• Did the Knut the polar bear's birth lead to Yan Yan the panda's death? Who knows, but that picture sure is precious! Way more precious than some stupid panda. Literally.

• What do you do when your boyfriend doesn't cum enough? According to homo-journo (and co-called"semen sexpert") Alvin Tan, you either get a new technique or trade him in for a horse. Or you can be thankful you don't have all that clean-up. It can get tricky.

• So, this hag from New Mexico wants to marry her fag, but she doesn't know what to do. Because, you know, he's a fag and she's a hag and...well, you know. In an effort to clear her queer-minded head, she writes to Dear Abby (who, of course, isn't the real Dear Abby. She's dead.). And guess what the fake Dear Abby has to say? Tax breaks do not a marriage make. Shit, could of fooled us.

• If you have a question - any question! - you should definitely ask Margaret Cho. And, if she likes it enough, she'll totally videotape her response.

• Iran may release Faye Turney: the only woman among the 15 captured British soldiers. Discrimination doing good? That's crazy.

• Will Arnett can't stop talking about George Clooney's stunning good looks. Also, Janet Jackson totally doesn't know him, but she knows Jason Bateman. Poor Will...

• The boys from The Dog House on the meaning of on the meaning of "pansy". Click here for their source's definition of "prick".

• Jane Pratt had sex with Drew Barrymore. Related: Jane Pratt has a new radio show.

• Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets all snap happy with some asshole (and asshole loving) photogs.

• The Goonies may be coming to Broadway.

• Underwear company Andrew Christian and Instinct have teamed up for The Blackout Tour during which they'll turn out all the lights and swing glow sticks. DJ Seth Gold insists it's so people can really focus on listening to the music. We think it's so people rub up on each other, but we're also total philistines.

• Meanwhile, another Under Warrior, Ginch Gonch, has teamed up with Jimmy Im and eastern bloc (and us, too) for the weekly party, Good Times. Details after the jump.

[Read On ...]

• Michael Lucas made history at this weekend's GayVN awards, taking home a record fourteen honors, including best non-sexual performance for Savannah Samson (pictured). Mazel to the tov, Savannah. Oh, and to you, too, Michael. [San Francisco Chronicle]

• If you're at all interested in pictures from the GAYVN after-party (and we know you are), then follow the link. [Tim and Roma]

• Titanic director James Cameron found Jesus (or, at least, his so-called "tomb"). [Sydney Morning Herald]

• Our world's just crumbled: Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz smoke pot. How disgraceful... [Mollygood]

• Ed Droste and the other kids from Grizzly Bear have a new video. It's totally creepy. [stereogum]

• Elton John's party netted 4.2 million bones to help fight AIDS. We threw a similar party and we made about five dollars and a bit of lint. We donated the lint and kept the $5. What? We need money, too. [365 Gay]

Every gay man and woman we’ve ever met loves Grey Gardens, the best documentary ever produced. And for good reason. Little Edie and Big Edie are two of the craziest rich people we’ve ever come across. We can never get enough of Little Edie marching down the mansion’s steps to the foyer in her black leotard a la 2005 Madge and boogey down with Old Glory. Well, mom and daughter will be getting the big screen treatment.

Variety reports that Drew Barrymore will play "Little Edie" Beale and Jessica Lange her mother, "Big Edie" Bouvier Beale, in a new drama based on the eccentric socialites immortalized in the gay cult fave documentary Grey Gardens. Written and directed by first-timer Michael Sucsy, this new film—also titled Grey Gardens—will cover 40 years of their lives, and other characters will include Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Ben Bradlee, and Sally Quinn.

Just what we need. A Grey Gardens prequel! And, for once, that’s not sarcasm.

We love Drew - She’s cute and it seems like she’d be the perfect fag hag. And Jessica Lange as momma Edie? She could possess the perfect amount of bitterness and bitchiness to pull of Big Edie with a great over-the-top style.

We can't wait. This movie could be the new What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?

Barrymore and Lange to play the Beales of Grey Gardens [The Advocate]

• The wonders of airbrushing and Photoshop apparent: Drew Barrymore does Missoni. We love her, but we saw her on the Golden Globes and know what she REALLY looks like. [Made In Brazil]

• Yet another Brokeback spoof: the Brokeback Mountain Happy Meal! Giggle. [You Tube]

• Boozhy asks the gay lobby a tough question: “What the F*CK did they do with the money I sent to them? “ [Boozhy]

• Is this really Marlon Brando giving head? You decide. [D Listed]

• AOL launched a gay music channel. You know, an extremely stereotyped gay music channel. Of course, we’ll love it! [Gizmodo]