



Michael Lucas knows you want to know every detail of his day. That's why the ageless porn mogul posted a very special rundown of his actions on May 8th, 2007. It's a pretty typical day. Lucas has breakfast with his boyfriend, runs his highly successful business and chats with a lovely German mag, EreXXXion. Nothing spectacular.
Until around the five o'clock mark. That's when things got heavy...
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Lane Hudson made history when he blew Mark Foley's page loving lid. The Florida Congressman resigned and revealed his homo ways. The Republican party fell over itself trying to cover-up a cover-up. And the nation enrolled in collective therapy after reading Foley's incriminating, cringe-worthy instant messages with under age boys. The virtual smoking gun.
No doubt the entire debacle would never have gone down had it not been for the internet and, of course, blogs. You may remember the whole drama started when Hudson posted those IMs on his anonymous blog, StopSexPredators. But Hudson's just some gay dude, right? Right. Hudson proved himself to be a formidable political operative, all with the click of a mouse.
We know we don't need to tell you blogs are more powerful than anyone ever imagined. And, as Hudson writes for AlterNet, they ain't going nowhere:
The blogosphere is a living breathing medium, responding to the input it receives from the public and its readers. Jump into the blogosphere and make your voice heard.You know what they say: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Looks like we're here to stay, homies, so take a little ride with us. We drive fast, but take our time on the curves, if you know what we mean... (Wait, what do we mean?)

What perfect timing! John Polly over at the Logo-backed (and, really, what isn't?) just sent us the link to his interview with Lily Allen, the British popster we referenced in that last post and one of the top ten girls we'd bone. (We bet she's a really tiger in bed.)
Polly doesn't go quite so far. What a gentleman. Like a good homo-journo, he asks a few gay-themed questions. Allen rebukes a lesbian fantasy question, but does address homo-popster Mika. Well sort of:
JP: A new artist who gay audiences here are freaking out about is Mika. Are you familiar with him?LA: Um, wait one second... [Lily talks to someone in the background for a minute. I hear, “Have they got cream cheese? Yeah, I’ll have that... Cinnamon.” The she laughs, and comes back.] Sorry, we’re getting a bagel order here. So what was the question?
JP: Mika is getting popular here, and I know he’s massive in the U.K. right now. Do you have an opinion about him?
LA: I haven’t heard much of his stuff. I’ve only heard the one song that’s on the radio in the U.K., which is called “Grace Kelly.” I like that; I think it’s all right.

It seems Catholic League President Bill Donohue's got a history of raising a public stink. Long before he terrorized "pro-gay" John Edwards bloggers Melissa McEwan and Amanda "Martyr" Marcotte, he got his kicks taking on another of the Church's greatest enemies: Lipton Onion Dip.
No, we're not shitting you. Apparently the company ran a print ad back in 2001 featuring a man lining up to Eucharist (you know, when people queque up for a bit of Jesus' blood and body) with a bowl full of instant mix. The implication, of course, is that the man's going to dip a bit of Jesus in his special sauce. Needless to say, this didn't sit well with the God-fearing Donohue. In a press release found by Firedoglake, Donohue and his coven wrote:
The Lipton ad is not poking gentle fun at Catholicism the way some other ads have. Rather, it is demeaning the Eucharist. And there is nothing more central to Catholicism than the belief that the Eucharist is the body and blood of Jesus Christ.Sure it may be a laugh, but ain't nothing funny about the effect of Donohue's holy war against Marcotte and McEwan.
Our old friend Lane Hudson informs us that the girls have found themselves on the receiving end of a number of not-so-veiled death threats. How not-so-veiled? How about this:
YOU RACIST WHORE. FAT UGLY BITCH. SUCK MY LONG COCK ASSHOLE I HOPE YOU KIDS NEVER LIVE AND YOUR PARENTS DIE A TRAGIC DEATH YOU ASSHOLE BITCH!That's not very Christian, now is it?
I HOPE YOUR WOMB IS BARREN AND YOUR CAREER PLUMMETS TO HELL YOU BITCH
If you're looking to raise a little stink yourself, Hudson's provided Donohue's contact information, here.
We don't know how they did it, but new blog on the block Can O' Whup-Ass somehow managed to get Rosie O'Donnell to contribute some of her patented poetics. You'll have to head over to read the whole thing, but we've been authorized to share a bit of her very special sapphics:
First things first: I'm sure you knowAlright, it's totally phony, but you've gotta admit they really captured her voice.
Things are rough on Rosie O
You've seen my reputation scarred
That movie where I played a 'tard
The magazine of mine that tanked
My broadway show that stunk and sanked
Then that time I let it fly
That Clay's a sissy on the sly
After that I angered folks
With my chinky China jokes
Next the feud with Donald Trump
(I'd love to waste the pasty chump)
I ragged on Anna's lack o' charm
Hours before she bought the farm

