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Dick Cheney
Fri, May 25, 2007
Prays For Sammy's Sinful Soul, Mother

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Mary Cheney knew her child with lesbian lover Heather Poe would cause a stink. Anticipating the conservatives outrage, Vice-President Dick Cheney's daughter released a preemptive statement:

When Heather and I decided to have a baby, I knew it wasn’t going to be the most popular decision. This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate, on either side of a political issue. It is my child.
While some people celebrated Samuel David Cheney's birth on Wednesday, not everyone jumped for joy. Take, for example, Peter LaBarbera, the homophobic leader of anti-gay group, Americans for Truth...

CONTINUED »

Wed, May 23, 2007
We Don't Want To Distract...

• Tory politico, Sir Simon Milton, has come out of the closet and will be marrying his long-time lover, Robert Davis. Of coming out, Milton remarks: "The time was right...We’re happy and excited. I would rather tell people myself than be the subject of rumour.”

• The murder rate for trans California women just keeps on rising

• Despite activist pressure, the FDA won't be lifting its "gay blood" ban.

PlanetOut Inc's stock continues to fall.

Kurt Cobain, Joey Ramone, other dead rock stars live! Wear Doc Martens!

• Ahhhh! It's Kylie Minogue's head! And it's floating!

• Lesbian alleges shelter left her out in the cold: "It was pretty clear the reason she put me on hold is because I said I was a lesbian."

Did Dick Cheney hire hookers? From Roll Call: "Vice President Cheney isn’t not on the phone records of the alleged D.C. Madam, who is accused of running a high-price call-girl ring in Washington, the accused madam’s lawyer said on Tuesday."

Resting Comfortably, Vagina Not So Pleased

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Blesses news from the White House: Vice President Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary Cheney has given birth to a son, Samuel David Cheney. The 8 lb, 6 ounce boy came bursting into the world this morning at 9:46. Miraculously, the lesbian's love child does not have horns or a pointy tail.

Ms. Cheney and her girlfriend, Heather Poe, are no doubt relieved that their controversial child has come out safe and sound. Congratulations to the Cheney family - except for you, Dick. You blow.

In celebration of young Mr. Cheney's birth, Family Pride will be hosting a virtual "baby shower" on which readers can chat about the little bundle of joy.

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Thu, Apr 5, 2007
A First?

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Vice President Dick Cheney told ABC that his lesbian daughter, Mary, and her lesbian lover, Heather Poe, will be having a baby boy, who will not be a lesbian. Bursting with - um - emotion, Cheney told reporters:

I'm delighted I'm about to be a grandparent for the sixth time. I'm looking forward to the arrival of a new grandson.
Congratulations, Mary! Now, for the love of God, keep your bundle away from gramps.

Reliable Source [Washington Post]

Fri, Mar 2, 2007
Seek Condemnation From VP Cheney, Romney, Others

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Ann Coulter again gave new meaning to the word "classy" today when she addressed the American Conservative Union-sponsored Conservative Political Action Conference. The skeletal pundit mused:

I was going to have a few comments on the other Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, but it turns out you have to go into rehab if you use the word ‘faggot,’ so I — so kind of an impasse, can’t really talk about Edwards.
Not surprisingly, the kids of Human Rights Campaign had something to say about it. Read their full release, after the jump.

Also, watch the video her remarks and Mitt Romney's introduction here.

(PS: Could Coulter be Silly Monkey and Silly Kitty's love child?)

CONTINUED »

Mega-Corp. Sees Gay Discrimination Light!!

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That's right folks! The company once headed by VP Dick Cheney has rewritten three policies to protect the 'mos from harassment and discrimination!!

Before we get the party started, we'll let super sappho-journo Kerry Eleveld of The New York Blade dispense the earth-shatteringly straight-forward details:

In a little noticed move last month, Halliburton amended three of its corporate governance policies to protect gays and lesbians from being discriminated against, harassed, or fired simply on the basis of their sexual orientation.

The move came in response to a shareholder resolution filed by the Boston-based investment firm Trillium Asset Management Corporation on behalf of its clients who own Halliburton stock.

So, why all the excitement? Because just law year the company squashed a similar Trillium-endorsed resolution with an SEC-backed technicality. This year they passed it in a matter of days. An early baby present to Mary Cheney, perhaps?

CONTINUED »

Thu, Feb 1, 2007
Doesn't Care About James Dobson

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Daddy Dickie may not want to talk about Mary Cheney's controversial pregnancy, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have something to say on the matter.

Speaking on a panel for Glamour Magazine (yeah, we were kind of surprised, too), 37-year Mary broke it all down:

When Heather [Poe, her girlfriend] and I decided to have a baby, I knew it wasn’t going to be the most popular decision. This is a baby. This is a blessing from God. It is not a political statement. It is not a prop to be used in a debate, on either side of a political issue. It is my child.
Go, girl!

As for James Dobson's equally contentious article in Time Magazine in which Dobson blasted Cheney's dykey decision, insisting that children are better off with a man and a woman, Mary says she's never really cared what he thinks, adding,

Every piece of remotely responsible research that has been done in the last 20 years has shown there is no difference between children raised by same-sex parents and children raised by opposite-sex parents; what matters is being raised in a stable, loving environment.
And if there's anyone who's stable and loving, it's Mary Cheney. As for the rest of her family...well, we suppose Mama Lynn's pretty chill. We don't advise she allow Daddy Dickie too much alone time. He may not be able to resist the urge to sap the child's life force.

