Commercial Closet - the non-profit "non-watchdog" group dedicated to celebrating and chastising pro and anti-gay ads, respectively - has announced their nominees for the 2007 Images in Advertising Awards.

Among the nominees, concerned consumers will find ads from, yes, Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs' bear-y friendly bear hug adverts, and the always gay friendly.

Meanwhile, Holiday Inn, NBC Universal and Sony Playstation have all been nominated for the dreaded "clean-up your act warning" - um - award.

AIDS is the great equalizer. Young, old, black, white, gay, straight, transgendered, Christian, Muslim – you name a social group, most likely a member has HIV/AIDS.

Not since the Black Plague has a disease so dramatically altered the course of history. We’re all touched by HIV/AIDS, even if we don’t realize it. Thus, it’s imperative that we all play a role in the protracted nightmare – a message the AIDS Walk embraces in its new social realism-inspired poster campaign...

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The American Family Association has a long history of inciting riots against "pro-gay" companies. They've got their on-and-off hate affair with Wal-Mart. And of course there's their "victorious" campaign against Ford's dalliance with GLAAD.

But how do the "traditional" family focused rabble rousers know which brands to brand enemies of their fundamentalist state? They subject themselves to hours and hours of gay-endorsed television, of course. The group's project summary:

Between February 11 through May 5, American Family Association monitored the top eight prime-time network programs featuring lead or supporting homosexual characters. These programs were specifically identified by the activist-homosexual group GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) as GLAAD Media Award winners, or as showcasing leading or supporting homosexual characters.

If they're really serious about taking down fag-friendly firms, AFA members should again take GLAAD's advice: the media watch dog has a rundown of all the gay pride month televisuals.

Ten companies to support, as per the AFA [AfterElton]
It's Not TV. It's H-O-M-O. [Good As You]

Ball Park Franks has a new advertising campaign - "Hunger Gets What Hunger Wants" - in which burly arms rip through young boys' stomachs, pick up a nice, long dog and cram it down their throats. They're downright freaky.

Of the campaign, homo-journo Dan Avery pleads, "Think of the children!" It seems to us Ball Park may have been thinking about the children a little too much.

Experience another horrific video, after the jump...

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If you think it's hard out there for a pimp, consider the harsh reality of being a tranny hooker. Not only do you have to scour the streets for a turned-on John, but then you have to explain your penis. Regrettably, not so many people are down with a so-called chick-with-a-dick and trans folk face more violent crime than their biologically gendered counterparts.

As such, many trans working girls choose to place ads in weekly rags - at least then they know their clients won't be some crazed lunatic. Unfortunately, they're not all trained copy men (women?). Good thing copyranter offers his expertise free-of-charge:

I'm offering my expert copywriting services to all Transgendered, Transsexual, SheMale, post-op, pre-op, mid-op, etc. Escorts. The challenge of having to juxtapose dissimilar phrases like "Golden Skin" and "Hung" in a small space ad targeted at such a hard-to-nail-down demographic is a huge turn-on. To get things started, I'll dip my toes into the head space:
• Full Lips. Fuller Girth.
• Legs To Die For. All Three Of Them.
• Cloud Nine Inches.
• Sugar Kissing + Candy Cane Licking.

Sexual panic's alive and well, especially in the wild world of advertising. An Advertising Standards Authority report cites a number of contentious same-sex ads. For example, a Gay Police Association advert garnered 553 official complaints.

Meanwhile, while a lesbianic French Connection ad and a gay-tinged Dolce & Gabbana promotion also sparked some angry tirades. Whatever, those people are probably just unfashionable, undeniably reactionary, prudes...

Same-Sex Kisses, Gay Cops Got Most U.K. Ad Complaints [Bloomberg]

• From Chris Rico's new anti-gay basher site Try Love, Not Hate:

I was choking on blood face down on the ground before I even realized what was happening to me. As I struggled to crawl to my feet, I was greeted by thunderous kicks to my ribs and my temple and the venomous and inconceivable cry, “die fucking faggot.”

