Posh Wants You, US

Poor Victoria “Mrs. David” Beckham. She really, really wants America to like her, but sometimes it seems like The States will never appreciate her utter ridiculousness. Luckily, she’s got a few things up her sleeves. Or, rather, on her chest. The Daily Mail reports:

In her quest to become a U.S. television star, Victoria Beckham is prepared to use every asset at her disposal.

And that means two in particular.

Mindful of the Americans’ fondness for spectacular cleavage, the 32-year-old mother of three has been taking every opportunity to show off her ever-growing breasts.

Of course, if that doesn’t work, she’s allegedly in talks with former Spice Girls manager and Simon Cowell‘s better production half Simon Fuller to start a show that’s described as a “cross between Project Catwalk (The British Project Runway) and Next Top Model.”

Great. Just what we need: more fluffy fashion reality television and another set of talking tits. Shit, who are we kidding? If Posh gets a show here in America, we’ll be hooked even before it starts.