Perez Hilton's everywhere. Whether in GQ, on Good Morning America or on the web, there's no escape from the so-called "Queen of Media". It should come as no surprise, then, that Salon has scraped together a three-page piece on a man who's had a role in outing both Lance Bass and Neil Patrick Harris.

While the article revolves around the standards - whether or not Hilton's a true journalist, his right to out people and his undying quest for recognition - we're more intrigued by Bruce Vilanch's comment:

It's the same thing I said when Michelangelo Signorile was doing it: What purpose does it serve? These are professional homosexuals. They are gay people for a living. They have to respect the rights of homosexuals who aren't professional.

If somebody isn't going to willingly announce that they are a positive individual, with a positive outlook on life...why would we want to include them among us?

Because outing others gives you the means (and feckless reason) to be everywhere, of course. Of all the attention, Queerty's papa David Hauslaib says,

...He's in Details, or GQ or the L.A. Times, or now on Salon makes sense from a journalistic point of view because he is a story. Whether people are celebrating him is another question entirely.

What's your take, readers? Do you think Perez deserves to be praised for his actions or should he be sent out to the pasture, never to be seen or heard from again? Is he an actual story or just another gay troll who desperately wanted to make a name for himself?

• A group of uppity parents have their chastity belts in a bunch over a Rhode Island high school's field trip to see Rent because it "promotes homosexuality." Hey, West Side Story promotes heterosexuality (sort of) and you don't see us complaining.

• Stephen Bennett and his beard, er, wife, Irene, are at it again. She says she would give Brokeback Mountain “a 'thumbs down' for its message. Second, I give it an Oscar for the number one homosexual propaganda movie of the year." No word on which award she gave her hair. (Via Good As You)

• We spotted Bruce Vilanch (with some older guy) at the Grove this morning. No doubt he was on his way to check out Brokeback Mountain at the only LA-area theater you can catch the movie.

• Of all people, San Francisco cops are in trouble for recording videos that poke fun at African-Americans, women, and even trannies.

• Four Bulgarian athletes have been booted off their soccer team for participating in an orgy in the team's locker room, dispelling all doubt that Bel Ami videos are unrealistic.

• GE has a new print ad featuring a gay male couple for their high-end monogram line. Seeing as though we're the ones who either buy them or are responsible for putting them in chic kitchens, we think it couldn't be better. GE...You really do bring good things to life.

Bruce Vilanch recently took time from his busy schedule to chat with Bradford Shellhammer about the blogs he reads, the Bush administration, and this year’s Oscars. He also dishes on a few of our favorite divas.

Ok. Hi Bruce. We at Queerty love you. And we are sad we missed your show Almost Famous 2005 in San Francisco. What did we miss?

Full-frontal nudity. The first three rows had to move back.

You have so many projects lined up. Tell us about Queer Duck?

I play myself. It's a stretch. But it's never gotten in Jerry Seinfeld's way. This is a feature-length version of the cartoons that used to follow Queer as Folk on Showtime. They once had me pop in as a guest joke, and we all thought that this time I should do the voice instead of Mercedes McCambridge.

And Celebrity Fit Club! This is one of our guilty pleasures. We only wish you were on the same season at Jackee. How did this come about?

I think I can lay the blame at the feet of ant. Which is better than laying ants at the feet of, oh never mind. He recommended me and when they called they said we're hoping you can add some humor to the proceedings. Losing weight is such martyrdom that people give themselves over to their own drama. Maybe it's because they're deprived of the one thing that they could count on -- food. It's a pity party three times a day. So I'm trying to do it and have a few chuckles along the way.

After the jump Bruce talks about Bette, Whoopi, and Miss. Ross.

[Read On ...]

•Elijah Wood thinks it’s funny that people think he’s gay. He even names the site Elijah Wood is Very Very Gay as funny ha, not funny ha ha. For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, we present exhibit A.

•Chastity Bono and Bruce Vilanch are joining the latest installment of VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club, a.k.a. Watching Fat People Weigh Themselves on TV. The person seated below Bruce on Hollywood Squares is now breathing a sigh of relief.

•It seems the rumors are false. Lesbians aren’t as relationship savvy as we thought they were. Turns out they need pathetic self-help books just like the rest of us.

•Katrina is now affecting the transgendered community. Two tranny survivors were arrested for using the women’s shower at an evacuee shelter. I’m sure the bigger catastrophe was the clashing of their handcuffs and stilettos.

•There is a God. Both Kathy Griffin and Queer Eye guy Carson Kressley will be working the red carpet at this weekend’s Emmys. No word on what host Star Jones will be wearing, or how many babies she’ll devour beforehand.