• Lisa Kudrow's a genius. The people who cancelled The Comeback are fools. That is all.

• Paris Hilton's dead, naked body never looked so educational. Artist Daniel Edwards has created a life-size sculpture to highlight the "disturbingly glamorized trend of Hollywood's girls gone wild", according to TMZ. In twenty year's time, Hilton's real body will be doing that on its own.

• Michael Lucas' former right hand, Heather "Reznor" Fink and her comedy troupe sure like meat. Especially in panties. And they say the porn industry doesn't fuck you up.

• Gene Robinson on New Hampshire's new civil union laws: "I think this moves us one step closer to the American promise to all its citizens of equality under the law. My partner and I look forward to taking full advantage of the new law." No more living in sin for those boys!

• Class Comics, Inc: totally NSFW gay superhero fun.

• Jim McGreevey and Dina Matos have "agreed" on joint custody of their daughter. Also, McGreevey's faggotry apparently is "not significant".

• Posh and Becks must be stopped.

• VH1 has made a career out of making New York's career.

• From PageOneQ: "[A] Bentonville, AR man is seeking $20,000 in damages and the firing of the town's top librarian, claiming his two sons were disturbed after stumbling upon The Whole Lesbian Sex Book in the town's public library." Only $20,000? Fuck, it's The Whole Lesbian Sex Book. That's a lot of information, definitely deserving of $25,000.

• Can someone please tell us what the fuck P. Diddy (or, for you traditionalist, Puff Daddy) is doing in this picture? It's either horribly violent or horribly sensual. Either way, it's horribly horrible.

• Good news from Nigeria: the anti-gay bill seems to be stalled in the lower House. Cross your faggy fingers!

• !! omg !! Straight people in drag!

• Atlanta's gay stars are way cooler than you. And more socially conscious. You better recognize.

• Ug, Victoria Beckham is such a copycat. Also, David has a girl's haircut.

• Sarah Michelle Gellar in the new Batman?

• We have something in common with Keith Olbermann. We both think Michael Savage stinks as much as that horse shit he spouts.

• Those Soulforce riders just can't stay out of jail.

• Were you guys at the Jimmy Im spun, eastern bloc housed, Svedka soaked, Queerty sponsored Good Times last night? No? Check out some pics to see what you missed.

CONTINUED »

Ain't nothing like a good tonic after a post like that last one. Good thing we stumbled upon TMZ's photogenic coverage of an - um - enthusiastic David Beckham after Real Madrid's latest win. Thanks, Becks, we needed that...

In other news from the Beckham Universe, rumor has it he and the Mrs. may be snatching up Madonna's LA pad. They don't, after all, want to be homeless when he moved to play for LA Galaxy.

Seaking of the Mrs - that walking horror fest known otherwise as Victoria and/or Posh, she's signed on to style Tom Cruise and Katie Kate Holmes Cruise for the Oscars.

How fucking quaint.

We were just checking in on our homie Andy Towle and saw his post on David Beckham coming to play for LA Galaxy. We're not really into sports all that much, so we won't try to talk about Beckham's performance or anything like that. We'd just like to point out one wholly ridiculous, utterly excessive and undeniably grotesque: Becks stands to make $248 million over the course of five-years.

Certainly this is a great sum of money - in fact, it's unprecedented in America's Major League Soccer. Up until a short time ago, MLS capped all player's salaries. This season, however, the league swtiched things up with the Designated Player Rule aka The Beckham Rule, which says a team can pick one "priceless" player and pay them more than the pre-selected cap. According to everyone's favorite virtual encyclopedia, the DPR::

...will allow each of the MLS franchises to sign one player that would be considered outside of the teams' salary cap, estimated to be around US$1.9 million in 2006 (the amount will be raised for the 2007 season), allowing U.S. teams to compete in the International soccer market for star players.

• Missouri Governor says non-discrimination clarification takes "too much time." [University Business]

• 15-year old convicted of Gay Pride attacks. We hate to say it, but good. [365 Gay]

• Wait, you can drink Cocaine? Thanks Red Bull! [Jossip]

• Beckham makes Posh eat like him. We'd rather eat him. [The Daily Mail]

• Polish Prez attempts to clarify gay views. Um...okay. [The Advocate]

There's something gorgeous about when celebrities talk shit about one another. It's sort of like when your parents do it, only doesn't end up requiring massive shrink bills. We were totally tickled, then, to hear that there's a row between our favorite bad-ass songstress, Lily Allen, and the family Beckham.

