– Speaking of Ru — and lists — we love a comedy queen countdown, even if it’s technically incomplete without Jujubee.
– Still waiting for the receipts from Benedict Cumberbatch’s allegedly buff new bod for Star Trek: Into Darkness. Doesn’t count without an obligatory shirtless beach photo.
– The writers on E!’s Fashion Police are introducing a new segment: “Bitch Stole My Life.” The scribes are suing Joan Rivers & co. for $1 million in back wages.
– Kate Upton and Diddy are rumored to be shacking up after being spotted canoodling. No one says canoodling anymore.
– President Obama and…Katy Perry have the most literate Twitter feeds, each scoring around a sixth grade reading level, which is sad on so many levels. Unsurprisingly, Justin Bieber‘s shit-smeared ramblings got him last place, Norway.