Very serious question: I always wondered if I can call David LaChapelle gay because he's dated Amanda Lepore who's all too woman to me.

Know what I mean? I don't see him as one of "us"...Maybe I need an education.

David may be inspired by Vonnegut's novel "Galápagos," in which all of humanity is wiped out by a virus except for a few survivors on an isolated island. Eventually, their offspring evolve into adorable furry seal-like creatures of limited intelligence.

Considering the rich genetic bouquet that a LaChappelle/Pam Anderson union would create, I don't think an outcome like Vonnegut's would require all that many generations.

It would seem to me that farting loudly enough often enough would be more than enough to keep the birds away.

Maybe LaChappelle is more courageous than the rest of us, since global warming may make Hawaii uninhabitable in the not-distant future. Not to mention the damage likely to hit Hawaii when the expected earthquakes hit Japan and create tsunamis that wipe out Hawaii.