As purveyors of all things low-brow (hello, look where you are), you probably already know that Tucker Carlson has been given the boot from Dancing With The Stars.

We must admit, we're more than a little disappointed. We were hoping he'd at least last two weeks, but America has spoken and now Carlson is on the big dance floor in the sky. Our world just got a little darker.

After the jump, relive Carlson's singular dance and brutal judgements. Then, shed a tear and get over it. That's what Carlson would want.

[Read On ...]

We'd be lying if we said we didn't love Dancing With The Stars, the show where not so A-List stars flit about with professional dancers for the ultimate Hollywood title. Alright, maybe "ultimate" is a stretch, but whatever.

Last night marked the beginning of season three. For this go-round, we get a chance to see folk such as Vivica A. Fox, Jerry Springer, Joey Lawrence, and our boy Mario Lopez shake what their mama's gave them. While obviously we love Lopez, we're quite taken with football player Emmitt Smith (pictured with partner, Cheryl Burke). So big in the bod and so light on his feet. Swoon... While we've always had a guilty crush on conservative pundit, Tucker Carlson, we can't help but wag our finger at his red-faced, half-assed effort. Shame on you, Tucker!

We know our readers, and we know you watched, too. So, tell us, who are you cheering on? There's no shame...okay, well, maybe a little.

We've been so bogged on our end that we didn't get a look at the fall tv schedule, so you can only imagine the ironic joy we felt upon discovering Fox's new Celebrity Duets. While certainly no Dancing With The Stars - because that's actually good - it has serious potential to become our weekly disaster show. Naturally, Simon Cowell's behind this...

Here's the brilliant set-up: a train wreck of B-C List stars are paired with notable musicians in a competition to see who doesn't suck as much as they others. Among the illustrious line-up we have Lea Thompson, Gold-Medal Gymnast Carly Patterson looking more robust than when we last saw her, reformed stoner Cheech Marin, and not so fresh prince Alfonso Robeiro. Of course, the queer and pseudo-queer are represented by Jai Rodriguez and Hal Sparks, respectively, while hyper-masculine wrestler Chris Jericho shows his softer side. The real singers include LeAnn Womack, Michael Bolton, and a cadaver-esque Randy Travis. It's too bad Smokey Robinson and Gladys Knight got wrapped up in this mess, too.

Surprisingly, Jai Rodriguez doesn't suck. In fact, he's kind of good. When he found out he'd be singing with Gladys Knight, he totally fagged out and called his mom. To be fair, we'd probably do the same thing.

Another high note: judge Little Richard reminds us of a Jewish grandmother, only on more pills. And in a cheaper wig.

If you missed it, there's a "special" encore tomorrow on Fox. Do yourself a favor and take a gander.

• We’re gay enough to be excited about tomorrow night’s season premiere of Dancing with the Stars. But after seeing pro dancer John Robert’s picture on the official site, we’re a little surprised his bio refers to a “wife.” [Dancing with the Stars Official Site]

• A British Muslim leader is calling gays and same-sex marriage “harmful.” We think prejudiced words like that are much more dangerous. [BBC]

• Poet Tory Dent passed away from AIDS-related complications in NYC. RIP. [Newsday]

• Motorola's new iRadio sounds pretty cool. We’ll just have to get one. [AP]

• Maine’s (New Englanders so love The Gays) new law outlaws any sort of discrimination when it comes to sexual orientation. Sounds like common sense to us, but only a few states have this sort of thing on the books. [Morning Sentinel]