Desperate Housewives manthing Jesse Metcalfe is "a little annoyed" about the persistent rumors that he is a homo, but acknowledges there is nothing to do about it except abstain from anal sex with men. And stop doing his own eyebrows.

And not let people take photos like the one at right.

JESSE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GAY RUMOURS [GCN]

The producer of the new Desperate Housewives videogame claims she is trying to attract female players, but we suspect it will be a bigger hit with all the fags who have dreamed of the day they could have a conversation (even a computerized one) with Bree Van De Kamp.

In the game you play an entirely new housewife, and can be a nice neighbor or complete bitch. Plus you'll be able to do whatever you want on Wisteria Lane, including "uncover or create new scandals." We hope it is possible to sneakily take pictures of the wizened Teri Hatcher with no makeup on and hold them for ransom.

'Desperate Housewives' inspires video game [Reuters]

In the perfect example of "art imitates life": Marcia Cross, the Desperate Housewives star once rumored to be a lesbian, will take a lesbian turn on the show.

Cross' character Bree Van de Kamp will reportedly fall for another woman, but have the relationship cut short when her evil son catches on to her taste for the ladies. Her son has held a grudge against her since earlier in the series, when Bree struggled with her son's proclimation that he is gay--to which she told him he "won't go to Heaven."

Cross was "outed" by internet gossip last year, but publicly announced her hererosexuality on the cover of one of those gay magazines no one really reads anymore.

Bree certainly has had a tough go of it. This new lesbian action on Housewives follows (a) Bree's turn into a drunk who passes out on her front lawn; (b) Bree's play in the suicide-death of her pharmacist and would-be lover (which was too convenient and unresolved; obviously the pharmacist is coming back), and (c) Bree's dabble in the world of S&M domination with her submissive husband, whom the pharmacist killed. And we thought blowing herself to bits on Melrose Place was nutty.

According to StarPulse.com, both Kim Cattrall and Dana Delaney are being considered for the lesbian-lover role; but Cattrall recently joined the cast of Sir Elton John's television project Him & Us, so those rumors might be a little antiquated. We recommend Anne Heche, as she is a brilliant actress in need of work, and she's just as crazy in real life as any of the characters on the show.

We worry about the welfare of (Housewives' creator) Marc Cherry's mother, as he seems to have a lot of psychotic baggage about their relationship.

Desperate Housewives plan lesbian story line [Star Pulse]

also: Housewives on Good As You

• “OK, I can't tell you why Paul Newman, Steve Carell, and Hugh Laurie are gay, but at this point, the game is lost. The Globes. Are Gay.” [Law Dork]

• “Gwenyth's dress looked like a Project Runway disaster. Being pregnant is no excuse lady.” [Exceptional Mediocrity]

• “And there was something very satisfying about Mary Louise Parker's win for Weeds as all four of the Desperate Housewives looked on. You could almost hear snubbed housewife Nicollette Sheridan's satisfied clucks as the schadenfreude settled over that table.” [Towleroad]

• “That little sound you heard from the direction of Chelsea was Andy Towle flinging himself out a window: Heath Ledger loses "Best Actor" to Philip Seymour Hoffman.” [The Malcontent]

• “When Teri Hatcher told Isaac Mizrahi she wasn't wearing underwear, and he looked like he might throw up.” [Jossip]

Yesterday’s So Gay! list was all about the big screen. Today we look at the small screen and why the year in television was So Gay!

5. Boston Legal. Boston Legal may just be the funniest show on TV. It is well written, smart, and has an all-star, hilarious ensemble cast. It is the relationship between two straight men that makes the show so gay. William Shatner and James Spader share the same bed, bicker, and even dressed as matching pink flamingos for Halloween. It is the perfect gay relationship, except they don’t have sex.

4. Commander In Chief. A woman moves into the Oval Office and kicks ass in Washington. The Gays were down from the beginning, especially since we’ve long loved Geena Davis. However it was the plotline about Special Assistant to the President Vince Taylor (Anthony Azizi) that really made us fans. In one episode it was revealed he was HIV+ and gay. The storyline was handled with respect and we only wish Mack was in Bush’s place.

