• We have to give a huge thanks to reader Nathan, for he led us to this Marvel Comics-endorsed website where you can make your own super hero. It's fucking rad and you should go make one. Here's our first attempt: Ass Licker! And, yes, the exclamation mark's part of his name. You have to say it like that: "Ass Licker!" no matter what, even if you're whispering. His power: he licks ass, of course. We expect he'll have some friends soon. [heromachine]

• Speaking of heroes, Britney Spears apparently has three: her mama, her ex and her lawyer. We'd argue the third's the most powerful. [TMZ]

• Here's a heroic Hebrew: orthodox Rabbi Steve Greenberg. He's lent his voice to the great gay marriage debate. His argument revolves around the necessary distinction between civil matters and those of faith: "By denying the right to civil unions, states are in violation of civil rights..." [Emory]

• Yee-haw! It's time for the Gay Rodeo, y'all. [Dallas Morning News]

• Sounds like Kenneth Hill needs a trip to that there Gay Rodeo. He's getting all nostalgic for Brokeback. [QueerSighted]

• Meanwhile, Rupert Everett's hosting Sydney's Mardi Gras. Naked. Okay, not naked, but he's apparently at a loss at what to wear. Also, Also, he's got a new book out. Not sure if you've heard... [Sydney Morning Herald]

There's really only one word for this: stupid. Janice Scott-Blanton, the esteemed authoress of My Husband is on the Down Low and I Know About It, has filed a $250 million lawsuit against the makers of perhaps more esteemed gay movie, Brokeback Mountain.

It seems Scott-Blanton was having a sit-down, watching a little BM when she noticed some "eerie" similiarities between the Academy Award-winning film and her based on a true story book. She alleges there are more the 50. Of a few, BlackNews reports:

[A] stark similarity is exhibited after James' and Annette's ninth wedding anniversary, when Annette from Scott-Blanton's novel confronted James regarding his homosexual activity. James told her that he had purposely written a confession in his journal because he knew she had been secretly reading it; he did not know of any other way to tell her about his secret. This scene transpires in a kitchen setting. After Thanksgiving dinner, in the movie Brokeback Mountain, Alma confronts Ennis (her husband) regarding his homosexual activity. Alma told Ennis she had purposely written a note and put it on the end of his fishing line for him to find. This scene also transpires in a kitchen setting.

Shame on you, Brokeback Mountain makers! You had the ingenuity to adapt a movie from a 2005 book, travel back in time to 1997, get Annie Proulx to publish Brokeback Mountain in The New Yorker to cover your tracks, but you didn't think to change the scene setting? You should pay $500 million!

Although, you can't really blame Ang Lee and the rest for wanting to steak Scott-Blanton's page turner. Even the first few lines scream, "Take me as your own!":

The old cliche goes, "If only I'd known then what I know now". The cliche has been a part of my life for some time now. It has been like a bricks that's held me down for over ten years.

Like a ton of bricks, she says! Really grabs you, doesn't it?

(PS: Scott-Blanton also wrote Succulent Sex, which some believe was later adapted in The Passion of the Christ.)

Is it uncouth to go from a piece on a band called "White Town" to an article on the dearth of gay black characters on television? Probably, but oh well...

As you remember, earlier in the television season, GLAAD spilled much ink (and we probably loads of dough) on the lack of gay characters on network television. Now, Hikaru Freeman over at AfterElton is taking on the deficit of gay blacks in general.

While we think examinations of gays in media can be a bit tiresome, we're actually intrigued by this piece. Okay, maybe intrigued isn't the right word. Dare we say impressed?

Sure, it's the standard flair: gay black men are either flaming queers or sexless props, but we have to admit that Freeman's incorporated some pretty good voices into this study, including Keith Boykin and Rod McCollum.

While they're all well and good, perhaps the most notable comment comes from Steven Emmanuel of Queer Kid of Color:

Now that I think of it, how come all the white gay men I see are more masculine then our black gay brothers? Brokeback Mountain … was about two masculine, white men on the down low. Everyone thought Brokeback Mountain was a love story. I beg to differ. It was a gay cowboy love story. Gay in the sense that they were both gay, cowboy in the sense that they were both cowboys, love in the sense that they were both in love, and let's just throw in the words ‘down low' since they had female partners while being together. There's your gay cowboy love story. My point: The reaction to the film would have been different if it was two masculine black men who were closeted. It wouldn't have been a love story. It would have been a black gay love story about two men on the down low who play basketball.

We can't even imagine what GLAAD would do if Brokeback had been about two black guys. Undoubtedly they'd have said something, although we suspect they would have found a way to turn it into an argument about a lack of faggot crackers or something.

Anyway, check out the article and come on back, kiddies. You won't regret it. If you do...well, tough.

(Oh, and if anyone out there plans on writing a racist comment, keep it to yourself, thanks. We're not in the mood.)

We came across this article by Andy Horwitz (pictured, spreading the love) over at Nerve, the hornball online magazine. In it, Horwitz takes aim at a New York Times article by Katy Butler in which she dissects the so-called Brokeback marriage trend: that is, when gay men marry straight women in an attempt to cover up their sexuality.

Horwitz takes offense at Butler's depiction as men as villains. He writes:

The article revolves around a Lifetime Channel scenario, in which all women are victims of men — either consciously conniving men or men too weak or cowardly to know themselves.
It is also fundamentally sexist. You would never see such a story written about men who marry lesbians and the havoc that wreaks on their sense of masculinity, safety, commitment and trust.
Such articles enforce rigid codes of conventional American masculinity, envisioning non-traditional masculinity as a threat or trick.

While this may be true, Horwitz goes on to say:

Of course, women's sexual freedom is curtailed by the same impulse: it's simply not taken seriously — no real straight man would have a problem with a lesbian wife, he'd just invite the girlfriend over for a three-way!

