How can you tell your house was built by a lesbian carpenter?

It's all tongue-in-groove work, with no studs.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

Mega-sore-ass

How do you make an old queen scream twice?

First you fuck him in the ass.

Then you wipe your dick on his drapes.

This one's a physical joke, so it's hard to describe (only smart people will get it).

Why do gay men go like this? [Hold your arm up and let your wrist go limp]
Because there's not always enough room to go like this! [make wildly fabulous, broad gestural motions with your both arms, finishing it off with a show of jazz hands]

And what about the two gay irishmen? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick

Mark, Rick and Steve are sitting in a funeral home after their lovers have all passed away.

Mark: My partner loved to sail. I'm going to release my lovers ashes into the ocean so he can sail the ocean one last time.

Rick: My partner was a great pilot and loved to fly. I'm going to release his ashes from a plane so he can soar through the air one last time.

Steve: That's nothing. My partner was such a great lover that I'm going to put his ashes in a big pot of chili and let him tear up my ass one more time.

How can you tell you've been to a gay picnic?
The weiners taste like shit.

Two gay guys were in the shower together when one looked down and saw a puddle of white liquid. He said to the other man, What did I tell you about farting in the shower?

Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?
They kept trying each other.

How can you make a gay man scream twice?
First fuck him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.

Why did the little Greek boy run away from home?
He didn't like the way he was being reared.

Why do so many gays have mustaches?
To hide the stretch marks.

Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
Went around blowing fuses.

How does Clay Aiken remove a condom?
He farts!

What's the difference between a priest and acne?
Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13.

Follow up to David....

Why did the little Greek boy come home?
He couldn't leave his little brothers behind.

In Greece, how do they seperate the men from the boys?
Crowbars!
(Also apparently in Congress...)

There were two queers driving down the road, when suddenly they're rear-ended by a 18-wheeler. Both vehicles pull to the side of the road, & one of the queers jumps out of his car & storms over to the 18-wheeler.
Looking up at the driver & speaking with a serious lisp, says:
"I'm gonna sue! "I'm gonna sue! "I'm gonna sue!
The truck driver looks down at him with disdain & says:
"Suck my cock, Faggot!"
The queer, with a surprised look on his face, runs quickly back to his own car & looks in the driver window at his queer buddy with that still surprised look.
His buddy asks:
"What's wrong?! What'd he say?! What'd he say?!"
The queer looks back at his buddy with a gleeful smile coming across his face & starts chanting:
"We're settling out of court! We're settling out of court!"