This past Sunday, San Francisco celebrated the 96th year of the annual ING Bay to Breakers 12K, the largest foot race in the world. This means the streets were crowded with more than 100,000 visitors and locals who either ran or walked the route from Embarcadero Bay to—surprise— the Ocean Beach breakers!

Queerty correspondent Jimmy Im (the picture of professionalism) promptly made start time at 8 am and trekked 7.5 miles - in his record time: 3 hours and 50 minutes! - across the city, parading along ked-chugging trojan frat boys, gay smurfs, free balling old men and a shitload of dick-in-a-boxes!

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California may not allow gays to marry, but lawmakers will now allow gay prison inmates conjugal visits with their lovers. The move comes after the ACLU joined forces with a number of prisoners, including 40-year old ex-convict Vernon Foeller.

Foeller had been serving a 20-month sentence and wanted to see his lover. His lover, however, felt uncomfortable under the guard's glares, so he called the ACLU to get his back. The social defenders organized a hearing for last Wednesday, at which Foeller spoke:

I heard from a lot of people inside the prison who thought it was a step forward. People who are doing life terms, or even seven-to-life, can't get family visits, and they saw what I was doing as a step to roll that back.

The new rules will allow an estimated 170,000 inmates the opportunity to get their legal swerve on - ain't justice grand?

California prisons to allow gay family visits [The Advocate]

• From Chris Rico's new anti-gay basher site Try Love, Not Hate:

I was choking on blood face down on the ground before I even realized what was happening to me. As I struggled to crawl to my feet, I was greeted by thunderous kicks to my ribs and my temple and the venomous and inconceivable cry, “die fucking faggot.”

Sound familiar? Hopefully not, but probably so. Thousands of homos get bashed every year. Lend your voice (and face) to Rico's fight to fight anti-gay fighters. Maybe if we yell loud enough, President Bush will actually listen...

• Sotheby's has already raked in $280 million since January. Starving artist indeed.

• The "Get a Divorce" billboard got dumped.

• Gay meanie Steven Green remains in critical condition after getting hit by a car while walking to his Rolls Royce. Poor thing.

• Never, ever forget that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger used to pose naked for Robert Mapplethorpe.

• Al Sharpton versus Mitt Romney: may the biggest dickwad win, ride off into the sunset, take the loser and never be seen again. What a wonderful world that would be...

• Lance Bass got a job! As an intern! (That's what he gets for believing in Joey Fatone.)

Mark Howard Hicks has been sentenced to 40 years in prison for the 2005 killing his wife, Crystal Marie Hicks. The Visalia, California man apparently suspected Crystal of having an affair of the lesbianic variety. And as any irrational, senseless man would do, he casually walked into their shared living room, raised a gun and shot her in the head as their children roamed about another part of the house.

Before handing out the maximum sentence, Judge Gerald Sevier referred to Hicks' actions as a "cold, calculated killing." No doubt the jury had no trouble reaching a verdict, for moments after taking Crystal's life, Hicks called 911 and said, “I shot my wife ... because she was having an affair with another woman.” He may be a killer, but he's nothing if not honest. Although, we're sure his lawyer doesn't agree.

Hicks gets 40 years to life for murdering his wife [Porterville Recorder]

• 80s Porn Stars! Dancing! Action! Campy Hollywood Video Remix! Watch It! (Although, may not be best for work.)

• Doug Burns, the 43-year musclebound Mr. Natural Universe allegedly went on a movie theater rampage and allegedly had to be wrestled to the ground by four cops. The cause: he allegedly started a new diabetes medicine. And we're allegedly suspicious. Oh, wait, no, we're actually suspicious.

• California's gay activists are not fucking around: they told the Supreme Court, not lawmakers, to settle the Constitutionally controversial issue of gay marriage. Or else...

• Australia's gay celebrity star-cum-model-cum-dancer, David Graham wants to become a politician. Too bad his political parties isn't getting off on the idea.

• Family honor: Keith Richards mixed his father's ashes with some cocaine and called it a party. Us? We shot our grandfather between the toes. He would have wanted it that way.

• Ahhhh! Hurricanes, hurricanes everywhere!

Alright faggots of the marrying kind, we've got some bad news for you. You cannot - we repeat: cannot - celebrate your gay nups at Disney World in Florida. It's tragic, yes, but there's nothing we can do about it: gays can't legally marry in Florida and apparently Disney requires a valid marriage license before it will allow you to celebrate in its fantastical realm.

As the kids over at AfterElton point out, however, it shouldn't be an issue, because the family friendly company simply holds ceremonies and doesn't issue licenses. That said, a gay couple should be able to rent their space for their ceremony, legally binding or not.

California's Disney Land does allow domestic unions, but you can only celebrate in certain areas. No Rose Court Garden for you, just a tacky banquet hallor ballroom. So, is the mega company violating discrimination laws? While we're not lawyers, it certainly seems that way.

When asked for a statement, a Disney representative said:

The Walt Disney World Resort is open to everyone, every day. We extend our welcome to everyone and treat all of our guests with respect.

Are we the only ones who smell mouse shit?

All Charlene Pabro wanted was a little Jamba Juice. What she got was a whole lotta hate. Rather than putting the Rancho Cordova, California-based lesbian's name on her receipt, he put a four-letter epithet: "dyke".

Needless to say, Ms. Pabro's none-too-pleased. She tells a reporter CBS affiliate CW31:

It was one of those things that you just sit and you're like, 'Wow, the world can be that ignorant sometimes'... I paid for that, I gave them my money. And then this is what you get in return: a racist slur.

"Dyke" isn't racist, honey. It's gaycist.