Maybe we're just not following him, but wasn't he just railing against the perpetuation of socio-sexual stereotypes? Disparities aside, it's a pretty interesting article, particulary when he offers alternative conceptions of marriage.

Ch-ch-check it.

• "Abstinence only" could soon be the law of the land in Kansas. We are excited about this new law because it might mean that all the homophobic jerks in that state will not know how to reproduce if and when the time comes. [KAKE]

• " 'Brooming' was the name given for the practice of poking a camper, while clothed, in the area of the butt," says future teacher (and son of an Arizona state senator) Clifton Bennett, who is facing charges that he assaulted young boys with a broom handle. Why didn't these sorts of things happen when we went to summer camp? [Pink News]

•A prison guard in gay old Massachusetts was reprimanded for making his prisoners horny by showing them Brokeback Mountain. [365 Gay]

• Finally a black church person who doesn't hate the gays. [AP]

• Egypt has an astonishingly low HIV infection rate, but not because everyone is using condoms. Gays are afraid to get tested because their hospital records might be used against them in police raids, so the freely available tests are underutilized. [Pink News]

• Black voters are repeatedly duped by the Republican party's homophobic tactics, according to a new study. [365 Gay]

• You can now officially find gay sex inside of Walmart. The Brokeback Mountain DVD will be sold as planned despite protests from Christian groups. [LA Times]

• The community of family-friendly Crystal Lake, IL will allow the Gay Games to send its perverted, homosexual rowers to compete on their beloved body of water. [ABC7]

• Syphilis is on the rise in Chicago. Shall we issue an orange alert or can citizens smarten up and start playing safe? [The Advocate]

• More perverts in the Catholic Church, this time in Vermont. [Rutland Herald]

• The Playboy company may start creating gay content for television in the UK. This could mean Brits will be able to see two big, tan guys with no pubes pretending to hump each other on a show other than Big Brother. [The Times via GMW]

• The Roxy managed to escape the NYPD during a rash of drug-related shut-downs over the weekend that included Splash Bar, Spirit, and Avalon. [WNBC via Virtual Matter]

• Anti-gay Prime Minister of Australia John Howard says he is not anti-gay, he just thinks homosexuals should not have the same rights as straight people. [365 Gay]

• Brokeback Mountain is now banned in the Bahamas. The government cited "extreme homosexuality, nudity and profanity" as the reasons for the action. We agree that the movie was extremely homosexual, but where was the nudity? We definitely could have seen more of Jake. [Washington Blade]

(from Fish Drink Water)

Alright, America, it's time to move on. This has officially gone too far.

Labelling Brokeback Mountain as the "Great Gay Movie" of our time is perhaps a bit short-sighted, in respect to the huge quantity of queer cinema out there.

In an effort to wean society off Brokeback, we'd like to make some other recommendations, and celebrate the brilliant gay films that were hitting the silver screen long before Jack and Ennis were hitting it in a tent. Plan a film festival party, invite over some of your favorite gays, and perhaps pick one of these stellar recommendations from our personal libraries:

CONTINUED »

It seems to us that everyone in the world has seen Brokeback Mountain and will not stop talking about it. But really just everyone in our small, gay world has seen it, and the (straight) people who would perhaps benefit most from seeing it probably won't either because they are scared of it or because it would never occur to them.

For this reason we join Richard from PAYOR in challenging each and every one of you to give the gift Heath and Jake. In a few short days on April 4, the Brokeback Mountain DVD will be released. We ask that you buy a copy and give it to a friend or family member who has not yet seen the movie. This is a really easy and effective way to make people watch two men kissing (something they might never see otherwise), and not only like it, but maybe cry about it. For the price of a $20 DVD, we can actually make the world a better and safer place for homos.

No Straight Person Left Behind [PAYOR]

This is too good, we have to break our "no more Brokeback" rule: Randy Quaid, who played the part of "Joe Agguire" in Brokeback Mountain, is suing the film's producers for $10 million for fraud and misrepresentation, claiming he's not getting a fair share of its profits.

According to Quaid, when he met with Ang Lee about the film, Lee said the film was extremely low-budget and they couldn't "pay anything." Brokeback Mountain, of course, has already grossed $160 million in theaters.

The suit claims the producers "were engaged in a 'movie laundering' scheme designed to obtain the services of talent such as Randy Quaid on economically unfavorable art film terms."

(Keep reading after the jump:)

CONTINUED »

A "group" of Vermont activists were so taken by Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain that they want to actually name a mountain after the location where Ennis penetrated Jack. Since the original mountain was fictional (located in the Wyoming of Annie Proulx's imagination) and the film was shot in Canada, there really is no reason why Brokeback couldn't exist in Vermont, or really, anywhere else. The activists, led by the mysterious "John" are collecting e-signatures for their e-petition on their website, so go support "them" if you don't think "they" are totally nuts. Please note the use of quotations to indicate our doubt that anyone other than "John" is really on board.

Vermonter Starts Petition To Name Mountain 'Brokeback' [NBC10]
BrokeBackMountainVermont.com ["John"'s official website]

• Christians in Maine aren't happy with Brokeback Mountain. We never would have guessed. [WMTW]

• Turkey is showing Brokeback but not to those under 18 because it violates "public morals." At least it hasn't been banned. [NY Blade]

• David Beckham lookalike hooker (click for his profile) costs £500 UK a pop; gives fans a chance to Bend Him Like Beckham. [The Sun UK]

• Now that she's beaten off that super-bitch cancer, our fave lesbian rocker, Melissa Etheridge, will be recording new music and touring this summer. [Post Chronicle]

• Convicted criminal gets off with permanent erection. [Oh La La Paris]

• Iraqi leader wants the gays dead. Still. [365gay]