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Mon, Jan 29, 2007
Offer Some Gay Gift Suggestions

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Mary Cheney may only be a few months into her lesbian pregnancy, but it's never too soon to start shopping for baby gifts. Offering a helping hand to Grandpa Dick Cheney, the kids over at Radar have compiled a list of some possible presents for the little bundle of controversial joy.

Among their suggestions, you'll find the adorable 15" pride bear, the wholly-appropriate children's book Heather Has Two Mommies and - our personal favorite - the "Warriors of the Rainbow" costume. This girl looks almost as pleased as Dick Cheney did last week on The Situation Room. Hopefully Mary's baby won't inherit his signature snarl.

Fri, Jan 26, 2007
And About How He's Not About Cheney, At Least One Dem. Pres. Hopeful

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Gavin Newsom first caught the national eye back in 2004, when the young San Francisco mayor order city clerks to issue same-sex marriage licenses. Though the nearly 4,000 contracts would later be invalidated by the California Supreme Court, young Newsom became a gay rights icon - and, perhaps, a martyr.

In Switzerland for the World Economic Forum, Newsom sat down to talk to Adam Reuters: Reuters News Agency's special "Second Life" correspondent - you know Second Life: that weird Linden Lab-created virtual world that turns everyone into Sims characters... No matter, Newsom says that the gay-nup move may have hindered his own political growth and at least one Democratic presidential hopeful's not making it any easier:

I’ve basically written myself off of any prospects of running for any different office, and I certainly won’t be appointed by any administration or special councils because I’m a time bomb and too controversial. And I’m not just saying for Republicans.

One of the three Democrats you mentioned as presidential candidates [Obama, Clinton, Gore] God as my witness, will not be photographed with me, will not be in the same room as me, even though I’ve done fundraisers for that particular person not once but twice, because of this issue.

Damn, politicians can be some cold bitches!

And, of course, Reuters can't help but ask Newsom his opinion on VP Dickie Cheney's reaction to poor Wolfie Blitzer's questions about preggers lesbian daughter, Mary:

The Vice President of the United States has a daughter who happens to be in love with another woman, and happens to want to raise a family. Those are fundamental questions that are being debated across this country... Wolf Blitzer was right to ask and Dick Cheney was wrong not to have the dignity to respond in a human way, and the dignity to respond in kind why he continues to advance discriminatory policies that are hurting, not uniting this country.
Dignity? Dick Cheney? Oh, Newsom, you're such a cut up!

Thu, Jan 25, 2007
Wolfie Make Quick Retreat


Via our friends over at Good As You, here's that video of Vice President Dick Cheney resisting the urge to go for Wolf Blitzer's jugular.

We have to say, we're a little disappointed in Blitzer's fall back - we expected more, Wolfie, we expected more...

Wed, Jan 24, 2007
Fights Urge To Eat Brain, Responds Politically

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Get excited, it's a meeting of the minds when Vice-President Dick Cheney appears on today's rousing edition of CNN's The Situation Room with the one, the oddly sexy, Wolf Blitzer!

In addition to discussing yesterday's snooze-worthy (right, John McCain) State of the Union, Blitzer apparently tries to get all girl talk on Cheney and asked about his pregnant lesbian daughter, Mary. Here's some of the transcript, courtesy The Drudge Report:

WB: Your daughter Mary, she's pregnant. All of us are happy. She's going to have a baby. You're going to have another grandchild. Some of the - some critics, though, are suggesting, for example, a statement from someone representing Focus on the Family:

Mary Cheney's pregnancy raises the question of what's best for children. Just because it's possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father, doesn't mean it's best for the child.

Do you want to respond to that?

DC: No, I don't.

WB: She's obviously a good daughter -

DC: I'm delighted - I'm delighted I'm about to have a sixth grandchild, Wolf, and obviously think the world of both of my daughters and all of my grandchildren. And I think, frankly, you're out of line with that question.

WB: I think all of us appreciate -

DC: I think you're out of -I think you're out of line with that question.

Blitzer's lucky to have come out alive.

Fri, Dec 22, 2006
And Also Unborn Child of Indeterminate Sexuality, Gender

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Because everything Mary Cheney lesbian love child-related deserves as much attention as possible, we'd like to inform you that Lynne Cheney, wife of Vice-President Dick Cheney, loves the idea of her aforementioned lesbian daughter birthing and subsequently raising a child with her lesbian lover, Heather Poe. She mused maternal in an interview with Fox News airing Sunday:

Well, I think that it's just very lucky for me that I enjoy being a grandmother and I get to do it for the sixth time...Dick and I both very much looking forward to this new baby.
In a rare move, she stepped out of character and embodied a Jewish grandmother while lamenting, "If only schmucks like James Dobson and his prick friends weren't kvetching all over the place and ruining this mitzvah. It's just so tacky." She promptly burst into flames.

After secret service extinguished Mrs. Cheney, the reporter asked her what she had to say about her beloved husband being called to testify against Libby Scooter in the Valerie Plame leak-case. Mrs. Cheney scratched her charred, hairless head and said, "It seems bizarre to me." Not as bizarre as the fact she had just survived a Yiddish-fueled combustion, but still pretty fucking perplexing.

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