Holy shit!! That's totally Clay Aiken! And he totally doesn't look like some horrible monster from tranny hell! Wait, is the world still spinning?

The silly bugs over at Best Week Ever have asked their derelict readers to caption this picture of the aforementioned Clay Aiken. To be more specific, they want some pithy remarks on his style. We didn't submit any suggestions, because, well, we're lazy. We do, however, appreciate this particular comment - please allow a preemptive [sic]:

How many bags does one closet ghey dude need for an incognito hook up?

I bet one bag is filled with condoms and towels and the other if filled with sorted diguises and costumes…

Although, now that we think about it, we're not sure we want to tango with someone who spells gay in such a nonsensical manner. Seriously, it's possibly one of the most common words in the English language! And it's only three letters. Sheesh.

• The New York Blade sounds off about people sounding off about Amanda Lepore's appearance at the HRC NYC dinner.

• The kids at BWE offer their view on former The View host Meredith Vieira's Diane Saywer lesbian fantasy fueled appearance on the Daily Show.

• The Feds have launched a search for Lou Pearlman, the man who helped launch N'Sync.

• The Concerned Women of America are concerned that Tim Hardaway's comments about hating gays will detract their gay hating movement, which uses love to hate. It's very progressive.

• Congress ain't down with Bush's plans to have troops down on the ground down in Iraq.

• We were supposed to post these pictures of the Jimmy Im-endorsed, Svedka/Queerty-sponsored, eastern bloc-housed, Wednesday-nighted party, Good Times, yesterday. Unfortunately, we got all sorts of thrown off by Tim Hardaway and that whole mess. So we're posting them now, in lieu of Queerty ReBUTTal, after the jump. Now featuring a special Mad Libs section!

[Read On ...]

Ug, that last story really brought us down. Luckily, we have the perfect pick-me-up (no, not cocaine): Greg Scarnici.

Remember good ol' Greg? No? Well, he's the genius who brought us the parodic Beyonce video that scored him a spot on VH1's Best Week Ever (actually, if we remember correctly, he had the best week ever according to those sarcastic scamps).

Anyway, this new offering lampoons Madonna's ever-evolving look, sound and scandals. Do yourself a favor and have a laugh. You know you need it.

For more of Scarnici's demented videos, check out his website

We don't like murder. It's an injustice of morality and makes us sad. Thus, we weren't feeling so hot after that John Canora story (one-down, honey). For a bit of a boost, we surfed on over to our foolish friends over Best Week Ever, because they have a post about comedic musical duo, Stuckey and Murray's new music video, "Mark Foley, Holy Moley".

We'd love to post the video, but we can't do everything for you lazy butts (plus they haven't the code yet). We can say, however, that it involves a singing, guitar-strumming Mark Foley and teenage page, loads of booze and insanely obvious (yet just as funny) rhymes. Plus, quotes from his infamous im conversations. What could be better?

In honor of the pretend Mark Foley's new career as musical performer, we've reposted the just as infamous (okay, not really...but it should be) picture of the real Mark Foley with Kelly Clarkson. If you don't remember what we said, click here for a blast from the sarcastic past!

We could be totally behind the ball on this one. And if you’ve seen it, then please forgive us. But we were just sent this clip from our buddy Tom. It’s Tom Cruise on Oprah.

Only this time, she gets it right. Major Giggle.

Tom Cruise on Oprah: The Way It Should've Been [Best Week Ever Blog]