Pete Wentz has developed quite a gay following. And for good reason. Fall Out Boy's bassist recently admitted to getting down with the fellas, but only a bit of a snog. No dick action, unfortunately. Make no mistake, he'll readily admit another man's attractive. His distaste for the dick comes not from socially constructed homophobia, but from his distaste for...well, dick.

Speaking with Brandon Voss, the 27-year old rockster remarks:

...Honestly, I’m not a real big fan of penises. Like my own, whenever I look at it, I just don’t find anything attractive about it. I can’t believe girls are into it. It blows my mind a little bit. So that’s the biggest problem. I’d love to share clothes with a dude and have all those benefits, but I just can’t get past that thing. It’s just weird-lookin’.

Speaking of gay epithets, Wentz speaks quite eloquently when discussing another distaste: anti-gay speak...

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We know it's hard to believe, but Paris Hilton's not as well-behaved as you thought. Exhibit A: This video of her dancing around somewhere, yelling "faggot" and
"nigger". Oops, sorry, "The New F-Word" and "The Classic N-Word". SO does this make her both a homophobe and a racist? Maybe. We have a feeling she's probably a little more of one than the other. We'll let you decide which - although, we have to point out that her feud with Nicole Ritchie allegedly started after Paris called her a nigger. Oh, wait, sorry, the six letter racial epithet that starts with n and ends with igger.

We have to admit, we expected more from Ms. Hilton - a rich girl like that surely knows plenty of other malicious monikers. She must have been really drunk.

Seemingly anti-gay humor's popped up in at least three plays this season, spurring openly New York Times theater critic Charles Isherwood to pen a piece on the revival of homophobic slurs in popular culture. The omnipresence of gay epithets, he says:

"...[Raises a question that has been brought to the forefront of the cultural chatter recently in another context: Who is and is not allowed to use — and to laugh at or milk laughs from — derisive names for minorities?
...
Gays and blacks took the language meant to demean them and put it to sly new use when speaking among themselves. Lately, as attitudes have relaxed, it has become easier for the rest of America to join the parties.

Isherwood's concludes by saying we rarely acknowledge this humor's "unfunny origins". Huh? If there's one thing we know for sure, it's that discrimination's a laugh riot. So is rape, murder and - of course, incest. Comedic gold right there.

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The kids over at Good Vibrations just sent us an email asking us to check out their new series of sex ed PSAs. Needless to say we dropped everything and headed over to their YouTube account to peruse the offerings. It took a bit of a vote, but we decided this video - in which "alot of nice people" - chop it up on genital slang.

We don't really have names for our respective genitalia, but if a grown man ever referred to his penis as a "wee-wee", our own would go wee-weak. Just so you know...

It seems that Atlanta's Midtown Ponce residents are all aflutter over an army of transgender street walkers turning tricks outside their doors. In their efforts to keep their streets "safe", they turned to the police for a bit of help.

In response, transgendered activists have argued that so many trannies turn to prositution because of widespread discrimination. The Southern Voice reports:

Members of the Midtown Ponce Security Alliance got a lesson in the discrimination faced by transgender people during the group’s Nov. 13 monthly meeting...

Around 50 residents attended the meeting, including Atlanta Police Department GLBT liaison Officer Darlene Harris. Transgender activists have expressed to Midtown residents that some transgender people turn to the streets as a last resort to make a living due to workplace discrimination.

Alliance members contend their concern is strictly safety and quality of life. They said they’re not singling out anyone because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

...It was obvious there is a deep-seeded dislike, possibly even hatred, for transgender prostitutes. So much so that in organization e-mails and letters to this newspaper from MNA members, they have coined their own term for transgender women who feel forced to sell their bodies for money — “transvestitutes.”

Even the security alliance’s official October 2006 safety report states: “Sgt. Miller stressed that the transvestitutes on our streets are dangerous and one should exercise caution around them. Most of them are doing so to support a drugs habit, making them irrational and potentially violent. They also carry blades and pepper spray, and are quick to attack residents when challenged or observed (especially when taking pictures or observing with binoculars).

Seriously, if Gay Speak weren't dead, we'd totally stick it in there. In fact, transvestitute would be the queen of Gay Speak. You wouldn't fuck with tranvestitute, because transvetitute would totally slash you, cover the cut with pepper spray, slash you again and then sell your body for drug money. And new heels.

(And if you're wondering why we used that picture of Bea Arthur, it's because we're assholes.)

We were just taking down a trip down memory lane and got to thinking about Gay Speak. Remember Gay Speak, our mission to chronicle all the gay-inspired vernacular we love so much? Well, it turns out Gay Speak's got a more visually-minded cousin: Yeah, Spray It!

Above you see a pretty timid variation of Yeah, Spray It!: those sometimes nice, sometimes - er - not so no nice graffiti aimed at the gays. So, we have a mission for you: we want you guys (and gals, as well) to take as many photos of gay-inspired graffiti and send them our way.

Yeah, it's a bit of a tough one, but we know a lot of you guys have cameras, stalk the streets and generally loiter in shady places, so we've got high hopes. We'll do the same (that is, next time we're allowed out of the house).

Oh and if you're wondering why we posted the picture above, it's because we have a friend named Justin. He likes boys. Thus, it's funny 'cause it's true.

They (whoever they are) say all good things must come to an end. While we're not sure if Gay Speak, our nonsensical pursuit of the best homo words and phrases, qualifies as a good thing, it's ending anyway. Yeah, we know, it's hard for us, too.

