How many of you got drunk last night? We certainly did. Not only that, but we went on a smack binge that would make Lou Reed blush. It got pretty ugly - we woke in a ditch next to a dead hooker mumbling, "Why, oh why are we such haggard, drug-addled wrecks?" The dead hooker wasn't talking, so we're still pretty clueless. Lucky for us, The University of Buffalo's Research Institute just received a $579,325 grant to study the correlation between gender and sexuality and alcohol abuse.

Funded by the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the four-year study hopes to draw a conclusive link between queerness and self-medication. 365 Gay reports:

The five-year study will involve 400 gay and bi men and women. The research will include alcohol use and interpersonal violence, "including childhood sexual abuse, sexual assault, and intimate partner violence" said Dr. Amy Hequembourg who will lead the study.

In uncovering these connections, researchers hope to tailor prevention programs to queer needs. Hequembourg continues:

Understanding risk and protective factors for this population could greatly enhance the effectiveness of alcohol and victimization prevention, early intervention and treatment efforts.

While this study's certainly innovative, it seems a little excessive. Couldn't they just go to a bar and get some fags to bitch and moan? It'd be far less complicated and then they could spend that dough on something useful, like some strong drinks. We're positively itching.