mean seriously, other than the fact that it’s been everywhere on the internet forever, he even mentions his Jewish background just a little later down IN THE OUT MAGAZINE ARTICLE YOU’RE REFERENCING. If he’s not Jewish, neither is your beloved Jesse Eisenburgerstein.

      James Franco, who played Ginsberg a few years ago, is also Jewish. And so are Radcliffe’s co-stars in this movie, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Kyra Sedgwick, David Cross, and Ben Foster.

      And for that matter, so are most young, attractive, American, actors, Natalie Portman, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Mila Kunis, Andrew Garfield, Logan Lerman, etc. I might as well use this opportunity to boast, since it’s obvious I’ll get no help from you.

      Feb 13, 2013 at 8:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • MK Ultra
      MK Ultra

      @Falkner09:
      I’m wondering the same thing.
      In pictures from the play he looks very much intact.

      Feb 13, 2013 at 11:42 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fidelio
      Fidelio

      Seriously, Dunham, all the crack addicts I know are frail thin.

      Feb 14, 2013 at 2:20 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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