It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for: the publication of activist hooker Mike Jones’ tell-all memoir, I Had to Say Something: The Art of Ted Haggard's Fall.

The 240-page volume gets down and dirty on Jones’ first shameful encounters with the disgraced Evangelical leader, their three-year working relationship and Haggard’s inevitable, damned descent into sex, drugs and orgies...

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Colorado Springs has a bad rap. Known more for its history of homo-hating residents - Ted Haggard, Focus on The Family and scores of other Evangelical wackos - than its mountain ranges, the city's on a mission to remake its image. And, appropriately enough, the political face-lift comes in the form of The Diversity Forum...

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Episcopal Reverend Don Armstrong nearly got a face full Sunday. The Episcopal reverend had just launched into his sermon when an 18-year old activist named Marcus Hyde ran in and threw a pie at Armstrong.

The Colorado Springs-based Armstrong has come under fire in recent months for allegedly misusing funds. He has also been criticized for trying to distance The Grace Episcopal Church from the national Episcopal movement, a movement which has been debating the role of gays in the church. No word on whether Hyde planned the action over Armstrong's planned schism. He did, however, tell police that he was "passing judgment on Armstrong on behalf of church parishioners," according to The Gazette.

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Growing up gay ain't easy. Especially when you're coming of age amidst juvenile homo-haters. While most faglings note verbal abuse, one Colorado teen got more than just fighting words last week.

Anthony Hergesheimer, 15, found himself on the receiving end of a six-person beat down. Rocky Mountain News reports:

The incident happened last Thursday afternoon, when Anthony Hergesheimer was walking home from Centennial High School along Denver Boulevard, the organization said. Six male students, ages 15 and 16, in a vehicle apparently passed by Hergesheimer several times before they stopped and hurled anti-gay insults at him.

One of the students also got out of the vehicle and threw a can of Lysol at Hergesheimer, who suffered a broken nose and severe facial injuries.

The school has suspended the six unidentified boys and officials are debating whether or not to expel them. Doesn't seem like much of a debate to us - what school wants a bunch of savages running around the halls?

It's for this precise reason that states need comprehensive anti-bully laws, such as Michigan's proposed bill

• We love how the people who make Spider Man's costumes act like they're job's so boring. Seriously, why are they so nonchalant about it. If we had those skills, we'd be all like, "What, motherfuckers? We've got the coolest job in the world, so you better have something good to say if you're going to come around here jabbering that jaw of yours." Then we'd make ourselves a hot costume and live our our Ass Licker! fantasies.

• Eeks! And sounds like we already have a super-villain to fight: parishioners from the Colorado Springs-based Grace Church and St. Stephen's Parish have broken off from the American Episcopalians and are aligning themselves with Peter Akinola and his baddies.

• No more modeling for Reichen. No, no. He's using that body to write a second book.

• We never thought Jonathan Zhang would top last week's rousing investigation of why you should wear underwear, but we were wrong. This week he takes on cheating - to which he readily admits. Yes, it's true, Zhang used to sneak around. But not anymore. He's all sorts of happy with his new man. The proof's in the pudding: "True, the never-ending temptation of the dirty SMSes and hot men at the clubs are still there, but I’ve found my perfect dish, and he tastes different everytime I eat him." We're never, ever sucking dick again.

• Gawker went to the Black Party and all they got was this lousy link. Oh, and a bitching case of crabs.

• Sarah Wheeler once lived as a lesbian. Now, she's fighting gay adoption rights. She's like the queer Benedict Arnold. Only a woman, so she'd be Bettina. Or Benedicta.

• Newsweek answered our prayers! They've compiled made our a list of America's top 50 Rabbis! And you know who's on there? Sharon Kleinbaum: Hebrew Homo activist extraordaire! Our hero:

That's right, girl.

• Anna Nicole Smith's one-time designer, Bobby Trendy has once again proven that he's got the intellect of a four-year old girl and the ego of a male model. Too bad he doesn't look like one. Nor, sadly, does the Bratz doll he molded in his horrific image.

