• Well, not really, but we bet the incarcerated producer behind Girls Gone Wild he'd love to profit off of Prison Guys Gone Wild.

• Details flippantly deliver the "truth": their rag's a total fag. Guess they really did deserve that GLAAD award.

• Whoopi headed to The View? That makes sense: she's kind of like a black Rosie O'Donnell. Only "not" gay.

• Boise State University and conservative Idaho Family Alliance's Bryan Fischer's "Transgender Bathroom Wars" continue. Honestly, we didn't know they had begun...

• We dont' understand a word of French singer Zazie's 1992 jam, "Sucre Sale", but we dig the homo-flavored, naked model filled video.

• Scandal-ridden congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham denounced his anti-gay ways after buying a yacht from a bunch of butt pirates, according to Seth Hettena, author of Feasting on the Spoils. He told "Buoy Toys'" former owners,

I now vote pro-gay, and it's because of you [guys]... I'm sure I've met lots of gay people, but I've never met two guys that, you know, were outwardly gay and ... that I would consider drinking buddies and friends and boating buddies and people I want to spend time with ... that also said, 'Oh, by the way, I just happened to be gay.

The purchase even Cunningham to apologize to openly gay congressman Barney Frank for his homophobic potty mouth, according to Radar. The article also points out the yacht led to a bribery investigation that ended his career. We wonder if he's still keen on the queens.

• The Mark Foley scandal may have been the best thing for the Congressional page program.

• Viktors Birze, the man accused of inciting the attack on last year's Latvian gay pride, has been charged with public disorder. Sweet, sweet, justice.

• Wait, maybe Details did deserve that GLAAD award. Psych!

• Hayden Panettiere does not appreciate being called Lindsay Lohan. Motherfucker.

• Want to read the entire Michael Musto Out article on "The Glass Closet"? Click here to live your dream.

• The mystery of Helvetica: it's bigger than you think.

• Colt star Gage Weston (seriously?) gets down on Workout!

• The A Brief Smile scandal gets some ink. And we're quoted! Read our editor's entire statement, after the jump.

• It's Wednesday. You know what that means. Well, yes, the week's half-way over. But, more importantly, it's time for some Good Times: the Queerty-sponsored, eastern bloc-housed, Jimmy Im-spun, Svedka-soaked weekly party. This week's special treats: guest DJ Kurvin and the launch of Genre's spring break issue. Hopefully they'll make up for that MOTY scandal. Get the deets, after the jump.

[Read On ...]

• Because we learned how to split our matzah without making an unsightly mess!

• Because Details proves out point: it shouldn't have been honored by GLAAD.

• Because, like Christ, Faggoty-Ass Faggot has risen from the dead. But they're not concerned with your spiritual salvation. No, no, FAF has bigger fish to fry: your Manhunt grammar. You should be ashamed...

• Because people fell for the Tron ban. Seriously, the movie came out in 1982 - why would they ban it now?

• Because Italian reality show contestants masturbate on national television!

• Because John Waters doesn't like jury duty.

Since the beginning of time, one question has plagued man kind: Who gets off more - evangelicals or sex pots? It stumped Edison, Einstein and all those other dudes with brains bigger than ours.

Now, Details wants you to take a stab, if you will, with their "Evangelist Face or O-Face" - um - face off.

Give it a go, here. God knows your not doing anything right now anyway. Except, maybe, scratching your [enter gender specific genitals and/or transitioning junk].

GLAAD - the "inclusive" gay media watchdog group - held their 18th annual media awards last night at New York City's Marriott Marquis. We weren't there, but GLAAD president Neil Guiliano sure as hell was. He's in almost every shot.

As for the actual winners, Patti LaBelle won for Excellence in Media Award, while Tom Ford took home the Vito Russo Award. Marc Jacobs' "bear" ad campaign won the advertising honor and, for some reason, GLAAD granted the "straight" men's magazine, Details, the Outstanding Magazine Overall Coverage. Because, you know, their "Gay or X" column really helps the cause.

