Fucking Naomi Campbell must have the best guardian angel ever. Despite the fact that she's atttacked no less than four assistants, the vicious model got a mere five days community service for throwing her crystal-encrusted Blackberry at her main, Ana. Appearing in Manhattan court yesterday, Campbell "apologized", saying: "I am very sorry... The cell phone hit Ana. This was an accident because I did not intend to hit her." We're sure she meant to say, "I'm sorry I didn't knock that bitch out, fucking incompetent maid. Oooo, if I get my hands on her!"

The judge ordered Campbell to pay $363 in medical expenses and serve five days of community service. Her lawyer successfully argued for an indoor service, saying he worried about Campbell's "security". Um, right. Who in their right mind's going to try to fuck with Naomi Campbell? You'd have to be a complete moron to tussle with that girl. She'd totally rip you apart and strut all over the itty-bitty pieces. And then eat them.