• Larry Birkhead has passed the test. The DNA test, that is, meaning he's officially Dannielynn Smith's baby daddy. His trouble's aren't over, though: Anna Nicole's mama may contest custody. Hasn't this child been through enough?

• Kabaddi: the gayest non-gay sport ever. Well, only for Westerners.

• Gays and anti-gays converge at Oregon's House to fight for gay marriage and against gay marriage, respectively.

• Girls Transsexual Twins on film!

• Gays are taking over straight bars! Social experiment or end of the world? You be the judge. No seriously, ABC literally has a poll: "Should Gay Patrons Go To Straight Bars?" Tomorrow: "Should blacks and whites drink from the same water fountain?"

• First Elizabeth Hurley and new hubby Arun Nayar get disowned by his grumpy parents, now they may face jail time? Some honeymoon...

• Free oxygen's for chumps. You should totally start spending your hard earned dough on bottled oxygen. Now that's fresh.

• Anna Nicole Smith's one-time designer, Bobby Trendy has once again proven that he's got the intellect of a four-year old girl and the ego of a male model. Too bad he doesn't look like one. Nor, sadly, does the Bratz doll he molded in his horrific image.

• If movie stars have an entourage, what do porn stars have? A Porntourage, of course.

• More non-gay gay fun with 300!

• Introduction the Thames Valley Gay Police Association! Mission: combat homophobia, improve copper's homo-relations and fight queer injustice with a wooden club.

• Angelina Jolie's newest baby, Pax either looks like a little terror or a little prince, we can't tell.

• A group of Colorado gay activists are looking to combat the recent rise in anti-gay violence with a whole new day: Safe Day! We feel more secure already.

• Randy Boyd took Colts coach Tony Dungy's anti-gay remarks at last night's Indiana Family Institute dinner very personally. A taste: "Imagine being told by society (once again) that you and your dreams are worthless on one hand, and worth suppressing and destroying on the other." We'd say, if our dreams are so worthless, than why's everybody always picking on them. Then we'd say, "Oh, right, because they're douche bags."

Twenty days after her untimely death, it seems we finally have some answers on what actually killed Anna Nicole Smith - and it wasn't all the drugs Howard K. Stern fed her, although they apparently didn't help. The new issue of the super tabbie, The National Enquirer reports:

...Preliminary findings reveal that tests performed during the autopsy show Anna Nicole had a severe case of pneumonia. Prescription drugs that she had taken made the condition worse and did play a role in her death. The full toxicology report has not yet been completed.

Sources very close to the death investigation told The Enquirer that the prescription drugs masked the seriousness of her pneumonia.

Hmmm, while we're glad to hear that no foul play was involved, we're a little disappointed Anna Nicole had to go down like that. All that phlegm and shit - not very glamorous. But, now that the mystery's allegedly solved, maybe poor Smith can finally be put in the ground and get some peace. As for the rest of us, no doubt we'll still have to deal with the deluge of dramatic interviews and ink-seeking urchins. Maybe we should try to get some pneumonia ourselves...

In other Anna Nicole ink-seeker news, Bobby Trendy's reared his lacquered head yet again, popping up this time on Court TV. Like so many of his publicity-ready peers, Trendy has some harsh words for Howard K. Stern:

He just isolated everyone around Anna Nicole Smith that seemed to have a mind of their own, including myself. He tried to keep me away from those television cameras and her, but it didn't work out, because I was on that entire show. He didn't want [people] around who would become friendly or close with Anna, but he certainly couldn't get rid of me.

When the legal hawk-eyes of Court TV recall Trendy's Anna Nicole Show-transmitted, pillow-fueled falling out with Smith, Trendy again point the finger at Stern. If Stern were as evil as Trendy says, they ask, how did he get so close to Smith? Trendy's reply? "He just weaseled on in."

With all these rats in poor Smith's life, perhaps she died of the plague.

We've included the complete video after the jump, but we've gotta give a shout out to virtual matter for sending it our way. Although, seeing Trendy's inhuman mug first thing this morning may have done irreparable damage. v.m. may be hearing from our lawyer. As for you guys, we sure hope you didn't just eat lunch...

CONTINUED »

Anna Nicole Smith may have liked her men, but let's not forget she got down with the ladies. And one lady, Sandi Powledge, says that she and the late bomb shell had an affair to remember.

It all started way back in the 20th century - in 1991, to be exact - when fate brought them together at a Texas gay bar. From that moment on, Powledge says, the women became inseparable: going on dates, dyking it up and falling in love: the thing Powledge (and others) say Smith wanted most, "She was just hungry for love, hungry for approval — just like a bucket with a hole in the bottom." Funny, we think she's been described that way before, only in a different context.

CONTINUED »

We're sorry to even give interior decorator and long-time faggot Bobby Trendy more press than he deserves (which is none), but we can't resist passing along his classy words with regard to his former employer/meal ticket Anna Nicole Smith's untimely passing:

Thank Anna for making me famous. When you think of Anna, think of red, white and pink hearts. She was love as she taught love. She was the breadwinner and supported four people by baring her breasts and genitals for men and women. She was an entertainer who will be missed.