We'll always cherish our memories of Robert's offensive soy chaser for those with an Asian attraction, Mikey's poo packer, and Joey's gash masher. Jim's multiple suggestions will always hold a special place in our hearts, particularly mangina muncher and sperm burper, which will never, ever stop being gross. We'll even fondly recall Jeffrey's lamely quaint response: normal child of God. (Honey, you may be normal, but we bet most of the people reading this are total freaks. Ourselves included, of course.)

After much head scratching, pacing, and a few frustrated tears, we've selected our favorite Gay Speak suggestion: Barry's cum belching gutter slut. Congratulations, Barry, you must be so proud, you sicko! Our apologies to PJ, whose cum guzzling gutter slut was a close second. The image of burping up semen, however, disturbed us in all right ways. Barry, send your gorgeous editor an email with your address and we'll get your special prize along ASAP.

Alright lads and lassies, we have to say we're a little disappointed in your tackling of the weekend assignment of coming up with more words/phrases for Gay Speak. Only six of you contributed (thanks, peeps), and we like to think that there are more than six people reading this site.

The winner will be announced on Friday, so you've got one more chance to let your lingual talents shine. There have been some really great contributions. Most recently we've been taken by Christopher's "friend's" slang for a butthole: rusty sheriff's badge - a term we find quite fitting, actually. Another astonishing addition comes from Nick, who offered crack snacker for the ladies. It's actually rather unisex, if you think about it.

Meanwhile, the cum gutters vs. cum canals slang war for abs made us a little bit sick and a little bit horny, but that's beside the point. The point is that there's a winner out there, and it may be you, but only if you add something.

Gay Speak now of forever hold your peace, because when this go 'round is done, gay speak's dead. Yeah, you heard right: dead. The winner will be announced Friday. Winner of what? Well, that's a surprise/mystery.

If you've missed out on Gay Speak, do a little research and get in the game, mofo: Gay Speak Archive

Darlings! We cannot put into words how pleased we are with the revival of Gay Speak, our attempt to catalogue as much gay vernacular as possible. Since its miraculous resurrection, we've gotten some real doozies.

Barry, whose sick imagination knows know bounds, offered cum belching gutter slut, while PJ suggested its cousin: cum guzzling gutter slut, both of which warmed the cockles of our demented hearts. Eric's anal spelunker made us laugh out loud, and we absolutely j'adore Jim's alliteratively astounding mangina muncher.

While these are all great, we want more. So, this weekend, while you nurse a hang over, suck a dick, or do whatever it is people with lives do, conjure up some more. Remember, whichever contribution elicits the most twisted giggles gets a prize. What is said prize, you ask? We can't say, but it's better than anything you could ever imagine.

So, what happens if you don't participate? Let's just put it this way: when we're through with you, you'll look worse than the petrified zombie that is Giorgio Armani. Not cute.

Remember Gay Speak, our serial ode to the words lobbed so generously at or by gay people, to or about gay people? We sure do. It's like a burning flame in our already flaming hearts. How can we not adore the flippant series of postings that brought us lingual jewels such as rump wrangler, chutney ferret - a phrase that's wrong on so many levels - pole smoker and the rest?

Jim (whoever you are), you amazed us with a venerable triumverate of offerings: sperm burper (still gross), sword swallower, and pillow biter. You're a hungry one, aren't ya?

But, we digress.

The point is that Gay Speak is back! We expect you to blow your colloquial load all over the show. We know you sickos have some new ones for us, so let's hear 'em. And to up the ante, whomever we deem has the most inappropriate, obscenely funny word, phrase, or action will win a very special prize of an indeterminate nature.

For those whose psyches haven't been totally warped by the classic gay speak, click the tag to catch up. Once you've done that, jump in and join the fun!

As you can tell, we're pretty easily entertained. And if there's one thing, we love a terrible joke. You know, the atrociously corny, grandfather type?

They're the worst, but we like them anyway. Especially when they're gay. Here are a few knee slappers for your afternoon. Okay, well, "knee slapper" is a stretch, but that could be a good edition to gay speak. No?

Q: What do you call a gay bar with no place to sit?
A: A fruit stand!

Q: What does the gay pirate say?
A: Aaaaaaaaren't you gonna suck my dick?

Q: What does a gay man call his testicles?
A: Mud flaps.

Gross. Anyway, we know it's asking a lot, but we'd love to hear your ridiculously simple gay jokes. Send 'em along.

Gay Speak

Earlier this week, we introduced you to "Gay Speak:" the quaint little words lobbed at gays because they're, well, gay. We offered our own and asked you to do the same, with smashing results!

Bummer, nancy-boy, and their cousin nelly slipped our minds. A chap named Ian submitted some real doozies: uphill gardender (we heard that one when we were young. It confused us to no end.), bummer, and shirt-lifter. We're not really sure what shirt-lifter means, so if anyone wants to elaborate...

As an equal opportunity offender, we pleaded for a bit of lezzie lingo. Some of the gems you glittering readers submitted include: carpet muncher, cunt sucker (a bit lewd, which we love), lemon licker and crack-snacker. From the sound of it, you guys seem to think all lesbians do is eat. Chris offers an action, not a word: "She likes to dial 'O' on the pink telephone." Wonder what that conversation sounds like.

It's a long weekend, so use your time off wisely and think of some more. We will not rest until all gay speak has been chronicled! Or until you stop paying attention.