Earth's days are totally numbered. Not only are we in the middle of a protracted world war, being ravaged by a tireless retrovirus and watching as millions starve, but the planet seems to be getting hotter everyday. While Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio and a slew of other hot stars have joined the Global Warming crusade, some scientists think it may be too late to change earthling's Earth destructing ways. Rather than spend time educating people on cutting carbon emissions and the such, they're just going to take control of the weather:

Frustrated with the limits of public policy to tackle global warming, some scientists say the time has come to engineer a way to control the weather.
...
One idea put forth by a physicist involved in climate-control discussions would involve bombarding the Arctic stratosphere with specially engineered particles to deflect the sun’s rays, thereby lowering temperatures.

[Read On ...]

We’ve loved BUTT since we discovered our own... Well, okay, that’s not true. We’ve loved BUTT since its 2001 inception. And it’s grown like a five-year old, too. Only bigger. BUTT’s so big, in fact, even straight men have been turned on to the Amsterdam-based pink-papered lit-porn fag rag.

Nerve's Sarah Sundberg writes:

I began to notice Butt surfacing in unexpected places. The first time it happened it barely registered — a straight friend mentioned he liked the irreverent style of BUTT's bedside interviews.
...
Suddenly it seemed to be everywhere... BUTT, the gayest magazine in existence, is achieving name-recognition that signals more than simple crossover appeal — it is sincerely resonating with straight men.

[Read On ...]

Michael Brown headed the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), when Hurricane Katrina slammed into the Louisiana coastline, demolishing as many lives as it did homes. Not to mention forever tarnishing our nation's image as the great provider.

Following the disaster, President Bush famously said, “Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job.” Of course, this is coming from a man who created his own special semi-savant vocabulary. As days progressed, we discovered that, as usual, no one in the White House knew what the fuck was going on.

Instead of spending time and energy to focus on the emergency at hand, they focused on who would take the inevitable fall. The spinning blame game is something that this administration has taken to an Olympic level. It is fairly obvious that Mikey became the Satan of Katrina, because we all know “he’ll eat anything.”

Our favorite trouble-maker, Jack E. Jett had a little chat chat with the man many accuse of being responsible for the decline of western civilization as we know it. A brave chap, Jett wanted to face the alleged evil head on and find out more about his “strategery.” From what we hear, they boys got on famously and Jett remarks, "I found Mr. Brown to be bright, intelligent, far less bitter than he should be and with a great sense of humor".

We should hope so - a stick in the mud would have been washed away long ago.

[Read On ...]

Global warming seems to be the cause du jour. Everyone from Leo DiCaprio to that old lady down the road has come forward to fight our precious planet's not-so-slow and painful thaw. According to Daniel Clark over at National Ledger, it's not just the ice caps that are melting. It's men's balls.

To Clark, the fight against global warming has inadvertantly become an assault on "guyhood", whatever that means. His words:

The latest point of emphasis in the global warming movement is that cattle farming endangers the planet by producing too much methane. So now, steaks and hamburgers are classified as instruments of destruction, along with large vehicles, lawn mowers, and charcoal grills. It can't be much longer before cowboy movies, cigars and hockey are held to be enemies of the earth as well.

This has got to be the most blatant assault on guyhood since ABC moved Coach to the same night as Roseanne...

[Read On ...]

• In other bullshit-related news: Brian Juergens spent his time watching VH1's Flava of Love spin-off I Love New York last night and he thinks he smells a bit of homophobia. We smell something else.

• And how about some more: another year, another continent, another war front? Pardon us while we wretch.

• Suzanne Somers: how one celebrity overshadows dozens of people's charred dreams...

• Happy birthday belated 22nd birthday to Ted Haggard's former preaching post: The New Life Church. May it be bullshit free.

• 2006 ranks as the warmest year in history. More proof the planet's fucked. (You know, just for a change of pace.)

• Definitely not bullshit: Michael Musto's reading from his new book over at the Barnes and Noble on 6th Avenue and 22nd Street in good old NYC. 7pm. After party at Room Service. Totally bullshit free. (Now, that's bullshit.)

We can all agree that this summer has been sickeningly hot. We've been sitting like blobs in front of our air conditioner for weeks now, cursing the greenhouse effect, and now another big, loud-mouthed blob is joining the chorus.

Televangelist Pat Robertson has recently declared himself a "convert" in that he now believes global warming is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. When we heard about this, all we could think about was Wal-Mart's recent announcement of its aggressive green, sustainble agenda for the coming years.

We expect next that Pat Robertson will see the light on gay issues after summering in P-Town. He only needs to be invited.

Heat makes Pat Robertson a global warming "convert" [Reuters via GayOrbit]