Um, right. We're not sure "famous" is the right word. Although, we're not sure there's a single word that can successfully summarize your particular brand of homo horror.

So, we're just going to go with an old favorite, "putz" and move on with our lives. We suggest you do the same.

Our friend David from Pretty on the Outside sent us his Valentine's Day rendition of Anna Nicole's "husband", Howard K. Stern. While we don't know if he had any direct involvement in her untimely departure, we're pretty sure his bottomless pit of prescription pills didn't help her, either.

Here's what he had to say about Anna Nicole's will:

Because Dannielynn wasn't here, everything went to Daniel. But, now Daniel's gone and Dannielynn is an only child, everything goes to Dannielynn. I am named executor in that will, and I was also appointed or named as Daniel's guardian in that will.

This man gives new meaning to the word "shady". He also gives new meaning to "sleazy", "scummy" and "despicable".

• Moscow's mayor may have banned gay pride, but the Russian government supports the queer right to assemble.

• Gay rights activists may have cheered Italy's potential civil partnership law, but Pope Benedict XVI ain't feeling so cheery. (Surprise, surprise.)

• Potential GOP Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee may not want to comment on Mary Cheney's pregnancy, but he does say he doesn't support gay marriage.

• Scissor Sisters may be uber-talented, but it doesn't really translate on their second Passions appearance. (Or the first.)

• Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead may think they're Dannielynn Marshall Stern's papas, but Zsa Zsa Gabor's hubby, Prince Frederick von Anhalt says he's the real deal.

• The Red Cross may ban men who have sex with men from donating blood, but Cleveland officials think they're wrong.

As we continue to reel from Anna Nicole Smith's shocking death, we thought we'd head over to Rosie O'Donnell's blog to see what she has to say about the matter. Why Rosie? Because on yesterday's The View, she fumed, "If I have to see Anna Nicole on the television one more time," before trailing off, according to Page Six. So, we figured there'd be some sort of mention. And we were right:

CLAIM: SMITH CHOKED ON HER OWN VOMIT…
CBS: Investigators found illegal narcotics, prescription meds in room…
Mother Blames Drugs…
Lawyer vows no DNA sample…
Battle Over $1.6 Billion Fortune Brewing…
Autopsy to Be Performed…
She Died Like Marilyn…
Timeline…
Final Footage Sells for Over $500,000…
*VIDEO…
Rosie Rants On Anna Nicole — Hours Before Her Death…

LOOSE CHANGE

How clever! Rosie used news bytes to eulogize the woman you just blasted for being in the news.

A lot of you guys got a little angry with us for yesterday's Anna Nicole themed Happy Endings. Rest assured, we didn't mean to offend - it was actually in honor of her and we like to think she'd appreciate it. But, to make up for that, we dedicate this video of Nick Drake's "When The Day is Done" to her.

Like Ms. Smith, Drake died too early, the victim of an apparent overdose at the tender age of 26. While he may not have left as big of a mark as Smith, Drake's oft-referenced as one of music's greatest talents, an honor he earned from his three gorgeous albums: Five Leaves Left, Pink Moon and Bryter Layter. This track comes from the first, which dropped way back in 1969, two years after Anna Nicole's birth.

• Kids these days! More and more kids are coming out during their teenage years. We wonder if Anna Nicole's freshly orphaned daughter will be a little baby dyke...

• John Edwards grew a back bone and will not be firing the "pro-gay" bloggers. Of course, his actions won't bring back our Anna Nicole...

• AIDS activist Victor Mooney plans on rowing across the Atlantic to raise awareness of the devastating disease. Anna Nicole would certainly approve.

• So that's what Clint Eastwood has to say about Anna Nicole Smith (notice he doesn't know her name).

• If Anna Nicole were a man (and alive), she'd definitely want to read JC Report's Menswear Issue.

• Evangelical Reverend Bradley Schmeling has been defrocked after revealing he has a gay lover. Anna Nicole would not approve (of the defrocking, not the faggotry).

• Hamas and Fatah have come to a mutual understanding - Anna Nicole just got her wings...

A mere 39 years into a dramatic life, Anna Nicole Smith has died. CNN reports:

Reality TV star and former model Anna Nicole Smith was pronounced dead Thursday after being taken to a Florida hospital, a law enforcement source told CNN.

Smith, 39, collapsed at a south Florida hotel, according to news reports.

"I can confirm that she is deceased. It's as shocking to me as to you guys," Smith's attorney, Ronald Rale, told Reuters. "I don't know anything further. [Her lawyer and husband] Howard [K. Stern], obviously, is speechless and grieving."

Smith's nurse called Seminole Hard Rock Hotel workers at 1:38 p.m. and security went to the room, hotel officials told Reuters. Fire rescue workers arrived within minutes, and Smith was taken to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood at 2:10 p.m

We're sincerely sorry to hear about this - no, really, we mean that. In some bizarre way, Anna Nicole was America's Diana. Only on pills...

We only hope it's not drugs or murder...both of which seem to be the most likely, unfortunately...