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  MONSTER MASH

Just In Time For Halloween, Sex Toys Just Got A Lot Scarier

You already know where you can buy penises of mythical creatures, but what if you’re in the mood for something a little more Halloweeny? Well wipe the seeds out of your Jack-o-lanterns because you tricks are in for a treat.

Yes, Fleshlight (“The flashlight you can fuck!”) has just unveiled their “Freaks” line of monster dildos that lets you choose between Frankencock, a Count Dickula, ZombieDong, Cybercock and an Avatar-inspired alien invader (for those of you who have always wanted to be violated by a Na’vi). There’s even corresponding fleshjacks, if you’d rather not bottom for the undead (prude!).

Plus they make great holiday gifts. Nothing says Happy Hanukkah like a rotting man-cock.

By:           Daniel Villarreal
On:           Oct 1, 2011
Tagged: ,

  • 10 Comments
    • aagblog
      aagblog

      All of the dildos have the disclaimer “Dildo is intended for external use only”, which makes me wonder if the fine folks at Fleshlight have ever used a dildo before?

      Oct 1, 2011 at 10:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • fredo777
      fredo777

      haha what a cute novelty concept. curious, though, why these aren’t branded w/ the gay fleshlight brand, fleshjack?

      maybe they’re just marketing these to women via the main fleshlight site + gay men on the fleshjack one

      Oct 1, 2011 at 10:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Hyhybt
      Hyhybt

      @aagblog: Q-Tips have warnings not to put them in your ears, too. Perhaps a liability thing?

      Oct 1, 2011 at 12:20 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dallas David
      Dallas David

      I was hoping it would work like a real flashlight (shine in the dark) as well as provide ‘comfort’ to lonely spinsters.

      Kids could use something shaped like this as a safety device if it could be made to hold a couple of batteries and a light bulb. Police could make themselves more conspicuous while directing traffic with such a product, too.

      Nevertheless, it’s a good start.

      Oct 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • doug105
      doug105

      old news atleast for the Dildos.
      http://www.bad-dragon.com/cart.php

      Oct 1, 2011 at 2:26 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Prudy McPrude
      Prudy McPrude

      You kinda have to wonder about someone who wants to be schtupped by a rotting Zombie dong!

      But I have been curious about the Franken-peen ever since they said in Young Frankenstein that it went without saying he’d have an enormous schwanzstucker.

      Re: the Bad Dragon toys. If it’s always been your dream to be diddled by Dragons or twaddled by tentacles, have at it I guess. Just don’t come crying to me when a video of you screaming “Pleasure me, Cthulhu, PLEASURE ME!” ends up on the internet!

      Oct 1, 2011 at 7:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fleshlight
      Fleshlight

      These are so gross and amazing I don’t know what to think or feel lol

      Oct 2, 2011 at 7:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Btseven
      Btseven

      @Doug105 – that site is kinda disturbing. But hey, what ever blows your dress up!

      Oct 2, 2011 at 10:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Sabat
      Sabat

      No suction cups?

      Never buy a dildo without a suction cup.

      Oct 2, 2011 at 11:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • An Ella Fan
      An Ella Fan

      “……if you’d rather not bottom for the undead (prude!).”

      Funny stuff Daniel….

      Oct 5, 2011 at 4:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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