• If movie stars have an entourage, what do porn stars have? A Porntourage, of course.

• More non-gay gay fun with 300!

• Introduction the Thames Valley Gay Police Association! Mission: combat homophobia, improve copper's homo-relations and fight queer injustice with a wooden club.

• Angelina Jolie's newest baby, Pax either looks like a little terror or a little prince, we can't tell.

• A group of Colorado gay activists are looking to combat the recent rise in anti-gay violence with a whole new day: Safe Day! We feel more secure already.

• Randy Boyd took Colts coach Tony Dungy's anti-gay remarks at last night's Indiana Family Institute dinner very personally. A taste: "Imagine being told by society (once again) that you and your dreams are worthless on one hand, and worth suppressing and destroying on the other." We'd say, if our dreams are so worthless, than why's everybody always picking on them. Then we'd say, "Oh, right, because they're douche bags."

24-year old Nima Daivari went to Colorado looking for some fun. He found trouble instead. Daivari had been taking a stroll around Denver's 16th Street Mall when an unidentified man allegedly said something disparaging. Defending his honor, Daivari asked the man to clarify, sparking a fight. Police officers soon arrived and separated the sparring men. As Daivari tried to explain the situation, rookie cop Richard Boehnlein told him to go home, neglecting to gather names or even a rudimentary report on the incident.

Determined to get justice Daivari went to the police station to file a complaint, which he did. Now, the police have launched an internal investigation to determine whether Boehnlein acted appropriately. New York-based Daivari, of course, insists he did not:

(Boehnlein) didn't even get the guy's name. For all we know, that person could be walking down the street, punching every gay guy he sees in the face.

Gay man says police ignored hate crime on 16th Street Mall [Rocky Mountain News]

• Marc Jacobs has apparently headed back to rehab. The designer flew to Arizona after presenting his latest collection in Paris. This is his second stint - he successfully combated a heroin addiction back in 1999. Let's hope this one sticks. [FWD]

• Charles Spencer calls Tennessee Williams' lost play an "unexpected pleasure and a genuinely enlightening glimpse into Williams' art and heart". [Telegraph]

• Italian conservative and anti-homo politician Paola Binetti lives Christ's pain through a spiked metal garter. [Observer]

• The benefits of a gay nudist cruise? No dry-cleaning bill. [Globorati]

• Is gay blogger Ben Nicholas a big, big, BIG liar? It sure looks that way. [M4M forum]

• Rest assured that if you write a note to designer Helmut Lang, it will end up in Purple. [New York]

• Meanwhile, Karl Lagerfeld says, "I don’t think I’m too good for what I’m doing." Well, that's a relief. [New Yorker]

• Ryan Seacrest's big date? His mommy. If that ain't gay, we don't know what is... [TMZ]

• Andrew Christian + scantily clad underwear models forced to restrain themselves lest they frighten the newscaster = one remarkably entertaining clip. [Google Video]

• Two foolish 21-year old Colorado college students have been arrested for allegedly attacking two homos. Luckily, it seems like it was a pretty even fight. [Rocky Mountain News]

• LSU's lady basketball coach Pokey Chatman has resigned after poking one of her ladies. [AfterEllen]

New Life Church may want forget that whole Ted Haggard scandal, but, like the Super Bowl, the brouhaha simply won't cease. As we noted yesterday, the church has sacked about 30-50 employees. Today The New York Times expands on that story, reporting that the Church has found itself in a bit of a financial bind:

Since the announcement of Mr. Haggard’s removal on Nov. 5, New Life’s donations have fallen to $4.9 million in the past four months, compared with $5.3 million in the same period a year earlier...

These are difficult times, and these have been difficult decisions. But the floor of this church has not fallen out... I would say that the people at New Life are confident in the process of transition that is under way and hopeful for the future. There is a pervasive sense that our best days are ahead of us.