It's a blessed day here at Queerty, for our very own Silly Monkey has finally found his/her true love: Silly Kitty.
We're sure you're wondering how that puerile primate landed such a pretty pussy, so we'll tell you...
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Less than a week after Catholic League president Bill Donohue called her an "anti-Catholic vulgar trash-talking bigot..." and Presidential hopeful John Edwards allowed her to keep her job, blogger Amanda Marcotte (pictured, blurry with too much lipstick) has resigned from the Edwards campaign.
It all started when Donohue and his cronies found some less-than-friendly comments about Catholics on Marcotte's personal blog. Standing on his politically motivated pulpit, Donohue demanded justice be served against Marcotte and another "pro-gay" blogger, Melissa McEwan. In addition to taking on the Catholic Church, Marcotte also aimed at the GOP voters, writing,
Voters who are motivated by misogyny, homophobia, and racism aren’t going to leave a racist, misogynist, homophobic party for one that is all those things but just less so.She's obviously a clever girl. CONTINUED »

• Kids these days! More and more kids are coming out during their teenage years. We wonder if Anna Nicole's freshly orphaned daughter will be a little baby dyke...
• John Edwards grew a back bone and will not be firing the "pro-gay" bloggers. Of course, his actions won't bring back our Anna Nicole...
• AIDS activist Victor Mooney plans on rowing across the Atlantic to raise awareness of the devastating disease. Anna Nicole would certainly approve.
• So that's what Clint Eastwood has to say about Anna Nicole Smith (notice he doesn't know her name).
• If Anna Nicole were a man (and alive), she'd definitely want to read JC Report's Menswear Issue.
• Evangelical Reverend Bradley Schmeling has been defrocked after revealing he has a gay lover. Anna Nicole would not approve (of the defrocking, not the faggotry).
• Hamas and Fatah have come to a mutual understanding - Anna Nicole just got her wings...

By now you've heard about the John Edwards blog scandal. You know, the one in which he caved to Catholic conservative pressure and fired two bloggers who had been called "anti-Catholic vulgar trash-talking bigots" for comments they made before working for the Edwards campaign.
But, there's another, gayer blog scandal in which you may have an interest...
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We were just paying a visit to our super crush Kenneth Hill's website, The Gayest Editor Ever and came across a somewhat disconcerting post entitled, "50 Gayest Things of All Time". At first we thought Hill had compiled a list of his favorite things. Boy were we wrong. The list comes from a website called The Phat Phree.
Alongside the list of "gay things", the chaps have included the so-called "The 50 Things That Make You Feel Like A Man". So, what makes them feel like men? Well, in addition to what you see above (thanks for the image, Mr. Hill), they include "Driving driving drunk to work, hurting someone by accident, killing an animal and getting a blowjob." Manly things, right? So, what's gay? Aside from what you see above, "Loving your father, safe sex, wearing a scarf, eye contact and handjobs".
Rest assured, however, the boys don't mean to offend. They offer a preemptive explanation:
Before anyone gets their rectum puckered, nobody around here hates homosexuals. We love gay people- well not love, but we don't dislike them any more than we dislike everyone else.Oh, yes, Pulitzer quality, even.
...
Besides, homosexuality is not at all what this list is about. Whether you smoke pole or munch rug, we all know that some things are just plain gay. If there were a better word, we'd use it. We are writers after all.
While were not necessarily offended, we do think they could have found another word. Although, if we are forced to adopt their terminology, yes, handjobs are "gay". Seriously, who really gives a handjob?
(Note: may we suggest next time the kids want to compile such a list, they choose a less provocative word? Perhaps it can be called "Things That Are Douchey"? Then they can include themselves.)


Heeding our call for your Youthful pictures, fellow blogger Jeremy Hooper of Good As You sent us this comparative study. On the left, you see Hooper circa 1985. Looks like a sweet kid. Then, on the right, you see a shot snapped last year. Notice the difference? Well, there's not much of one: still looks pretty sweet to us. Which makes us wonder, of course, what he's hiding? No doubt some deep dark dementia lies behind those pretty little eyes.

We don't know what possessed us - perhaps some sort of horrible demon - but we just took a trip to Rosie O'Donnell's blog and found something we'd like to share with you:
Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can’t see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself…soul-less and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.