George Michael may be packing his bags. British press are reporting that the troubled 43-year old singer - who just last week admitted to being a drug addict and has been found guilty of driving under the influence - can't handle the tabloid heat:

The kind of media coverage I've been having, I have started thinking for the first time in my life that actually I shouldn't be living there.

I think there are places I could live and still be able to visit home where I would not have to worry about this constant surveillance. I have got to think seriously about whether or not my love for my country is keeping me somewhere which is not good for me.

So, where's the pot-smoking pop star headed? According to TMZ, Dallas, where he has a house. Because, you know, the tabbies won't find him there...

Michael Desperate to Emigrate [Contact Music]

• Just weeks before he's to be sentenced for driving under the influence, British pop star George Michael has admitted he's addicted to drugs, but once again took some time to praise pot:

[My arrest] involves prescribed drugs and it involves a dependency on them and the tendency to chase one drug with another because of side effects.
...
We could sit here with any number of policemen and doctors and they would all tell you if everybody who had a dependence on alcohol changed their mind and had a dependence on weed, the world would be a much easier place to live in.

We weep at your eloquence, dude...

• Warsaw mayor Hanna Gronkiewicz Walz took a stand against the homophobic government and said the town's Gay Pride will go on! We wonder what President Lech Kaczyński will have to say. Probably something in Polish. And not pleasant.

• Julie Enzer has something to say, "Gay Pride is not just poppers and blowjobs!" Only Enzer's version's a little longer. And persuasive.

• Anne Heche's soon-to-be ex-husband alleges the actress "has at times exhibited bizarre and delusional behavior". He obviously missed that whole alien abduction thing...

• Pam Anderson pissed off some paparazzi in Cannes. Apparently they were upset her tits showed up late for the red carpet and bounced away before striking properly perky poses. Poor paparazzi...

• It's just like the 400-pound gorilla in the room, only it's a 400-pound gorilla on the loose! A witness remarked, "Everyone was in panic, running away, screaming, wailing, screaming kids running around, I don't know what all, kids without parents—it was a total drama." Kids without parents and a 400-pound gorilla? That's not drama. That's some shit....

• Need to learn how to give a hand job? Click here.

George Michael may have pleaded guilty to driving while on drugs, but he certainly didn't take complete responsibility for his actions. Sure, he had taken a few pharmaceuticals, but he also blamed "tiredness" for his illegal actions. The 46- year old gay singer told the court:

I am perfectly aware that I did something very wrong and got into my car when I was unfit to drive. I was not in my normal physical state and I'm perfectly prepared to accept the correct punishment for that and I would have accepted it a long time ago. It was fairly predictable considering how much work I had done that week.

It's equally predictable considering that Michael has made his name synonymous with complete fuck-up.

Michael got nabbed last October after police found him slumped over his steering wheel, his car blocking an intersection. He'll be sentenced at the end of the month. Unfortunately poor Michael didn't realize that he could have just accepted a punishment without accepting guilt. Sounds like his lawyer's a fuck-up, too.

Singer George Michael Pleads Guilty [Washington Post]

• It's a miracle! We have tomorrow off. Yes, we know, it's going to be hard for you to go three whole days without our sparkling text. So, to tide you over, here's a little montage from everyone's favorite gay bank robber love story, Plata Quemada. Just pretend we're with you, readers. We'll be back before you know it...

• If you guys don't know rapper Tippy, you should. Seriously, because she's going to be big and it you follow this link, you can tell all your friends about her and look really cool. Not that you're not cool, but a little extra proof never hurts...

• Billy Packer's response to the "fag out" comment? No, he didn't in the gay sense. Yes, he'll continue saying it. No, he won't apologize. Yes, he's a douche bag. Okay, we added that last bit, but it's still true.

• George Michael's in Texas visiting boyfriend Kenny Goss' hometown. And, we're sure, get arrested for either smoking pot, driving recklessly or cottaging. Or, possibly, all three.

• Some nutter walked around the Milwaukee Art Museum for a few hours, removed his shirt, thus revealing numerous tattoos (including one of Koko the gorilla), took the Ottavio Vannini's "The Triumph of David" off the wall and started to kick it. Why did he get so violent with a $300,000 art classic? Because it "disturbed" him. And, as we mentioned, he's a total crazy man.

• More Soulforce arrests! This time three activists got nabbed at Bob Jones University.

• VHS is officially dead. (PS: Did you know VHS was still alive?)

• Whitney Houston won custody of her daughter. As if you're surprised.

• GLAAD released a statement on The Dog House/A Brief Smile scandal. Not surprisingly, they made no mention of our story. They may have forgotten us, but we'll never forget them.

• Speaking of forgetting - did you forget to come to the Queerty-sponsored (and Genre, too), Jimmy Im spun, eastern bloc-housed, Svedka-soaked Good Times last night? Well, see what you missed, after the jump...

CONTINUED »

One almost feels bad for singer/stoner, George Michael. Appearing in court on charges of being unfit to drive and pot possession, the singer got a bit of a nasty surprise when prosecutors added being under the influence while driving. This is the second time in a matter of months Michael's faced such a charge. NME reports:

At Brent Magistrates' Court in London prosecutor Andrew Torrington added the charge of being in charge of a vehicle while unfit through drugs.

The singer was arrested on October 1 last year on suspicion of being unfit to drive and for possession of a substance believed to be cannabis. He was charged before Christmas with being unfit to drive through drugs.

Poor, poor George. If only he could get high in the privacy of his own home, like everybody else. Or, at the very least, get himself a driver...

