Britain's National Health Service has some gay men on edge. The government agency plans on polling gaggles of gay men in order to track "safe sex lapsers," who lead sexually dangerous lives.

Officials hope the register will help stem the spread of disease, but gay activists worry such sensitive information could be used against them. Further, many fear the initiative will alienate ass men. Gay Men's Health Charity leader Matthew Hodson worries:

With no evaluated pilot of this initiative, and no evidence that supports it as an effective strategy, HIV charities fear it could undo years of work and alienate many men who do not want to access services in this way.

The NHS has gone out of its way to ensure complete privacy. A spokesman insisted: "The way we collect data will be developed with the successful tenderer and patient confidentiality will be paramount." The organization's words aren't quelling the queers. According to The Guardian, only 17% of gay men will willingly participate.

• British passport authorities refused four-month old Eden Lurie's picture because her hair was deemed "too spiky". To curb the problem, the gave her a digital trim. How thoughtful.

• Meanwhile, another set of British passport authorities have admitted to issuing nine passports to al Qaeda operative, Dhiren Barot. Not only did Barot want to set off a dirty bomb, he also had big dreams of blowing up parking garages with gasoline packed limos. What a chap.

• Another teacher falls prey to anti-gay assaults on free speech. Amy Sorrell of Fort Wayne, Indiana, has been suspended with pay after she allowed students to print a controversial op-ed that included such horrid homo propaganda as: "I can only imagine how hard it would be to come out as homosexual in today’s society. I think it is so wrong to look down on those people, or to make fun of them, just because they have a different sexuality than you."

• Police have finally found the body of Dr Joaquin Leal Bermudez. The Spanish hematologist went missing in Norway back in January. Police soon arrested a suspect found driving Bermudez's blood stained car, but he ain't talking.

• The Russian Orthodox Church still isn't down with gays. The deputy Patriarchate of Moscow says, "The authorities should be acting depending on public opinion which I find quite clear - open propaganda of a gay way of life is rejected by our public, arousing protests and antagonism."

• If Andy Warhol were still alive, he'd be a rich motherfucker. One of the artist's famous Marilyn's (the "Lemon Marilyn", to be specific) may be auctioned for $15 million. It's current owner bought it for $250. Shit, we need to start buying more art...

• Current Swedish law requires all transsexuals be sterilized. Now lawmakers are debating whether to let them freeze their eggs and sperm. Hooray!

• From a reader: "[HX Media owned] In Newsweekly in Boston has informed all of their freelance writers that they will not be paying them for pieces that have already been written and published in the paper. At least one writer immediately removed their column from the paper. They also dumped Q Syndicate which is where they used to get a ton of their freelance material." Note to young homo-journos: look elsewhere for work.

• Tim Hardaway's homophobia makes The Today Show's Ann Curry giggle.

• Gaydar to honor Gary Frisch at party. Poppers not included.

• Rosie O'Donnell wants John Stamos and his big cock, too.

• Margaret Thatcher's made of stone.

• Milli Vanilli to become movie?

• Lifetime takes pity on Carson Kressley.

In other news, British coroners have completed their preliminary autopsy on Gaydar founder Gary Frisch. While some people hoped for the investigation would yield conclusive answers as to how the 38-year old plunged to his death over the weekend, officials unfortunately are no closer to finding the truth.

In fact, there are only more questions. For example, some witnesses have claimed that there was another man at Frisch's apartment when he died, conjecture on which the police refused to comment. Coppers also wouldn't say why they haven't officially identified the body as that of Gary Frisch. They only conceded that the dead man (whomever he may be) died of multiple injuries.

Sounds like we have a mystery on our hands, ladies and germs.

Previously: Gaydar Founder Death Plunge!

A British Councillor, the appropriately named Marc Ramsbottom, insists that he and his lover Tim Hartley will not live in fear after being attacked by a homophobic thug Saturday night.

The gents were walking home through Manchester when the hooligan started railing against them and threw a bottle at Hartley's face. Not looking for a fight, the men turned to walk away. Apparently the man was looking for a fight, because he lobbed another bottle, which hit Hartley on the back of the head. Ramsbottom took Hartley to the hospital, where he received 15 stitches and three staples to the noggin. Of the incident, Ramsbottom said:

I've lived in Manchester since the mid-80s and it is the first time anything like this has happened to me.

It shakes you up but it shouldn't prevent you from going out and enjoying yourself. We were just two innocent people making our way home... It's surprising that in this day and age this kind of thing still happens... I will probably be a bit more careful now about the route I take home. But it's certainly not put me off going out for a drink at night.

That's right, girl! Don't let some nasty hater ruin your fun.

A bit of a culinary controversy over in England. Mad O’Rourke’s Pie Factory, located in Tipton, West Midlands, serves a so-called "Barrymore Pie", which it describes as "Faggots swimming in gravy". While faggots are a common meatball dish, the pie's name's a reference, of course, to the suspicious death of Stuart Lubbock at gay actor Michael Barrymore's house back in 2001.

Not surprisingly, the offering offends gay rights activists, including Outrage! co-founder Peter Tatchell, who says:

This may have been intended as a joke but homophobia is not a subject of fun in the same way racism is not appropriate for a joke.

It seems to us that it's less a case of homophobia and more a case of good old fashioned poor taste.

But, anything for a rise, right?

