Catholics are waging war against Bill Maher, who recently took some time to not mourn Evangelical Reverend Jerry Falwell.

During his riotous oration on his HBO show, Real Time with Bill Maher, the 51-year old comedian suggested that gays may gain more rights if we just started a rear-ended religion and offered some clever excuses for gay sex:

We weren't having sex, officer, I was performing a very private Mass, here in my car. I was letting my rod and staff comfort him. Take this and eat of it, for this is my roommate Barry.

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Irish Catholic priest Michael Hogan won't be standing on the pulpit this Sunday. The holy man has taken a leave of absence after the The Sun published pictures of him from the popular gay sex website, Gaydar.

In light of the revelations, Hogan released the following statement:

I apologize profoundly for the hurt and embarrassment caused to the parishioners of Feakle and Killanena-Flagmount, my bishop, fellow priests, to those who know and trust me both within and outside the church community.

I acknowledge that these are serious matters that affect me on a personal level and in my vocation and ministry. I am immediately requesting my bishop to grant me time away from my ministry so that I might deal for myself with these issues.

I would appreciate the prayers and support of those who know me at this most difficult and trying time. It is my intention not to make any further public comment at this time.

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Italy's Democrats of the Left party reaffirmed their support of gay rights in the primarily Catholic country. Speaking after Sunday's so-called "Family Day" (a conservative orgy of the traditional variety), party leader Piero Fassino told the press: We will not step back from recognizing the rights of homosexuals." Fassino also promised to support the controversial same-sex amendment.

Catholic World News reports:

"Secularism will not give in" to religious principles, Fassino said. As for the proposal to grant legal recognition to same-sex unions, he said that the principle of equal rights for homosexuals is "a non-negotiable and absolute value."

Spanish artist Salvador Luna and his partner, Antonio Hernández, have come up against some opposition over their newest show, 1 + 1 = Nous. The ceramicists' commentary on gay marriage had been scheduled to open at Sótano Uno hall this month, but now it may not see the light of day.

The venue in question once counted itself part of a convent. Though it hasn't been used as such in years, one Catholic priest objects to showing a gay-themed show in the once holy space. Calling for an end to the exhibit, Father Gonzalo Martín says:

What [the artists] are saying is that two men kissing makes a family, and this is their opinion, not that of the Church. We are doing no more in objecting than insisting that the Town Hall complies with the terms of the agreement we signed in handing over the convent. It states specifically that no activities are to be allowed to take place there that are contrary to Church teachings.

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Some haters are gunning for homo hating Catholic Archbishop Angelo Bagnasco. Bagnasco (pictured, slouching like a heathen) has been a vocal opponent to Italy's proposed civil unions - and equating homosexuality with incest - a position that garnered him some graffiti around town, which reads: "Shame on you, Bagnasco", according to Javno.

The Archbishop's tormentors turned up the heat Friday, however, when they sent the head of the Italian Bishops Conference a bullet. The package also included a picture of Bagnasco with a swatika cut out of it, according to a Vatican Radio report.

International Herald Tribune elaborates:

Bodyguards stood a few meters (yards) from the altar Sunday in Genoa's cathedral as Bagnasco celebrated Mass. They were assigned a few weeks ago after graffiti threatening Bagnasco were scrawled on buildings.

Vatican Radio quoted the archdiocese's spokesman, Carlo Arcolao, as calling the recent threats work of "very small and psychologically weak fringes."

The bishops conference spokesman, the Rev. Domenico Pompili, told Vatican Radio that "it is not the intention of the Church to fuel a clash that it never went looking for."

The War on Terror took on an entirely new - yet just as misguided - direction Monday when Pope Benedict's number two, Archbishop Angelo Amato, blasted gay marriage as "terrorism with a human face". Talk about number two.

Pinching out the keynote address for a Catholic seminar, Amato offered a litany of "evils that remain almost invisible". These evils - not politics, not religion and certainly not international oppression - provide the thrust of terrorism. Among the litany of lewd acts, Amato counts abortion and gay marriage at the top of the list. Reuters elaborates:

In an address to chaplains, Amato said newspapers and television bulletins often seemed like "a perverse film about evil". He denounced "evils that remain almost invisible" because the media presented them as "expression of human progress".

He listed these as abortion clinics, which he called "slaughterhouses of human beings", euthanasia, and "parliaments of so-called civilised nations where laws contrary to the nature of the human being are being promulgated, such as the approval of marriage between people of the same sex...

...After denouncing "abominable terrorism" such as that carried out by suicide bombers, he condemned what he called "terrorism with a human face", and accused the media of manipulating language "to hide the tragic reality of the facts".

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Frankie D is used to being seen as a wild man. Look at him: he's a hairy beast! Despite his follicular bounty, Frankie's not keen on being labeled a bear. In fact, it's probably best you don't label him anything. This New York City bartender and student's one in a million.

For full disclosure, we've been friends with Frankie since the beginning of time. Well, at least since editor Andrew Belonsky used to work at a now defunct Chelsea coffee shop. He was eighteen, Frankie was twenty.

Despite their history, Belonsky's never had a real opportunity to pick Frankie's brain. So, in the interest of The Wild Issue, we enlisted Interview's Lucas Lai to do a little NYC photo shoot, after which Belonsky and Frankie went to one of their favorite fag dives, The Boiler Room, to get a little wild with a tape recorder.

