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THE BONDS OF FAMILY

Porn Star Eric Rhodes’ Twin Brother Discusses His Death

I threw back the curtain and there you were. Three doctors seemed to be cleaning up from what appeared to be an intense struggle. But it was over. You laid there unresponsive… I called your name but you just laid there, your massive body, naked and a patchy grey. I reached for your hand in hopes a tight grip would be returned, but it too was cold and limp. I wanted to desperately hug you and shake you until you woke up but you were covered in blood.  Instead I stood by your bedside and stared into your face that remained emotionless to my presence. Your eyes looked back at me, but they were dark and that’s when I really knew you were not waking up. You were gone. You left me, the biggest piece of me died there with you.

I drive myself crazy wondering if I had made it there sooner while you were still fighting for life if you would have remembered me as you started to give up. You would have realized that you had a twin brother that you meant the world to and loves you unconditionally. Maybe you would have fought harder if you knew how much I need you. That image is burned into my mind. It’s all I see when I close my eyes. And I hate that I have to remember you that way I just hope that you knew I was there. The person you entered into this world with was with you when you left it.”

Jon Naughtin, in a letter to his late twin brother, Jim—a.k.a. porn performer Erik Rhodeson his Tumblr page.

Source: The Sword

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Sep 20, 2012
Tagged: , , , , ,
  • 13 Comments
    • Gigi Gee
      Gigi Gee

      I hope the bitchy, back-stabbing comments are kept to a minimum. I’ve struggled with alcoholism and depression myself so I know what it’s like to be so low that you don’t realize that there are others in the world who love you. It’s interesting that many of us in the gay “community” love to watch porn but we also love to castigate those masturbatory fantasies who perform in porn. I’ve privileged to know a few erotic entertainers – two pron actors and three dancers – and they were some of the nicest guys I’d ever met. So sweet and kind and super hot looking but inside, each one was looking for nothing more than love and understanding. I cried when I read Jon’s homage to his brother. I lost someone that I loved in a very similar way. They leave us and we’re left to wonder what, if anything, we could have done differently. What we could have done to save them.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 8:29 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gigi Gee
      Gigi Gee

      @Gigi Gee: Attention Grammar Police: I know there are typos.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 8:30 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dumdum
      Dumdum

      That was so moving.If I were not so old and crusty I would have cried.My tears dried up in the mid 1980s after countless friends had died.Several in my arms.My brother Blake was murdered by a crazy meth-head at 23 and even though we were not close he was the only one in the family that didn’t care that I was Gay.He was a sweet guy who loved animals more than people really,and the loss hit me pretty hard.I was not even invited to his memorial but I loved him all the same.And hey who doesn’t like porn?

      Sep 20, 2012 at 9:03 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Andrew
      Andrew

      @Gigi Gee: Very well said. I totally agree.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 9:55 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • BJ McFrisky
      BJ McFrisky

      @Gigi Gee: I hear, and feel, your pain. Tragedy is tragedy.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 9:56 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • nick knoxx
      nick knoxx

      that was one of the hardest reads for me – tragedy is so true – Dumdum/comment 3 – your so spot on mate – same here it re: old and crusty but it melted this brittle heart of mine

      Sep 20, 2012 at 11:06 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • dvlaries
      dvlaries

      This has been a dreadfully tough year on gay porn stars: the incarcerations of Ryan Idol and Addison, and the too-early demises of Tanner Hayes, Sergio Real, Roman Ragazzi, Adam Faust, Nathan Price and Rhodes.
      *
      Since they’re in a business that obviously doesn’t give a damn about them, their only hope is to be their own best friends, and get out before substance temptations and the spiritual toll exact costs they can’t reverse.
      *
      This young man should not be gone at a mere 30, and I feel very sorry for his family.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 1:14 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cee
      Cee

      @dvlaries: You forgot about Matthew Bremer AKA Sean of Corbin Fisher.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 3:56 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • mpwaite
      mpwaite

      That was the hardest thing to read. OMG I felt like I was right there with Jon; God bless him. I feel so sorry for him and pray that he’s able to cope with the loss. RIP JIM (I would rather remember his birth name than the name that represents his distruction)

      -m

      Sep 20, 2012 at 4:17 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Stache99
      Stache99

      @mpwaite: @dvlaries:I’ve see plenty of people who weren’t porn stars die from substance abuse too. They just never get any attention from any of the media blogs.

      Sep 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sebizzar
      Sebizzar

      @Dumdum: I was already emotional from this article and your comment just did it for me. :'( *HUGS*

      Sep 21, 2012 at 6:12 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sydney Blake
      Sydney Blake

      So sorry for your loss, Jon. May your brother rest in peace.

      Sep 21, 2012 at 4:49 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Raziel Kainne
      Raziel Kainne

      dammit. really. as so many of you have written, this is such a tragedy esp. for those left behind. i’ve written before about how callous gay men (and the rest of the world) can be with people who live outside the mainstream- not that they are much more empathetic with their perceived peers. i read this beautifully written quote and cried. so many i’ve known-myself included- struggle with “fitting in” and just getting through the day without our overwhelming pain consuming us and forcing our hands toward self-destruction. i was one of those beefy, gym-bunny “pretty boys” who never quite found his place though i’d danced on stages wearing very little and had plenty of sex. as @gigi gee puts it “each one (of us-sic)was looking for nothing more than love and understanding…”

      Sep 22, 2012 at 5:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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