Online dating service eHarmony isn't taking Chemisty.com's advertorial attacks lying down. The company - which got its start under James Dobson's Bible-thumping thumb - has hired famed lawyer Lanny J. Davis - who helped Clinton during that whole Lewisnky blow job brouhaha.

In an effort to save his client's hide, Davis has asked NBC and People to stop running Chemistry.com's adverts, which highlight eHarmony's irrational, allegedly discriminatory practices.

As you may recall, one commercial features a man saying eHarmony rejected his application because he's gay.

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Laura Bush has many, many talents. She doesn't speak when spoken to, she is obviously fertile (twins!) and she can sing like a trash-talking, dirty-mouthed, sex-crazed Texan whore. Alright, it's not really Laura Bush.

It's comedienne Mandy Steckelberg dressed as our beloved first lady. Watch what happens when a reporter gets a little too investigative. It's not quite as explicit as Sandra Bauleo's semen-soaked single, but Steckelberg definitely got inside Bush's head.

C'mon, can't you imagine Mrs. Bush the Second breaking into a patriotic, propaganda filled country diddy? No? Well, give the video a twirl and you'll know what it sort-of-looks/sounds like...

(Oh, and the Clintons make a cameo. Big stars up in this piece.)

Yet another high-ranking ex-government official's come out against Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Discussing former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili's Don't Ask-related op-ed, former Secretary of Defense William Cohen urged Congress to revisit what he called a "policy of discrimination". The statements may come as a surprise to some, for Cohen's a known Republican and served under Clinton, the very president who initiated the controversial rules.

Speaking with CNN's Wolf Blitzer, Cohen said:

I think what we're hearing from within the military is what we're hearing from within society, that we're becoming a much more
open, tolerant society for diverse opinions and orientation...

He went on to urge incoming Senate Armed Services Committee Chairman Carl Levin to seriously broach the matter with the new Congress.

With regard to Cohen's statements, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network C. Dixon Osburn said:

The dominos propping up 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' are falling, and they are
falling quickly... It is clear that prominent military leaders question the wisdom of maintaining the ban. As three service members continue to lose their jobs every day, our armed forces are experiencing a significant talent drain. Those who know our military best now realize that the ban is not only unjust, but also unproductive.

For reals, for reals. Plus, gays are great for morale. Who doesn't like a little camp in the morning?

Describing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" as a political "speed-bump", former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff John Shalikashvili has penned a NY Times op-ed calling for the repeal of the discriminatory policy.

A key figure in implementing the controversial law, Shalikashvili defends his (and former President Clinton's) as pragmatic, an effort to suppress overwhelming public opinion while making a moderate move forward. He writes:

In the early 1990s, large numbers of military personnel were opposed to letting openly gay men and lesbians serve. President Bill Clinton, who promised to lift the ban during his campaign, was overwhelmed by the strength of the opposition, which threatened to overturn any executive action he might take. The compromise that came to be known as “don’t ask, don’t tell” was thus a useful speed bump that allowed temperatures to cool for a period of time while the culture continued to evolve.

Um, right...sounds like a bit of a cop-out to us, but whatever.

Shalikashvili goes on to cite new evidence that more military officials support gays in the military and urges the new Congress to act swiftly and decisively in cleaning up the mess he once supported. Coming on the heels of Marty Meehan's declaration of pro-gay fighter intent, Shalikashvili's op-ed will undoutbedly fan more flames. Let's just hope they don't burn the bridge.

While we certainly appreciate Shalikashvili's message, one can't help but wonder how much of it comes from altruistic concern for equal rights and how much springs from the fact that we're entirely understaffed. Sure, fighting for gay rights is all well and good, but we mustn't forget the possibility that the military's looking for more dispensible bodies. Perhaps the most dispensible bodies of them all...

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For today's installment of The Boundaries Issue, we'd like to open the floor to Mr. Lane Hudson. As we're sure you're all aware, Hudson's the once-mysterious Human Rights Campaign employee who lost his job after posting Mark Foley's naughty messages to Congressional pages. Those messages, of course, cost Foley his job, among other things.

After the jump see what Hudson has to say about breaking political boundaries, American heroes and former President Bill Clinton. In true Hudson style, his words will undoubtedly elicit a reaction.

And don't forget to check out Hudson's blog: News for The Left.

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• The UK held their first same-sex civil unions today with two women being the first to take the plunge. Let's hope these history-making lezzies fair better than their American counterparts. [BBC]

• Our own boss man, David Hauslaib, has gone and landed himself on the 100 people of the year list in USA Today’s Popcandy. We feel a more deserving spot would have been on Out’s 100 list. [USA Today]

• We're still pretty weirded out by the fact that Elton John and Bill Clinton are friends. [The Mirror]

• The Ft. Lauderdale police department is looking to recruit more gays. Start in South Beach. [Sun Sentinel]

• Never ones to feel adequate unless boycotting a company that supports equal rights, the AFA turns against one of their own: Wal-mart. [The Morning News]

In one fell swoop, the Guanzhou Rubber Group in Southern China put itself on the map by marketing Clinton and Lewinsky condoms. A company spokesman said: “The names we chose are symbols of people who are responsible and dedicated to their jobs.” Would that be dedicated to their blow jobs? The release of the condoms comes among swirling rumors that if Monica were a drag queen, people would think she looked too masculine.

The Chinese, of course, are reminding us of our own glorious history. What makes a president impeachable? Not starting an unnecessary war. Not rampant cronyism. Not proposing a constitutional amendment to trample the rights of gays. No sireee! What makes a president impeachable is a juicy mamada with a juicy mamita intern.

Those of you who want to go as Bill and Monica on Halloween need not despair. Slickwillycondoms.com claims to have a supply of Clinton and Lewinsky rubbers on hand. According to Guanzhou, the Clinton model is top of the line and Lewinsky is a lesser order of thing. Talk about prophylactics imitating life!

• We're drooling over the Sun's rave review of Madonna's new album. November 14 can't get here fast enough. And we just found out she is on Letterman tonight too!

• We're not done with her just yet. Some no-name publicity-seeking "artist" is suing Madge for stealing her music. This might actually explain American Life. (Last Item)

• A Massachusetts father is fuming that homosexuality is being taught to his son at school, going so far as to complain in person. We only wish our parents had felt this strongly about math.

• All of you Bay Area fags who bought tickets to this weekend's live performance of the ultra-cool Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode are out of luck. It's been canceled. Seems like a little bitch named Copyright got in the way.

• We're not voting Hilary for President in 2008, we're voting Bill for First Lady.