"There was (an) almighty crash, then he just drove off again. It was really bizarre. No one could quite believe what they were seeing."

Who is the cracked-out singing senation who annhilated a row of cars before driving off?

It's none other than our favorite too-old-to-be-partying-like-this superstar...

George Michael! (cue theme music! Dum da dee dee dum shoobie doobie doo...)

It seems Miss Michael was on some mysterious mood-altering substance once again this weekend, crashed into several parked cars, and then drove away. Although he got out of his car first to look at his handywork, which gave several eyewitnesses the chance to recognize him. We know he hasn't had an album out for a while now, and he's hurting for some attention--but there must be a better way to find your way back into the headlines than crashing into cars and then standing out in the open to admire your handywork.

Our favorite part of The Mirror's story: the witness who said "I spotted George Michael just sitting there, staring at us. He didn't look too good for that time on a Sunday morning." Well, you wouldn't look good either, if you had been on a bender since Thursday afternoon, as he undoubtedly was. Long Live the Queen!

George Michael Plays Crashing Cars [MirrorUK]