• Sotheby's has already raked in $280 million since January. Starving artist indeed.

• The "Get a Divorce" billboard got dumped.

• Gay meanie Steven Green remains in critical condition after getting hit by a car while walking to his Rolls Royce. Poor thing.

• Never, ever forget that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger used to pose naked for Robert Mapplethorpe.

• Al Sharpton versus Mitt Romney: may the biggest dickwad win, ride off into the sunset, take the loser and never be seen again. What a wonderful world that would be...

• Lance Bass got a job! As an intern! (That's what he gets for believing in Joey Fatone.)

Alright, these commercials don't fall under the realm of queer as in gay, but they sure are queer as in, "Holy fuck, how queer is it that 60s-era French ice cream ad execs used racial clichés to sell their products?"

Above you see a 1960 Heudebert Ice Cream commercial. After the jump, you'll find a 1962 advert from main competitor, Miko. We're not sure which one we prefer. Sure, they're both horribly racist, but definitely have kitch value. We're leaning toward Miko's - gotta love an innocent white victim in go-go boots. And, of course, her black co-star's "our spirits are broken" "African" dance.

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Copyranter is one of our favorite cynic straights on the 'Net, but he outdid himself this morning when he alerted us to the ad you see at left. We'd tear it apart ourselves, but after reading his assessment, there was really nothing left to say except...BAHAHAHAHAHA!

It does make you wonder how much time, effort, research, design work and money—especially money—went into this project. Hundreds of thousands? Millions? (That's before the unforeseen additional expense of now having to hire a PR company to salvage something out of this whole mess.)

Za vashe zdorovye!

Niche marketing can be dicey business. Often times overzealous advertisers simply stick a rainbow flag on something and expect it to fly with the gays. Othertimes, as in this BMW advert, they hit the nail on the head. Boi From Troy spotted this genius ad in West Hollywood (where else) and we thought we'd pass it along to you.

Also, for you autophiles, NY Times has an article about gay cars today in which journo Alex Williams takes a closer look at such marketing tactics, such as Subaru's "It's not a choice. It's the way we're built". Clever, yes, but we still prefer the BMW ad. Now, if only we could afford one...

Germany's seen a stunning rise in new HIV infections. According to Deutsche Welle, there has been a 7.4% increase in new cases from 2005-2006. In an effort to curb the shocking rates, Wimbledon tennis pro Michael Stich has teamed up with advertising agency Jung von Matt to shock people out of their complacency.

Above you see a woman sucking a man's pistol dick. The accompanying caption reads: "Only 0.003 mm Latex lie between life and death." Another ad shows an appropriately aryan looking baby with this message: "The chin is from granddad. The eyes are from dad. The HIV is from mom." And yet another of the seven image series depicts a mother pushing a casket stroller and reads: "Just Like Its Mother. HIV positive".

The female-heavy adverts have caused a justifiable stir in Germany. While some people have lauded Stich's untraditional tactics, other people worry it singles out women as the cause of HIV. One Spiegel reader wrote: "Why is it the mother's fault that the child has AIDS?" Because of transmission through embryonic fluid, of course.

Despite the criticism, Stich and company insist they're hoping to everyone's eyes to the increasingly pressing problem. And they certainly have...

Wimbledon Star's AIDS Prevention Campaign Provokes [Spiegel]
New German HIV/AIDS Campaign Pushes the Envelope [Deutsche Welle]

Who says porn's a dead end job? Michael Lucas' star and potential clone, Ben Andrews and Falcon star Erik Rhodes have landed new modeling gigs. Some may think their cinematic good looks and gargantuan penises would send them straight for the swimsuit section, but the boys have signed up for a less seedy direction: Loehmann's.

That's right: the boys are topping off the discount retailer's new ad campaign, which envisions them in a variety of fantastical guises, like geeky office workers. It may seem like new territory for these two titillaters, but we're sure they're familiar with the campaign's tag-line: "Work It!" And they are. Mama must be so proud.

See more pics here.