Britain's National Health Service has some gay men on edge. The government agency plans on polling gaggles of gay men in order to track "safe sex lapsers," who lead sexually dangerous lives.

Officials hope the register will help stem the spread of disease, but gay activists worry such sensitive information could be used against them. Further, many fear the initiative will alienate ass men. Gay Men's Health Charity leader Matthew Hodson worries:

With no evaluated pilot of this initiative, and no evidence that supports it as an effective strategy, HIV charities fear it could undo years of work and alienate many men who do not want to access services in this way.

The NHS has gone out of its way to ensure complete privacy. A spokesman insisted: "The way we collect data will be developed with the successful tenderer and patient confidentiality will be paramount." The organization's words aren't quelling the queers. According to The Guardian, only 17% of gay men will willingly participate.

• San Francisco's Department of Human Services has launched an ad campaign to recruit gay parents to adopt.

• Meanwhile, the San Francisco Chronicle have clarified their report on the aforementioned ad campaign. The newspaper originally cited Family Research Council's Paul Cameron as an "expert" on the matter. They neglected, however, to mention that he's been debunked by the American Psychological Association and hates gay people. Oops!

• On that note: the APA formed a "task force" to review research on ex-gay conversion therapy. Oh, we're sorry - "therapeutic responses". APA president Dr. Sharon Stephens Brehm bursts with joy: "I am pleased to announce the initiation of this task force. Its work will be of significant value as it will help inform all mental health practitioners about appropriate and effective therapeutic responses to sexual orientation. I look forward to the group's report." That could be good for the children.

• National Runaway Switchboard has published a new brochure for gay teens, "Being Out, Being Safe". NRS director Maureen Blaha remarks, "Research shows that LGBTQ youth are four times more likely to exhibit the symptoms of major depression than heterosexual youth -- which may lead to a runaway episode". Be sure to pack a lunch!

• "Shirley Q. Liquor" - a black face drag comedienne - did an interview with Rollingstone. Jasmyne Cannick - a black sappho-journo - wrote a rebuttal. NSFC (Not safe for children).

• In other baby-related news, here's a baby playing with a cobra! No word on whether the parents are gay.

• Pictures of celebrities smoking pot. Grownup children!!

• Plague strikes Denver zoo! Do not take your kids there. They will die. And so will you... (In fact, don't go to Colorado at all.)

• Looking for a movie about 1980s Liverpool gay teens who venture into a magical trans bar? Well, look no further: The Fruit Machine's out on DVD. Now you can go to the Denver zoo.

Testicular cancer's the most prevalent cancer among men between 14-40 years old. One's chance of getting the ball busting disease are about 1 in 250. Yet, most men still don't talk about testicular cancer, let alone take the proper precautions to prevent it.

That's why Britain's Embarrassing Illnesses invited the Moseley Rugby team on to do a little how-to how-do-you do. Rest assured the cameras get up in there to cut through any cockamamie confusion.

The pics aren't safe for work, but they're definitely good for your health.

OMG, they're naked: Moseley ruggers [!! omg blog !!]

What makes you you? For decades scientists, religious leaders, politicians and even your mother have wondered what goes into the making of a gay, straight or somewhere inbetween. 60 Minutes recently gave the topic a throughout workout. And with some surprising results.

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Remember the report saying that cocksuckers and pussy lickers with more than five oral sex partners are 250% more likely to get oral cancer?

Well, Out wants to know what you're going to do about it. The way we figure, we're probably already fucked, so might as well go out and get cum faced...

(PS: That picture's sick. Everyone knows semen congeals within minutes. Either this model's partner had quite a load or he had more than five contributors. Or, of course, he likes curdles.)

• RuPaul Andre Charles returns to the silver screen in Starrbooty. The leggy drag star stars as supermodel/agency operative who goes undercover to save her niece from an organ thief.

• Head on over to Twerking to see all the cute boys (and girls) from last night's Queerty-sponsored, eastern bloc-housed, Svedka-soaked weekly party, Good Times.

• We're totally fucked: "People who have had more than five oral-sex partners in their lifetime are 250% more likely to have throat cancer than those who do not have oral sex, a new study suggests."

• The New Yorker takes a stab at Banksy.

• Is soon-to-be former PM Tony Blair the world's first metrosexual politico? And will Queen Elizabeth name him "Lord Blair of Baghdad"?

• Lord John Browne got fucked. With no vaseline...

• Melanie Griffith versus Aging: no contest.

• Because the world needs Terminator 4.

• Baltimore city official on Rush Limbaugh billboard defacement: "It looks like they took globs of paint and threw it on his face. It looks great. It did my heart good."

We've got nothing but love for Ricki Lake, so we have to give a shout-out to the Hairspray star for quashing her chubby demons.

The 38-year old actress flaunts her new look in this week's Us, telling the tab-rag:

For the longest time, when I was very heavy, I couldn’t cross my legs. I couldn’t physically do it. LOVE that I can cross my legs now...

Speaking of not closing one's legs, Lake also chats with Us about her new baby-centric documentary, The Business of Being Born.

We may love her, but we suspect hordes of postpartum mama's are shaking their fists at her banging body. Better watch out, Lake, those bitches get mean.

• Crazy comedy duo Joey and David drum up some laughs with this Gap-spoof. Also, QueerSighted's Kenneth Hill thinks that David's "hot". Pass it on.