Read the grizzly results, after the jump...

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Terrestrial radio? About the only thing we use that for these days is NPR, and even with that station we're more likely to stream it on iTunes. But the latest move by the BBC has reinvigorated our interest in the aging dial. Beginning Sunday, April 29, BBC's Radio 4 will begin airing a gay church sermon from San Francisco.

The service will be taped at San Fran's 107-year-old Castro Catholic Parish of the Most Holy Redeemer, an "inclusive Catholic" congregation where, as you guessed, most parishioners are gay.

And when the service lets out, the congregation will head over to Midnight Sun on 18th Street, and the BBC will begin airing its techno-house hour.

Gay church service on Radio 4 [Gay UK]

Larry Cirignano better count his blessings. The former head of Catholic Citizenship - a group that has made it its mission to protest gay marriage - has been arraigned on charges of misdemeanor assault and battery as well civil rights violations against pro-gay activist Sarah Loy.

The arraignment stems from a December 12th protest during which an enraged Cirignano allegedly pushed Loy to the ground, saying, “You need to get out. You need to get out of here right now." Loy had been protesting the Citizenship's protest against gay marriage. She suffered minor injuries, but wants Cirignano to pay for his civil sins.

No trial date's been set, but Cirignano plead not guilty. Another arraignment has been scheduled for May 1st. In the meantime, Cirignano has been ordered to stay away from Loy, nor can he attempt to contact her in anyway.

Cirignano pleads not guilty [Bay Windows]
Gay Marriage Foe Arraigned On Charges Stemming From Demonstration [365 Gay

• P. Diddy confounded us yesterday, but this so-called "interracial men's masturbator" really makes us go, "Hmmmm?" As in, "Hmmm, is this more 'interracial', 'uneven pigmentation' or 'supremely disturbing'?"

• Why we shouldn't use the word "homosexual".

&bull Bill Donahue's shrieks got the Chocolate Christ show canceled.

• The Detroit police department may have ruled Andrew Anthos' death an accident, but the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force wants justice. And they're willing to pay $5,000 for it.

• Gay bloggers do stuff and shit.

• Sacha Baron Cohen's having a baby.

• International Homophobic Alliance away! (This is a job for Ass Licker!)

• Ann Coulter's face smeared with doo-doo? Sign us up!

• Speaking to visitors in Bethlehem, Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini (pictured) seemed to blast Pope Benedict XVI's recent edict insisting Catholic politicians vote according to Catholic ideology. Martini insisted, "The Church does not give orders... It is necessary to listen to others, and when speaking to use terms that they understand." Word. [Catholic World News]

• Gay rights v. human rights in Fiji. [Fiji Times]

• Jonny McGovern's up to his old tricks. And we do mean tricks. [Daily Motion]

• Hedi Slimane's furniture. [Reluct]

• This pleases us not: "New data released by the city's department of health show that the highest rates of new HIV infections are among gay men 35 to 49 years old." [Gay City News]

• Would we be better off ignoring Peter Pace's comments? [NY Blade]

• Staffers at London's Carlton Tower complain that Michael Jackson - who checked in under a woman's name - doesn't tip enough. Or, really, at all. What do they expect? He's broke. [Daily Mail]

• A South African journalist has come under fire after outing two restaurant owners. [Mamba Online]

• Rosie even answer interview questions in her patented poetics. Weird. [AfterEllen]

• Vermont's Senate passed a bill to protect against gender discrimination. [Rutland Herald]

• Simon Doonan's job is just one challenge after another. He had to travel down to Dallas to organize a fashion show and then comment on the designs! Things got so hectic that he couldn't remember the model's names! How'd he cope? By breaking every stereotypical moniker rule in the book:

...I had no time to gather their names. This left me with no choice other than to assign fake monikers. I gave all the white Nordic girls names like Taneesha and Shaneequa. All the black gals got Euro-trash, aristo-sounding names like Fabuleena and Fallopia. To the male models, I assigned more straightforward names like Irving and Igor.

• The NAACP and Jasmyne Cannick are not homies, okay? [Jasmyne Cannick]

• The ACLU and some faglings fought successful to establish a GSA at California's Madera High School. Go team! [San Diego Union-Tribune]

• People love the Queerty-sponsored, Svedka-stocked, (New York's best new gay bar) eastern bloc-housed Wednesday party, Good Times! [twerking]

• Meanwhile, Iranian Pop stars love making fun of Mullahs through music! [Radar]

• Philosophy! What is it good for? Everything when discussing homosexuality through the thoughts and theories of Thomas Aquinas and how they relate to the Catholic Church. [Stephen Law]

• Richard Rothstein and Madame are daytime drinking buddies. We think they need to invite us next time they go on an afternoon binge. [QueerSighted]

• Here ye, here ye! We're now officially naming reader Tracy the nerdiest, most fabulous person in human history. She sent us an email informing us that she once worked on a Teen Witch "Where Are They Now". While time and endless drug abuse/sluttery have destroyed most of her brain cells, she still remembers a thing or two. Details (and a picture of Louise's little brother grown into a somewhat alarming man) after the jump.

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