It's hard to find a man these days. Let alone a super man. The seemingly endless quest for love can get a bit tiresome, leading lonely hearts in the realm of fantasy. Never fear, heartbroken homos - the superhero match makers are here!

Despite existing in separate comic company realms, Doctor Fate and Professor X have teamed up to help you find the super-powered lover of your dreams. All you have to do is head on over to the Superhero Dating Quiz, answer some standard questions - "Do You Like Big Muscles?", "Do you like flying?" - and the duo find your match.

We're 65.2% compatible with Beast from the X-Men. Batman trailed close behind with 64.6%. No offense, Beast, but we're going to go with Batman. Oh, shit, we've made Beast cry!

It's not you, Beast, it's our distaste for shedding animals. We'll give you a call if things between us and old Bat butt don't work out.

(Super thanks to reader Nathan for sending us the link. You're our hero.)

We don't know where Chris Trottier found this gem of comic art, but we had to pass it along. In case you're not familiar, that there's Iron Man - one of Marvel's Avengers. We can't tell by that tail, but he's either talking to Avenger reservists Monkey Joe or Squirrel Girl. If you don't remember them, that's okay: they didn't last long. And for good reason. Squirrel Girl? What the fuck can she do? Lame.

Anyway, we like to think he's talking to Monkey Joe, but do monkey's eat nuts? Wouldn't that be a bit like cannibalism? Oh, zinger!

I Don't Need Luck. I Eat Nuts. [quixoticals]

"Hi, Ass Licker! here. You guys work too hard. Why don't you take a break to draw a comic for Lambda Legal? You're probably thinking, "What the fuck does Lambda Legal want with a comic book?" Well, I'll tell you.

The lisping litigators have joined forces with Prism Comics - the non-profit gay comic company - to show what the world would look like without courts. That is, if there were no judicial platform for gay and civil rights. Sounds pretty horrifying to us.

So, put on those thinking caps, get out those magic markers and dive into the jump for the complete details. One lucky winner could win a trip for two to anywhere in the continental United States. Sorry, no Hawaii or Alaska...but what do you want, they're non-profits! Now, I've got some ass to lick. Ass Licker! away!"

For Ass Licker!'s origin, click here.

CONTINUED »

• We have to give a huge thanks to reader Nathan, for he led us to this Marvel Comics-endorsed website where you can make your own super hero. It's fucking rad and you should go make one. Here's our first attempt: Ass Licker! And, yes, the exclamation mark's part of his name. You have to say it like that: "Ass Licker!" no matter what, even if you're whispering. His power: he licks ass, of course. We expect he'll have some friends soon. [heromachine]

• Speaking of heroes, Britney Spears apparently has three: her mama, her ex and her lawyer. We'd argue the third's the most powerful. [TMZ]

• Here's a heroic Hebrew: orthodox Rabbi Steve Greenberg. He's lent his voice to the great gay marriage debate. His argument revolves around the necessary distinction between civil matters and those of faith: "By denying the right to civil unions, states are in violation of civil rights..." [Emory]

• Yee-haw! It's time for the Gay Rodeo, y'all. [Dallas Morning News]

• Sounds like Kenneth Hill needs a trip to that there Gay Rodeo. He's getting all nostalgic for Brokeback. [QueerSighted]

• Meanwhile, Rupert Everett's hosting Sydney's Mardi Gras. Naked. Okay, not naked, but he's apparently at a loss at what to wear. Also, Also, he's got a new book out. Not sure if you've heard... [Sydney Morning Herald]

Certainly you remember the story on how a group of pious investigators discovered Walmart.com sells "gay books". In an effort to stop their dastardly deeds, concerned consumer Donna Garner gathered a group of homies to raise a stink, telling The Baptist Press:

I think we’ve done a pretty good job in our country of letting Wal-Mart know we’ve not been pleased at all with their decision to back the homosexual agenda.

Of course you're not, honey. And, yes, you have done a "good" job.

As we learned with the Wal-Mart v. American Family Association, the mega store's got a reputation for folding under pressure. Thus, it (unfortunately) comes as no surprise that they've already pulled a number of titles from their online store. The twist comes in a particular genre being targeted: a sexually explicit anime known as Yaoi Hentai and the so-called controversy that boils below.

CONTINUED »

It all started way back when we wrote about Peter Rosenstein's sweet suggestion that the world celebrate Sexual Honesty Day. Honestly, we had no idea how to illustrate our little examination. We couldn't find a suitable picture of Peter Rosenstein and a picture of a smiling planet seemed a little, well, stupid.

Thus, we simply searched Google images for images correspondent to the word"sexual" and came across that picture of Tarzan and his little monkey basking in what our sick imaginations assume to be post-coital euphoria.

The image itself comes from a website erroneously entitled, The Best Page in the Universe. Obviously the man in charge is a complete nutter, because everyone knows that we're The Best Page in the Universe. Sucka just an imposter. But, we digress...

CONTINUED »

So, in case you don't know: 2006 is done and gone. What perfect timing for those media watchdogs GLAAD to release their annual list of the baddest of the homophobic baddies. To mark the blessed event, President of all that is good and homo-some Neil Giuliano again reminds us of his organization's indispensability in the only way he knows how: with histrionics.