• Hyatt Hotel ain't down with gay romance. A Houston branch of the hotel chain removed gay romance novelist Lauren Baumbach's very homo promotional materials. When she tried to reason with a customer service representative, he cut her off, "I’m not discussing this with you.” Must not be much of a reader.

• Boy George allegedly has a history of hiring whipping boys. From pop bitch: If George's New York neighbours are to be believed, [Auden] Carlsen is not the first escort he's picked up for this purpose. One tells us that George often brought young chaps back to his apartment for a session with whips and chains. The neighbour regularly resorted to banging on the walls and shouting, "Can you just finish him off quietly, for Christ's sake!"

• White House tells Press, "Only you can or cannot support Tony Snow."

• The World of Coca-Cola Museum will host an Andy Warhol exhibit. Because how else will the World of Coca-Cola Museum be taken seriously/get visitors/get press?

• Iron Man's movie suit revealed! (PS: Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man? Our nerd side says, "no", but our inner art fag says, "yes".)

• Illinois lawmakers are considering a bill to abolish the written consent law for HIV test. If passed, doctors will be able to test patient's blood without their approval and/or knowledge. While this may help curb infection rates, it also blurs the line between a person's rights and public health. Should doctors try to stem HIV, even if it means violating a person's right to privacy?

Anal cancer's a real pain in the ass. Literally. Once infected, the subject's subjected to slow-growing tumors that invade from the outside in, burrowing deeper into their anal cavities. It may elicit a chuckle from a few of you, but rest assured it's no laughing matter.

The American Cancer Society estimates that in 2007 about 4,650 new cases of anal cancer will be diagnosed in the United States. The number of new anal cancer cases has been increasing for many years.

These numbers continue to rise because of the constant spread of the the human papilloma virus: the same virus can lead to cervical cancer in women.

The disease may not have the largest fatalities in disease history, but they're certainly significant...

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• We found this video over at Best Week Ever and thought we'd pass it along to you. If you ever needed proof that Fox News is a bigger joke than The Daily Show, here it is. Seriously, the anchor's laughing through the entire vasectomy story. There's nothing funny about men getting their tubes tied. Nothing. Vasectomies are totally, unequivocally unfunny. We're not kidding. Okay, we are kidding, but Fox News still sucks impotent balls.

• Ah! Gonorrhea has totally gone super bug!! Does sex have a future?

• German scientists have successfully made "immature sperm" from bone marrow. Wow, talk about fucking with nature. Of course, it's for a good cause: if they can whip these little puppies into shape, they may be able to help with fertility treatment. Or lead to the end of civilization as we know it. It's a toss up.

• Shia LaBeouf will appear in the next Indiana Jones movie. Of course, it'll take another five thousand years for it to be made, but we're sure it'll be worth the wait. That is, if Harrison Ford doesn't die first.

• Turns out the cocaine soda is just as illegal as the real thing. Well, it's marketing is, at least.

• Government looking to dismantle the internet? But where will we go?

• Alvin Tan's older than dirt. And proud of it.

• We know Monday's the furthest thing from your mind right now, but we just wanted to tell you to be on your best behavior for guest editor Gregory Angelo! The former Next EIC will be filling in for that vacation-taking shit bag, Andrew Belonsky. Where's Belonsky off to? Hell. He's got a hot date. Get it? Show Mr. Angelo some love... or else we'll have to send the zombified Giorgio Armani to eat your brains. Scary shit, that...

Mankind's sex obsessed. Not just the acts of sex, but the facts of sex. For example, what causes Sam's proclivity for whips, while Sally prefers chains? What makes one person desire one thing, while their lover yearns for another? Some shrinks may lay the blame on childhood memories, but some scientists are looking at the more nebulous realm of desire.

Writing for The New York Times, Natalie Angier takes a look at the birds, the bees and everything inbetweens:

Unabashed about acting on their academic appetites, sexologists have gained a wealth of new and often surprising insights into the nature and architecture of sexual desire. They are tracing how men and women diverge in their experience, and where they converge. They are learning how and why people pursue the erotic partners they do, and the circumstances under which those tastes are either fixed or fluid.

Historically, sex research has focussed on the acts themselves - the dirty deeds that inform one's so-called sexual identity. New research suggests, however, that sex isn't so much about the acts as the arousal - the seemingly backward prerequisite for desire.

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Australia's health officials are also under the gun this morning. They're accused of incompetence after failing to track and restrain an HIV positive man named Stuart McDonald. McDonald allegedly used Gaydar to find partners and then knowingly infecting them with HIV. Witnesses in the case claim that when asked about infecting other men, he carelessly replied, "that's their problem". Charming.

Speaking to reporters, Health Minister John Hill defended his and his department's actions. Not only did they not here about McDonald until March 16th, they were told not to blow up McDonald's spot - such an action may have spurred him to flee into the night. Hill insisted:

I think the public has a right to be protected from somebody who's recklessly endangering lives by spreading HIV/AIDS and so as soon as I heard, we took action.

I don't know when his behavior accelerated to the state where there were concerns. That's what we need to establish.

Officials are also trying to determine if McDonald himself infected twelve men or if he infected one who went on to infect others.

This is the second such case in so many weeks: Michael John Neal's on trial for knowingly infecting sexual partners with the nasty retrovirus. And, as in the McDonald case, health officials have been criticized for inaction. It seems to us that people are point their fingers unnecessarily. Health officials are people, not gods. The only way to effectively track all HIV patients would be to have a massive register, electronic tags or round 'em all up in a camp, none of which seem realistic. Or particularly legal.

HIV+ man detained for reckless transmission [Pink News UK]