3. Project Runway. There are so many gays on the new Project Runway that we cannot keep count. These ladies would, at times, make both Jay McCarroll and Austin Scarlett look butch. Queens and dresses and Michael Kors oh my! Another hit season is off the ground and running.

2. Desperate Housewives. Though the ladies of Wisteria Lane are hetero, you can’t get campier than Desperate Housewives. A gay subplot involving Bree’s son has us on edge. Jesse Metcalf is still hot, hot, hot. And Marcia Cross is still the best tranny on television. Don’t listen to the critics denouncing season two. These women are still one gay old time.

After the jump, the gayest thing on TV in 2005!

[Read On ...]

• A Republican Representative from Wisconsin argues that "allowing gay marriage will force schools to teach children about alternative families and make their teen years even more confusing." As if their straight parents impending divorce wouldn't already take care of that.

• Desperate Housewives' James Denton who usually surrounds himself with 5 catty women will instead surround himself with 50 catty women.

• We always thought straight football fans only debated NFL stats and strategies. Turns out they also weigh in on a player's fit-for-porn facial hair. (Via Kenneth in the 212)

• Girlfriends has selected Provincetown as the best place for lesbians to live. Shouldn't that be the most gentrified place for lesbians to live?

• Here's some cheer for gays living in New Orleans: free wireless.

• Ratings for Anderson Cooper's newly expanded show on CNN drop in its second hour. Probably because all of the guys fantasizing about him only need the one hour to finish themselves off.

• The creepy basement guy from Desperate Housewives was canned for being a creepy flasher guy on set. He insists he's no longer on the show due to the buy out of his contract not because of improper conduct. Hmmm. You lose a lot of credibility once you start whipping your dick out to your co-coworkers.

• Oddly worded pro-gay billboards that read, "I sit next to you. And...I am a lesbian. We are your neighbors" are popping up all over Georgia. The others must say things like "take me to your leader" and "we come in peace."

• Canadians elected openly gay Andre Boisclair to be leader of the Parti Quebecois and he's causing quite a ruckus. Turns out Boisclair used to blow coke in his spare time. We don't see what the big deal is. Our leader was both a druggie and a lush.

• Poland is quickly becoming as gay friendly as Eminem at a pride rally.

• You've heard the old saying that everything seems to cause cancer. Everything now includes giving blow jobs.

• Jeffrey Brezovar is many things: gay model, boyfriend to Nate Berkus and, um, father to Camryn Manheim's baby.

• Bored with Desperate Housewives so far this season? You're not alone.

• A lesbian has accused her basketball coach of kicking her off the team for being gay. We're siding with the coach on this one. Who in their right mind would kick a dyke off their basketball team and still expect to win?

• Kanye West has blasted homophobic hip-hop lyrics, but how does he feel about his music appearing on a gay TV show? Well, that's another story.

• Ohio plans to open a museum documenting the history of gays in the Buckeye State. And we thought museums couldn't get any gayer than Liberace's.

•A Christian school in California has expelled a 14-year old girl upon learning her parents are gay. I guess we glossed over the part in the Bible where Jesus said “thou shalt not educate the offspring of lesbians.”

•We’re bummed that we didn’t get to see Sandra Bernhard rip on both Barbara “Mrs. Doubtfire” Bush and Condi “Ferragamo” Rice in person.

•Ex-gay camp Love in Action employees are allowed to continue their brainwashing for one more week. But not to worry. Once the place shuts its doors for good, they'll easily find jobs working for the Vatican.

•For the last time: Kenny Chesney IS NOT GAY!. Right...

•“Amnesty International: Cops abuse gays, need to add liaison officers.” But will they be Dangerous Liaisons?

•Stuff you need to schedule your life around this weekend: The bitchy Desperate Housewives (and wet dream Jesse Metcalf) are back this Sunday night and single mom Jodie Foster takes on yet another single mom role in Flightplan.