• President Bush's top domestic policy advisor, Claude Allen--who likes to criticize political opponents for liking "queers"--was caught shoplifting at Target. Said the security guard: "Is that a Todd Oldham lamp in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" Ba dum CHING! [SoVo]

• Liza With A 'Z': The Movie has been found! Apparently Liza misplaced it. Go figure. [Yahoo]

• Australia offers residency to domestic partners of "skilled labor" migrants. They're specifically interested in doctors. And we're guessing "gay blogger" doesn't count for anything. Damn it. [SSO]

• Polygamists are the new gays. [MSNBC]

• Michael Jackson is broke. You know, paying off child molestation victims doesn't come cheap. [Yahoo]

• Gay bathhouse owners filed suit to prove they are not "sex venues." What a relief! Every time we've been to a bathhouse, not a single guy has tried to have sex with us. [LA Times]