The amazing and unprecedented visibility of our lives and the issues we face every day makes it imperative that GLAAD respond decisively to such blatant bigotry. Every day, we are on the front lines of the fight to change hearts and minds, in sometimes easy, sometimes heart-breaking circumstances. The media has a responsibility to make certain our voices are heard and our community is visible. This will be achieved when we convince those around us that our lives and our relationships deserve nothing less than full equality and respect.

Oh, that's why GLAAD exists. We thought it was to publish ludicrously long reports on a gay character in The Green Lantern. Our mistake.

While the addition fan favorites Don Imus and New York Post cartoonist Sean Dalmus (who, by the way, we still think has balls of steel for his Jim McGreevey/Mark Foley send-up) come as no surprise, we must have been snoozing when Tucker Carlson ranted about New Jersey trannie teacher, Lily McBeth (pictured above, looking pretty as a picture).

I’m pretty tolerant of whatever people want to do, very tolerant, in their private lives. If men want to dress up like women that’s fine. I think it’s dorky, but you know, it doesn’t hurt me. If a person voluntarily undergoes castration, that is totally different. That is an act of a crazy person. That’s like setting your hair on fire or blinding yourself. You are unstable if you voluntarily castrate yourself simply because you feel uncomfortable in your own sex and I don’t want a person that unstable teaching my kids.

Hmm, we thought Carlson castrated himself long ago (that's why he's gone so bloated). Anyway, McBeth may have chopped off her penis, but ain't nothing more unstable than a pundit who's willing to humiliate himself on Dancing with the Stars for a little extra publicity. And that's a fact, Jack.

If you're at all interested in joining the lynch mob, click here for some GLAAD patented fun. (Fun not guaranteed.)

It's been a while since we last checked in on our nerdalicious queer comrades over at Gay League, so we thought we'd head on over to give 'em a shout. Once there we saw this announcement: "NEW! CLEVER! SEXY! FUN! The Queen of Diamonds sixth issue, POP CULTURE BITES is now available!" After shaking off all that exclamatory shock, we clicked on through to see what the hell all the excitement was about. And we found what may be one of our favorite internet-related discoveries.

Created by Bevis Musson and Alistair Pulling, The Queen of Diamonds is Britain's very own gay super-hero. That's right: a total flamer who totally beat up bad guys. While Musson and Pulling don't always make a big deal about Q.D.'s cock-sucking, it's definitely apparent. Musson says:

...To be honest he's the kind of character that only a gay man could write. ...[H]e is a big stereotype, but that's me. I'm camp and love Marilyn and musicals and stuff and as a result the Queen does, too. It's not a comic that's making a point though. It's not a comic that's about a gay superhero, it's a comic about a superhero and his life and his problems and there's also the fact he's gay, although you'd have to be a bit dim not to notice he's gay.

If you're at all interested in gay comics, having a laugh or generally just wasting time, head on over to The Queen of Diamonds.

As for him being a stereotype - we think that's even better. Dress a stereotype in some tights and cape and we're in love. Remember Handyman from In Living Color? Fucking brilliant. We bet the Queer Eye boys could have rubbed out another season if they just pulled on some rubber.

• A study postively correlates gender equality with the well-being of children. Wild. [Hindustan Times]

• The Hillsborough County School Board in Florida allows LGBT students to attend Gay-Straight Alliance meetings even if they don't have a permission slip. Sweet. [ACLU]

• Megan Gedris' lesbian-themed web-based comic strip has won Queer Press Grant for a print version. Radical. [The Advocate]

• Janice Dickinson smashed into her windshield during a hit-and-run accident. Bummer. [TMZ]

• Anti-gay-nup Massholes are suing the political opposition for $5 million. Lame. [International Herald Tribune]

• Homo-journo Christopher Stevens relates Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer to queers. Festive. [Southern Voice]

You may recall that as part of The Power Issue, we've asked a few artist friends to submit their depictions of power. For today's offering, we'd like to share this piece by New York-based graphic designer, Stephen Sunderland.

We weren't exactly sure what to make of it. It sort of looks like some sort of gay super-hero charging up. Of course, Sunderland's not as nerdy as us, so we thought it best to call for a bit of explanation.

It seems that Sunderland intentionally chose a male figure as a commentary on the ways men have historically been granted power. At the same time, the man stands in the middle of various symbols, from which he draws his power. The male power figure, then, is a mere sum of his parts: powerless at his core, forced to draw on the things around him to survive. Sunderland says, "Power cannot rely on one thing, it needs other things."

It's worth noting, we think, that the man's crowned by a bomb: one of the most effective tools of false power. While more passive symbols of power revolve around him, it is the bomb that stands out, a reminder of male violence in power relations.

We're not sure how many of you out there read The New Yorker, so we thought we'd pass along this cartoon for the current issue.

Why? Because we love you more than you can imagine and certainly more than our shrink recommends...

While we're on the subject of crotches, we'd like to point you in the direction of retroCRUSH, the like totally pop-culture obsessed website.

Our friend Teelin sent us this link yesterday. With a simple click of a button, you too can guess which crotch belongs to which super-hero.

The website had a contest which, unfortunately, has passed, but we suspected you kids need a little break from the monotony of Tuesday morning.

Sure, you can't win, but you can waste a little time and test your comic-crotch knowledge.

What could be better?