While we're referencing stories from earlier in the week, we'd like to direct you to a piece in yesterday's Times. Straightforwardly entitled, "Gay tourist hotels fear equality law", the article takes a look at British gay hoteliers who fear that the new UK anti-discrimination laws will adversely effect their businesses. Some of them insist their establishments will suffer from an influx of heterosexuals, thus deflating their gay following. One hotelier says:

We are a unique venue and we only admit gay and bisexual men. Under this law, we would go out of business. This so-called anti-discrimination law is actually discriminatory as it discriminates against gays.

You may recall our story on a lawsuit against roommates.com in which The Fair Housing Council’s of the San Fernando Valley and San Diego allege the website breaks the law by posting "gay only" adverts. In response to that story, we asked whether or not people should be allowed to shape according to sexual proclivities.

CONTINUED »

For the past forty years, Italian Gilbert Prousch and British George Passmore, have worked together to produce some of the art world's most talked about, provocative images. Though many assume they're lovers - they have, after all, lived together for over thirty years - the boys refuse to discuss their sex lives, insisting they're simply artistic collaborators.

Whether they merge personally, they've certainly coalesced creatively, each forming one half of the nominal duo, Gilbert and George: a moniker recognized in nearly all corners of the art world, not least of all at England's Tate Modern, which will unveil a retrospective of their work next month. Looking forward to the event, The Observer's Rachel Cooke sat down with the boys to discuss their mutual history, eccentricities and the perhaps ugly reality behind the art world's pretty veneer. For example, the boys tell Cooke that despite owning a number of their works, The Tate has never, ever put one on display: certainly an odd choice considering their cultural cache. Perhaps, they wonder, there are more powerful cultural forces at work:

George complains that while the Tate owns several of their works, it does not hang them. Why? 'That's a question to ask them. You'd think they'd be plugging the show by hanging one, but they don't even do that.' Nor has any corporate sponsor for the show been found. So, now in their mid-60s, they're still basically the untouchables? 'What, do you think we're dirty?' asks Gilbert, mildly.

George's theory is that homophobia is still alive and well, even in the supposedly liberal and bohemian art world. 'There's a lot of closet gay bashing,' he says... In fact, he thinks the art world and the media are a good deal less tolerant than the man on the street.

We're a little surprised by this statement - we thought all artists were fags. Guess you really do learn something new everyday.

• Do you love us? Do you want us to win the 2007 Bloggie for best LGBT blog? Well, you should head over and vote for us. Seriously, dude, we want your vote. We want it more than we want anything in the entire world. Nay, universe.

• British rapper Q-Boy has signed on to present Channel 4's Coming Out To Class, a special "Gay Week" film about homophobia in schools. Other Gay Week specials include My Big Gay Prom and Mum's Gone Gay.

• Britain's Home Secretary and devout Catholic John Reid spoke out against anti-gay adoption Catholics, saying, "If you bring in a law which says all people will be treated equally, then all people will be treated equally." That's the smartest thing we've heard all week.

&bull, We're not sure which is worse: the fact that Michael Jackson's new album will be produced by Will.I.Am from The Black-Eyed Peas of news that it'll be released via internet.

• We're so grossed out, we just have to let the headline do the talking: "Over a third of gay men with anal infections reported no unprotected anal sex". Use condoms, fools!

• What does Wanda Sykes have to say about Isaiah Washington? Lots of funny shit.

British police are investigating a Muslim sheik known as much for his anti-Western as for his homophobic beliefs. An undercover Channel 4 investigation shows American convert Abu Usamah calling for the establishment of an Islamic state in Britain and the destruction of American hegemony. As if that's not charming enough, Usamah ups the ante with a some old fashioned homo-hating. The Mirror reports:

He urges worshippers to discriminate against homosexuals but in a way that ensures they don't get caught. "If I were to call homosexuals perverted, dirty, filthy dogs who should be murdered, that's my freedom of speech, isn't it?" he says. "But they'll say no, I'm not tolerant."

We suppose he has a point there - it is freedom of speech. Although, we have a feeling investigators are more interested with his global political views than his perspective on the gays.

Usamah's mosque, meanwhile, has attempted to distance itself from the belaboring bigot. Leaders issued a statement saying,

We are a nationwide organization and hold different programs in our mosques. Anyone can air their views. These are his own views, not those of UKIM. We're very concerned about this.

We're sure you are...

There have been two stories of homophobic attacks in Britain over the past two days.

On the surface it would seem that there's some horrific wave of anti-gay violence sweeping the motherland. Dig a little deeper, however, and you'll see there's more than meets the eye.

Take a magical journalistic mystery tour with us, after the jump.

CONTINUED »

For the record, we've never used a sex hotline to get our rocks off. We've got a very active imagination that involves two hands and we've never been one for speaker phone. A one Carl Robert Thomas of the UK, one the other hand, he loves them. How much does he love them? Enough to spend £9,000 of stolen dough on telephonic titillation.

It seems Thomas took it upon himself to steal Liverpool's Anne Jeffrey's SIM card and spend 19 weiner-wacking days on the line. While certainly that's a lot of money, Thomas merely got a slap on his presumably sore wrist. UK law prohibits exhorbant fines for the unemployed, meaning a Liverpool judge could only fine Thomas £500 for his offense, in addition to 12 weeks in jail. Though following the law, Judge Nick Sanders wasn't happy about it. He says:

Your own gratification has caused others to suffer considerably and one can only feel sadness for the victim who faces horrifying debt... I would like to order compensation in full but the law requires me to take into account your means.

Who says masturbation's a victimless crime?

(Image courtesy Matthew Page-Hannify.)