Apparently, Ms. Allen - who's not known for her manners - insists that Victoria "Posh" Beckham doesn't eat. "I don't care how much she says that's her natural weight, it's bull. She gets photographed every day and doesn't eat a thing."

Of course, this doesn't sit well with David Beckham. At a radio interview, he refused a free single from Lily's album because of the comments. He says, "She was horrible to Victoria, I won't have that then."

Right. What's he going to listen to? Posh's music? Now that's love.

• Long walk to marriage in South Africa: State Law Advisory says law not up to code. [365 Gay]

• Marine Recruiting Center closes shop after Soulforce activists try to enlist. [The Shreveport Times]

• It's been a while since we checked on Becks and Posh, but are they fading? [The Daily Mail]

• In a fight between Karl and Yves, who'd win? A new book says Karl. [International Herald Tribune]

• Trannie teacher justice: kids denied transfer. [365 Gay]

• Thursday's WorldPride vigil in Jerusalem's central square – already the focus of much controversy – was hijacked by Lebanon war protestors, who carried their near the gathering. Police had to detain some protesters and intervened to keep them from stampeding over the vigil. [Jerusalem Post]

• Though the organizers of the Gay Games and OutGames have zero intention of coming together for a single sports event, many athletes hope they do; many "missed the unification that one event offers." [Washington Blade]

• Washington D.C.'s Gay Men's Chorus performed the national anthem at Tuesday night's Washington Nationals basketball game — to a standing ovation (though it might've had something to do with the crowd already being on their feet during the "Star Spangled Banner"). [Advocate]

• In New Mexico, more arrests come in the gay bashing case of an 18-year-old. Twenty-one-year-old Leroy Segura and Cecily Gonzales, 16, join two suspects already in custody. [Advocate]

• In Ireland, a gay hotel that was supposed to go up in a small town will now just be a fleeting memory. Promoter Brian Berry had planned on revamping the Carlow hotel but the current owner decided instead to sell it off to a heterosexual couple. [Pink News]

• Though he'll continue to play for Real Madrid, David Beckham won't have a spot on the English national team. While he stepped down from being captain after the World Cub, Beckham isn't being put on the roster by England's new manager Steve McClaren. [CNN]

• Esquire names Sean Preston Federline the "Worst Dressed Man in the World." [Page Six, last item]

Another day, another round of David Beckham in Speedos. We're assuming David and wife Victoria spent more than one day on Roberto Cavalli's yet — though if there's anyone so vain as to change his scant wardrobe not once, not twice, but three times (from white to black to orange striped to white board shorts), it's Mr. Beckham.

CONTINUED »

Is getting through this Monday especially difficult for you, too? Then let us help you with a round of photos from David Beckham, on a yacht, in a white Speedo. Because nobody should have to begin the work week without some adequate mental stimulation. We're now accepting American Express gift cards as means of expressing your gratitude.

CONTINUED »

• The unauthorized Star Trek spin-off Hidden Frontier takes the show's gay undertones one step further. Yep, it's possible. [AfterElton]

• On college campuses, out goes beer and in comes iPod as the "must have" thing. Threesomes with your frat brothers didn't even place! [GenDigital]

• The new HomoMojo lets you queens decide which queer crap you want to read. [HomoMojo]

• Just when the Los Angeles Times devotes quite a few column inches to the disintegrating interest of celebrities dedicated to the AIDS cause comes word that none other than David Beckham has teamed up with Motorola for MOTO(RED), a campaign to raise awareness of AIDS in Africa. [Gizmodo]

• Christians in Maine aren't happy with Brokeback Mountain. We never would have guessed. [WMTW]

• Turkey is showing Brokeback but not to those under 18 because it violates "public morals." At least it hasn't been banned. [NY Blade]

• David Beckham lookalike hooker (click for his profile) costs £500 UK a pop; gives fans a chance to Bend Him Like Beckham. [The Sun UK]

• Now that she's beaten off that super-bitch cancer, our fave lesbian rocker, Melissa Etheridge, will be recording new music and touring this summer. [Post Chronicle]

• Convicted criminal gets off with permanent erection. [Oh La La Paris]

• Iraqi leader wants the gays dead. Still. [365gay]