On the story like a whore on the corner, the CW31 reporter attempts to interview the store's 16-year old manager, but Jamba corporate calls mid-conversation and cuts it short. Before the unceremonious silencing, the manager said, "We'll probably talk to him."

A statement from higher-ups later assured the reporter (and, by proxy, Pabro) that the employee has been sacked. They also said: "We are saddened and stunned to hear of the incident that occurred in one of our stores." The company's so distraught over the matter that the Jamba Juice CEO has pledged to call Ms. Pabro to apologize. No word yet whether that call has been made or not. One thing's for sure: Ms. Pabro got more than she bargained for...

Democratic Senator Senator Sheila Kuehl (D) (pictured) has put forward a bill that will prohibit California schools from discriminating against students based on their perceived sexuality and/or gender. The bill - SB 777 - comes about six months after Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed a like-minded bill, saying that California already had a bill that protected students. Kuehl and her allies, however, insist the old bill leaves too many bases uncovered and that this new effort will guarantee students a safe space. Kuelh notes:

This comprehensive legislation updates California’s education code in order to eliminate any confusion about the protections the law provides. Making sure that the nondiscrimination policies governing our publicly-funded schools and education programs are uniform provides our students the essential protections they need, and clearly sets out the state’s responsibility for ensuring fairness and safety for our youth.

As it stands, California's bill protects against sexual, racial, national and religious (among others) discrimination, but fails to mention sexuality and gender.

These additions, of course, have raised more than a few right-wing eyebrows.

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Here's a cool story faithful reader Alan brought to our attention: a Yolo County, California court clerk's protesting the state's ban on gay marriages by using Valentine's Day to issue "Licenses of Inequality". Straight mother of two Freddie Oakley told reporters she's doing it to "ease her soul" over enforcing discriminatory policies. Thus, she designed the certificates which read:

I issue this Certificate of Inequality to you because your choice of marriage partner displeases some people whose displeasure is, apparently, more important than principles of equality.

Genius!

Of course, not everyone's down with her unique protest. Campaign for Children and Families president, Randy Thomasson railed:

The people pay government officials to implement the law and to faithfully execute the law ... not to ridicule the law and perform stunts that advocate the overthrow of marriage.

Oh, blow it out your ass. You're just jealous you're not that clever. And, also, there's no calling for an overthrow of marriage. Just some good old fashioned constitutional justice. Easily confusable, yes, but quite different.

We're not sure how many of you kids live in apartments, but finding a good roommate can be a real pain in the ass. We're talking more painful than the worst case of anal warts - wait, do those hurt? We don't really know. We assume they do. They certainly sound painful. But, we digress...

So, finding a chill roommate totally sucks - there are so many levels of compatibility, especially when you're gay. You don't want to be living with some KKK fool. That'd definitely put a damper on things. In fact, some of you may be more comfortable living with a big 'mo. If that's the case, you'll probably list that in your wanted ad: a seemingly innocuous request that's sparked a very interesting lawsuit in California.

The Fair Housing Council’s of the San Fernando Valley and San Diego has filed a lawsuit against Roommates.com, alleging that sexuality-related stipulations in ads are discriminatory. Edge Boston reports:

The suit alleges that advertising such preferences is, in fact, discriminatory and violates longstanding and sacrosanct federal Fair Housing statutes. The Fair Housing Council’s of the San Fernando Valley and San Diego against Roommates.com filed the suit. Although it has yet to be decided, both housing groups have been looking at Craig’s List ads as well.
...
According to the Ninth Circuit lawsuit, if a straight woman were to advertise that she is seeking a gay male roommate, it could be seen as potentially discriminatory towards applicants who aren’t gay males.

Certainly this deserves some serious attention.

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Late last night we received an email subjected, "Gays, Business and Burgers". Mistaking it for some exceptionally perverse (and undoubtedly intriguing) porn, we were slightly disappointed to find a tale of "offensive" marketing.

Attempting to capitalize off of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's sort of funny but certainly offensive characterization of gays as "girlie men", Fatburger ran an add campaign for their new Baby Fat deal describing the culinary combo as perfect for "women, children and the occasional girlie man".

We actually think it's sort of amusing, but West Hollywood couple David A. Lee and Daniel Vaillancourt disagree: they wrote an angry letter protesting the homophobic tagline. Of the matter, Lee says,

We basically told them that this ad campaign is an insult to the LGBT community, and that until it was discontinued we would not patronize Fatburger,

It may not sound that serious, but consider Vaillancourt's amendment, "That was a hard promise to make, because Fatburger is our hands-down favorite." A more dedicated activist, we do not know. While some companies would ignore a solitary complaint, Fatburger replied within 24 hours, apologizing for the offense and insisting they'll take down all the posters.

The email also informed us of two other notable bits: one, the couple make a living as screenwriters and two, Lee won a case against former employers, Continental Airlines. It seems CA refused to honor their contract and offer Vaillancourt travel benefits.

As for the so-called "screenwriting", we took a look at IMDB and the boys each have one credit: MTV's short-lived sexy serial, Undressed. We're not sure what's more surprising: the boys' battles for equality or that it took two people to write that shit show. Regardless, we're impressed by their results. Nicely done, gents.

We've included the entire email, after the jump.

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Our favorite fabulously fictitious internet alter egos are back to give you the scooper on a totally real, reality based - and even fabulous - event. (And, yes, we know we're out of our minds. We blame Andrew Sullivan.)

Ttlykewl: Hey there.

BrdNYC: Hi. I'm in Los Angeles visiting my family.

Ttlykewl: Snoozefest. You should do something exciting.

BrdNYC: Like what? I've already picked my butt right good.

Related: Pretty Things: David LaChapelle

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