Related: George Michael Can't Stop Puffin'

We didn't think we'd ever find a 1980s era George Michael collaboration that could top his team-up with Smokey Robinson for "Careless Whisper". But, we did: this video with Aretha Franklin for "I Knew You Were Waiting". It makes us all warm and shit. Although it's a bit hard to believe anyone's still waiting around for Georgie Boy. As for Aretha - we're sure she gets hers...

In a move the shocked the world absolutely nobody, George Michael pleaded not guilty to charges of "unfit driving" and pot possession. You may recall that Michael got nabbed by cops after slumping over the wheel of his 'Cedes in the middle of a London intersection (so, really, he wasn't driving at all).

Michael's lawyer delivered the plea and argued that a blood test taken the night of the arrest didn't follow legal procedure and, thus, should be tossed like a dusty roach. The AP reports:

Judge Katherine Marshall provisionally set a trial date for April 23, but Payton said blood samples taken from Michael on the night of his arrest were not legal, meaning the trial should be scrapped.

"Are you saying prosecution should not take place because it is unfair?" Marshall asked.

"Indeed," Payton said.

Indeed, indeed.

Fresh from a jaunt to Russia, Michael didn't show for the plea, nor does he have an obligation to appear April 23, which is good because he'd probably forget about it, anyway. Plus, it gives him more time to chill with Andrew Sullivan.

Related: George Michael Can't Stop Puffin'

You see before you the inaugural installment for The Youth Issue. Pretty exciting, no?

When planning out the issue, we had a bit of struggle deciding how to start it off. Then we realized there's really no better choice than legendary homo-journo, Michael Musto (pictured, circa 1964). He's been snarking it up since before we even knew the meaning, targeting closeted celebrities long before Perez Hilton and generally being fabulous for more years than we can count (but, to be fair, we can't count above seven).

In celebration of the publication of his new retrospective collection, La Dolce Musto, editor Andrew Belonsky and Musto got all cozy like at New York City's B Bar for a little post-work heart-to-heart. If ever there were a conversation to read, this is it - seriously, it's got more delicious bits than an Equinox gym.

Such as? Well, such as Musto's remembrance of ACT UP, a particularly memorable Michael Alig party and his explanation of why Joan Crawford's a total liar.

CONTINUED »

News stories of men fucking around in public are nothing new. Shoot, George Michael could fill a book with his public indecency charges. So, hearing that Knoxville police have arrested and charged fifteen men with indecent exposure in Tyson Park really isn't the big of a deal. In fact, we probably would have mentioned it in QueerFeed or Happy Endings, offered a (hopefully) clever one-liner and called it day.

Reading over this story, however, we felt more sick than the thought of Madeline Crabb's vagina, even in mid-summer.

No, it wasn't for lack of food, we've grown accustomed to those pains by now - what's distressing about this story is the tone of the piece. Knoxville's My Network News (the most ghetto of the news establishments, if it can even be called as such) reports: "Knoxville police say the homosexual population has been gathering here, using the park as their meeting point." The homosexual population? We don't mean to channel GLAAD here, but that's just ridiculous. That phrase reeks of sexual panic. Consider Lt. Mark Presley's comments:

[The Park] for families, for children and everything and for folks to come and enjoy, but when you're having illicit sexual activity like these folks are doing, in a public park, it takes away the family... We put pressure on them in the other parks, such as Sharp's Ridge, Fort Dickerson places like that, they've moved down to an area that's harder for us to manage and for us to do surveillance on... They move to the place where they think we're not looking or patrolling as intently

Not only does he refer to gays as if they're some horrible virus, devouring everything in their path, but Parsley does double damage by implying gay people threaten families. Okay, so you really shouldn't be sucking dick in front of children (the men were allegedly reported by kiddies), but Parsley makes it seem as if faggotry will suck down the very marrow of a moral society like so much semen. Please...

As if that's not enough, the report goes on to list all the men arrested. We're sure more than a few covers were blown on that one. We can live with the objectification and even the perpetuation of anti-family myths, but calling out people involved seems bit severe. What is this? Fucking Uganda?

You may recall that we posted three Christmas themed videos yesterday. We had Mariah Carey's wish-filled serenade, Nirvana singing to RuPaul and the Kenneth Hill offering "The Gayest Christmas Video Ever". So we've pretty much blown our Christmas load.

In honor of Global Orgasm Day, we want to blow another kind of load and have selected three splooge worthy videos. After the jump, you will find the following: David Banner's "Play", George Michael's "I Want Your Sex", and Toni Braxton's "You're Making Me High".

We've included explanations for all.

CONTINUED »

"This is incredible!" That's what we said when we found this video of George Michael and Smokey Robinson singing the classic "Careless Whisper". The icing on the cake is Bill Cosby's introduction and accompanying Japanese text.

Despite a series of drug arrests - the most recent of which involved him stoned and slumped behind the wheel of his vehicle - George Michael decided it was in his best interest to spark a spliff during a television interview.

Sitting down with a Spanish film crew as part of a documentary on his new tour, Georgie Boy waxed philosophical on his dagga love:

This is the only drug I've ever thought worth taking...

This stuff keeps me sane and happy. I could write without it...if I were sane and happy. I'd say it's a great drug - but obviously it's not very healthy. You can't afford to smoke it if you've got anything to do.

You've got to be in the right position to take it. You've got to have achieved most of your ambitions, because it chills you out to such a degree that you could lose your ambitions.

You can, however, take a toke if your amibitions include the folllowing:

A. Cruising for sex in the woods.
B. Crashing into parked cars.
C. Getting arrested for smoking pot.

Luckily, Michael has excelled in all of the above. He's either a stoner's worst nightmare or the best thing ever. We can't decide. We're far too faded to form an actual opinion, so we're going to take the pothead default and let someone else make the decision for us.

Any takers?