Australian race car driver and television host Grant Denyer got reamed after making a racialist joke on the radio earlier this week. Sitting down for a morning chat, Denyer compared his post-Logie (the Australian television awards) hangover to having sex with a black man: "So it was a big old day … let me say I'm feeling like I had sex with a black man right now.” The Dancing With The Stars winner and former weatherman went on to joke, "I'll be the host who looks like he's been riding a horse for a week.” We don't know what kind of booze Denyer guzzled, but it must have been strong to affect his anus in such a way.

We may jest, but some gay activists have some pretty twisted panties. Simon Biber chided Denyer, insisting his words perpetuate racist stereotypes:

It's homophobic but the racial slur is more serious, appealing as it does to a stereotype. It's harmful, but unfortunately it's not uncommon.

Denyer has since apologized for the remark, saying, "Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn't go out to offend. It was a wobbly joke, made way too early in the morning." Had it been the afternoon - well, that'd be a different story.

Grant Denyer apologies for gay black sex comment [Generation Q]
Denyer sorry for black sex gag [National Nine News]

A Pakistani man has been denied refugee status in Australia after officials doubted his sexual orientation.

Ali Humayun first arrived in Australia back in 2000 to study information technology. As cash ran short, Humayun took a job - a violation of his bridging visa. When authorities caught him, they stuck him in the Villawood detention center, where he started dating a man. Pleading his case, Humayun - who converted to Christianity in 2001 and also identifies as gay - told Australian officials that he faces severe consequences if deported back to Pakistan:

I'm worried for my life if I am deported home. The men in my family, they are really fundamentalist types. Muslims. My lifestyle is totally in contrast to what they believe.

Tribunal official Giles Short, however, found Humayun's "lifestyle" to be fraudulent:

The applicant was not in fact bisexual … [his relationship] was simply the product of the situation where only partners of the same sex were available and said nothing about his sexual orientation.

Short also dismissed Humayun's plans to marry his lover, who has just been granted asylum. Speaking to the court, Short called Humayan's wedding bell dreams "a contrived attempt to make their relationship appear more serious". With no other option, Humayun's now writing to Australia's Minister of Immigration for an appeal. Good luck on that one.

Bisexuality a result of detention, detainee told [Brisbane Times]
Bisexuality a result of detention, detainee told [Sydney Morning Herald]

On the left: John Howard. He doesn't know what all the fuss about HIV and AIDS is about—in Australia, anyway. The Prime Minister's solution is so simple we wonder why we didn't think of it first: ban anyone with HIV or AIDS from immigrating to the country! We're surprised he didn't go one farther and offer to eradicate the disease altogether. Think of how much the health care industry would save annually!

On the right: "Tim D," who wrote the story. We hate to break it to the P.M., but if he's an example of your typical Aussie, then there's nothing Australia can do to stop HIV-positive or HIV-negative gay men from immigrating to Australia. Uh-uh!

John Howard: HIV Not Welcome in Australia [SameSame]

Australian Prime Minister John Howard's not known for his progressive politics and certainly not when it comes to HIV positive persons. The curmudgeonly politico told a radio audience that he'd like to bar such people from immigrating to his former penal colony of a country:

My initial reaction is no [they should not be allowed in]. There may be some humanitarian considerations that could temper that in certain cases but prima facie – no.

Current law requires all immigrants to get the potentially life saving test, although their status does not hinder their visa status. If Howard gets his way, however, the country will legally prohibit their entry. Perhaps he feels that have their hands full - there are two cases in which HIV positive men are accused of knowingly infecting others with the nasty retrovirus: Stuart McDonald and Michael John Neal.

John Howard: HIV Not Welcome in Australia [Same Same]

Australia's health officials are also under the gun this morning. They're accused of incompetence after failing to track and restrain an HIV positive man named Stuart McDonald. McDonald allegedly used Gaydar to find partners and then knowingly infecting them with HIV. Witnesses in the case claim that when asked about infecting other men, he carelessly replied, "that's their problem". Charming.

Speaking to reporters, Health Minister John Hill defended his and his department's actions. Not only did they not here about McDonald until March 16th, they were told not to blow up McDonald's spot - such an action may have spurred him to flee into the night. Hill insisted:

I think the public has a right to be protected from somebody who's recklessly endangering lives by spreading HIV/AIDS and so as soon as I heard, we took action.

I don't know when his behavior accelerated to the state where there were concerns. That's what we need to establish.

Officials are also trying to determine if McDonald himself infected twelve men or if he infected one who went on to infect others.

This is the second such case in so many weeks: Michael John Neal's on trial for knowingly infecting sexual partners with the nasty retrovirus. And, as in the McDonald case, health officials have been criticized for inaction. It seems to us that people are point their fingers unnecessarily. Health officials are people, not gods. The only way to effectively track all HIV patients would be to have a massive register, electronic tags or round 'em all up in a camp, none of which seem realistic. Or particularly legal.

HIV+ man detained for reckless transmission [Pink News UK]

• 80s Porn Stars! Dancing! Action! Campy Hollywood Video Remix! Watch It! (Although, may not be best for work.)

• Doug Burns, the 43-year musclebound Mr. Natural Universe allegedly went on a movie theater rampage and allegedly had to be wrestled to the ground by four cops. The cause: he allegedly started a new diabetes medicine. And we're allegedly suspicious. Oh, wait, no, we're actually suspicious.

• California's gay activists are not fucking around: they told the Supreme Court, not lawmakers, to settle the Constitutionally controversial issue of gay marriage. Or else...

• Australia's gay celebrity star-cum-model-cum-dancer, David Graham wants to become a politician. Too bad his political parties isn't getting off on the idea.