Find some pictures after the jump for your - um - enjoyment...

And, to read all about Jennifer Hudson and Patti LaBelle's duet, click here.

[Read On ...]

Sure we love Jake Gyllenhaal. We haven’t even tired of the sudden barrage of films he’s been in this season like were with those Jude Law duds last year. We can even forgive his Toby McGuire sneer on the cover of the new Details. But inside the mag Jake reveals his take on the lovelorn gay cowboys he and Heath Ledger play in Brokeback Mountain. He procedes to confuse his own character’s sexuality:

He (Jake) doesn't believe Ennis and Jack are gay. "I approached the story believing that these are actually straight guys who fall in love," he says. "That's how I related to the material. These are two straight guys who develop this love, this bond. Love binds you, and you see these guys pulling and pulling and tugging and trying to figure out what they want, and what they will allow themselves to have."

When two men do a lot of “pulling and pulling and tugging” with one another it usually means one thing. They’re big flaming fairies.

But is Jake just trying to deflect those gay rumors following him around longer than crack in Whitney Houston’s system? Could be.

I've never really been attracted to men sexually, but I don't think I would be afraid of it if it happened.

God, what a tease.

• Sounds like Drudge creamed his pants over Anderson Cooper's proclamation that "going gray is like ejaculation" even more than we did.

• Speaking of ejaculate, STD cases in the gay community are on their way up, up, up. Someone please cue the Evangelicals. This is about when they start to claim this is God's way of punishing homos.

• Images from Gay.com didn't just magically appear on Mayor James West's computer after all. Yeah, obviously.

• Radar Magazine goes all kissy face and lists the top ten guy on guy movie smooches. Funny thing is we thought this article would only end up in the straight guy pages of Details.

• Saudi police busted up a gay beauty pageant before it even happened. Among the items they confiscated were large quantities of "sex toys." Um, what kind of beauty pageant was this going to be?

• Can't wait for it to come out next week? MTV.com is streaming Madge's new disc.

Apparently the queens, oops, editors over at Details got carried away celebrating their fake 5-year anniversary and forgot to, you know, edit the magazine.

The whole “we are all things to all people thing” does not fly with us fags over here at Queerty. And while you may helm a magazine with a real masthead and real covers and real fashion editorials, let me speak to you. You know, editor to editor. And I am a real editor thank you very much. At least I play one convincingly on the Internet.

Mr. Peres did you not notice this line in an article talking about the stupidity of half-tucking? “That faux tuck is meant to telegraph just the right amount of slapped-together disarray—but the disarray, alas, reads as all too engineered.”

Just like your response to the “Is Details gay?” question and just like your current cover. That is an all too engineered faux tuck that Mr. Phoenix is sporting. So are you saying faux tucks are bad for everyone but cover models and Hollywood actors? We don’t understand.

May I make a suggestion? Pick a side. Choose a sexual preference. And stop dressing your cover models in the same style you tell us normal folk to avoid.

In the Details September 2005 issue's Know+Tell section we are given three easy ways to sleep on a plane without the aid of our beloved dolls, Ambien and Xanax. Below are their three ideas to help you slumber drug free while flying high, not "high."

1. The Seat. Apparently, the back of the plane is the bumpiest. Details advises travelers to sit just behind the wings. Checking out SeatGuru is advised also. That site has seat specifications online for 25 different carriers.

2. The Gear. The (closeted) queens at Details then tell us to be wary of airplane pillows and blankets since they are not washed. Also, strongly encouraged are earplugs and eye masks.

3. The Diet. The last step to achieve drug-free rest while traveling is to monitor your diet. Diet Cokes and vodka sodas are strongly discouraged because caffeine and alcohol can disrupt sleep patterns.

While these steps seem to be wonderful pieces of advise we here at Queerty will have to rely on our reader's experience when testing these ideas out. Email us and tell us if it works. We love our Grey Goose and Ambien a little too much to give up so easily.