• Family honor: Keith Richards mixed his father's ashes with some cocaine and called it a party. Us? We shot our grandfather between the toes. He would have wanted it that way.

• Ahhhh! Hurricanes, hurricanes everywhere!

The blame game continues down in Australia, where 48-year old Michael John Neal stands accused of intentionally infecting sex partners with HIV. Sixteen men testified to having unprotected anal sex with Neal after his infection, implying that he knew what he was doing. For his part, Neal claims a doctor told him his contagion levels were low risk.

Now, a number of the men involved are pointing their fingers not at Neal, nor themselves, but at health officials. They claim authorities knew of Neal's plans at least four years ago and yet did nothing to stop him. Attorney Bernard Murphy insists:

Our clients consider that the inaction of the Department of Human Services was negligent.

The Health Act charges the Department of Human Services with important public health responsibilities and I am not persuaded that they have got the balance right between protecting the individual and protecting public health.

We are closely reviewing section 121 of the Health Act and various authorities to ascertain whether any litigation on behalf of our clients is possible.

Now, there are two issues to consider here. First, a patients right to privacy. Do health officials have the right to tip off police for potentially reckless behavior? From what we understand of Australian law - which isn't really that much - an individual must be informed before private details are disclosed. This leads to the second question: if officials think an infected person will put others at risk, how can they stop him or her without their consent to release the information. If taken to the extreme - a big if, mind you - it could lead to scapegoating and a general climate of fear. Take that to the extreme and you have a big old, unjust mess.

Health officials may face HIV suit [The Australian]

We've all heard of racial profiling, but gay profiling? That's what seems to be happening down Australian way, where at least five men were arrested prior to boarding the nation's first all gay cruise. Hundreds lined up outside the ridiculously named NaviGAYtion Cruise to have a little fun on the high seas.

Not surprisingly, a few of them wants to be high while doing so. Coppers, however, put an end to their mischief, walking down the line with drug dogs and sniffing out the party-drug taking party goers. And it's no coincidence. Aussie police have made no secret that they will continue to patrol pansies based on “risk assessment and intelligence”. Sergeant John Cox remarks:

Police will continue to conduct similar operations based on information we gather and we will continue to arrest and charge any person in possession of illicit drugs.

Sure, it makes sense authorities would try to squash the sissie's drug use, but does that make it right, readers? Just because gay men may have drugs on them, is it wrong for coppers to assume gays are getting high and, thus, target gay men? Or are they just making an ass out of you, me and, most of all, them? What say you?

[Update: There seems to be some confusion in what we're asking here. We're not asking whether or not the men should be arrested for having illegal drugs. The obvious answer is "yes". Our inquiry revolves around whether or not it's right for cops to assume gay people always have drugs on them. It's related, as mentioned, to the larger issue of racial profiling, which the ACLU defines as "any police or private security practice in which a person is treated as a suspect because of his or her race, ethnicity, nationality or religion". To target someone based on their race - or, in this case, sexual orientation - is clearly discriminatory. No, the cops didn't say they're only targeting gay people, but to have them lining up the gays to sniff them out sounds a bit suspect. But, that's just us. More input, readers?]

First All-Gay Cruise Marred By Drug Bust [Same Same]

It may be from 2003, but this video from Australia's satirical news show, Chaser Non-Stop News Network still packs a punch - and a laugh.

Watch as the boys take the piss out of Anglican Archbishop Peter Jensen by citing irreverent, archaic passages from the so-called "Good Book", including Leviticus 21, which says people with eye defects cannot take the communion. Obviously a sport, four-eyed Jensen laughs it off and congratulates the journo for his research...and good looks.

Why must Tuesday drag so?! We imagine you kids are feeling it, too. So, let's all take a little second to listen to Australian aural collective Architecture in Hellsinki's "Do The Whirlwind" from 2005's In Case We Die.

You'll feel better within ten seconds of hitting play. And if not ten, then twenty-six. Guaranteed. If you don't feel better by then, you're dead.

Just weeks after being accidentally outed by a radio host, Australian Idol runner up and acclaimed songster Anthony Callea has finally fessed up to being a homo.

Callea originally refused to discuss his oft-questioned sexuality, but now he tells Australia's Herald Sun:

Yes, I am gay... I have no issue with my sexuality now, but it's taken time to become confident with who I am and happy with who I am.

I'm looking forward to living a life with no barriers and not having to worry about saying the right thing.

Like so many fagalas, Callea battled his own inner demons before coming out and confessed to years of depression at the hands of his double life. And, like other pop-stars, he feared being labeled a "gay" talent: a mark many view as a celebrity stigma. Echoing Mika's recent remarks, Callea says:

I'm not ashamed of being gay, but it's not in my nature to go out and promote it
...
I want to be known as a singer and as a performer. This shouldn't change anything. I'm happy to be judged on my music, but I don't think it's right to judge people on their sexuality or their religion or their race or anything.

To that end, Callea maintains that though he's happy with his boyfriend, Paul, he's not about to dish the dirty details.

Shame. We need more smut in our lives.

Anthony Callea gay and proud [Herald Sun]

Sexual predator or innocent victim? Those are just two of the labels an Australian jury will have to pin on 48-year old Michael John Neal: the man accused of intentionally infecting at least two sexual partners with HIV.

One of Neal's former lovers claims the idea that Neal went out of his way to spread the virus amounts to nothing but "malicious gossip". Another, however, insists Neal knew what he was doing. The witness, however, did nothing to stop it. Certainly a tough case. One thing's for sure - everyone involved needs to get their heads checked.

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