• Did the Knut the polar bear's birth lead to Yan Yan the panda's death? Who knows, but that picture sure is precious! Way more precious than some stupid panda. Literally.

• What do you do when your boyfriend doesn't cum enough? According to homo-journo (and co-called"semen sexpert") Alvin Tan, you either get a new technique or trade him in for a horse. Or you can be thankful you don't have all that clean-up. It can get tricky.

• So, this hag from New Mexico wants to marry her fag, but she doesn't know what to do. Because, you know, he's a fag and she's a hag and...well, you know. In an effort to clear her queer-minded head, she writes to Dear Abby (who, of course, isn't the real Dear Abby. She's dead.). And guess what the fake Dear Abby has to say? Tax breaks do not a marriage make. Shit, could of fooled us.

• If you have a question - any question! - you should definitely ask Margaret Cho. And, if she likes it enough, she'll totally videotape her response.

• Iran may release Faye Turney: the only woman among the 15 captured British soldiers. Discrimination doing good? That's crazy.

• Will Arnett can't stop talking about George Clooney's stunning good looks. Also, Janet Jackson totally doesn't know him, but she knows Jason Bateman. Poor Will...

• The boys from The Dog House on the meaning of on the meaning of "pansy". Click here for their source's definition of "prick".

• Jane Pratt had sex with Drew Barrymore. Related: Jane Pratt has a new radio show.

• Joseph Gordon-Levitt gets all snap happy with some asshole (and asshole loving) photogs.

• The Goonies may be coming to Broadway.

• Underwear company Andrew Christian and Instinct have teamed up for The Blackout Tour during which they'll turn out all the lights and swing glow sticks. DJ Seth Gold insists it's so people can really focus on listening to the music. We think it's so people rub up on each other, but we're also total philistines.

• Meanwhile, another Under Warrior, Ginch Gonch, has teamed up with Jimmy Im and eastern bloc (and us, too) for the weekly party, Good Times. Details after the jump.

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We were going to write something on Janet Jacksons' new album, but judging from the comments on yesterday's posting, you guys have already formed opinions. While some of you love the album, others aren't so pleased. For our part, we're somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, we thought we'd do our part to bring people together by posting the video from Janet's classic "What Have You Done For Me Lately?" That's something we can all enjoy. (Unless you're some sort of monster.)

Spend a couple minutes to Janet tell her man exactly what she thinks of his no good ways. After the jump, girl!

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We haven't quite decided how we feel about Janet Jackson's new album, so we're going to hold off on a review (as if you're going to listen to us, anyway). Unsurprisingly, "So Excited," has infected us. Sure, the beats are a bit uninspired, but it's still pretty infectious. And, we heart Janet for life.

To mark our pseudo-obsession, we're posting Janet's performance from Oprah two days ago. The choreography may be a snooze, but we know you're easily entertained, and who can resist a little Janet in the morning hours?

Also, do we see Brian Friedman: that horrible mess from So You Think You Can Dance? in there? Bleck.

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• Though he dissed us in his diss of Madonna we are still loving Rich’s site. His Madonna commentary is not our feelings exactly, but we think he makes many valid points. But coming from a Janet Jackson fan, you gotta take it all with a grain of salt. Check out the comments section in the Madonna thread for more on the subject of Madge and The Gays.

• Two women with better vocal chops and songwriting abilities than Madonna are releasing albums today. Run and get the new stellar albums by Kate Bush and Cyndi Lauper. Rolling Stone agrees with us. Then again, they like the new Madonna a lot too.

• The B Squad is back. Their movie is titled Valtrex, and obviously it’s not safe for work.

• Club Fly is just what the homo traveler needs. It’s Google Maps for gay bars and will be a valuable travel companion when you’re in a foreign city and want to get friendly with the locals.

• Last week we told you about Jackie Beat’s garage sale. Tickets for her Christmas show are now on sale. It is the funniest show of the year.

• “When he told me he was gay I wanted to take a lamp and bash him in the face with it," is what author Terry McMillan says about her husband’s outing himself. Oprah will hear the whole story on Wednesday.

• Janet Jackson denies she popped out a daughter 18 years ago. Sounds like she's following the Michael Jackson school of thought: Deny! Deny! Deny!

• Boston wants to spend $100,000 to attract more gays and lesbian travelers. What a waste of money. We can't think of a better promotional campaign than being the capital of the only state with legalized same-sex marriage.

• Henry Rollins claims he isn't gay. Yet in the same interview he raves about the homo-heavy flick Capote. He also loved Flightplan, In Her Shoes, and, like us, is just peeing his pants in anticipation of Brokeback Mountain.

• And speaking of Capote, it's been nominated, along with Brokeback, for Best Feature in this year's IFP's Gotham Awards. Good going, fellas.

• In attempting to ban gay marriage in Texas, Republicans have worded the law so it could potentially ban all types of marriage. Hmm, this sounds familiar. (Fourth item)

• Adrian Grenier of Entourage fame was spotted at the gay bar Starlight buying drinks. "He said he was just there with a gay friend," reports a spy to the Daily News. His gay BOYfriend, perhaps?

• Robbie Williams shakes his pecker. Via Andy via Trent.

• Janet Jackson has an 18-year-old child who has been raised by sister Rebbie. Thank God Michael was not involved.

• A Jell-O version of San Francisco has been unveiled. Makes sense, you know, rainbow colored and fruity.

• Across the country lower class and middle class queens are outraged. Broadway shows top out at $110 a ticket.

• Liz Smith says the Roxy is closing next year. Across NYC The Gays weep. Thanks Brian.

We hop onto Made in Brazil whenever we need to scratch that half-naked guys from Rio itch we seem to get much too often. And each time we do, we yearn to return to that South American hotspot populated with the hottest guys South of the Equator.

Our favorite gay place in Rio is Ipanema's Farme Beach where you get to see oodles of skin in the tiniest of swimming suits. And don't think you're the first to cleverly alter the lyrics of that Tom Jobim song to the "Boy From Ipanema." We all do it. One thing to keep in mind is that muscle men here are called Barbies. That's because they're damn fine and not because they dress in high heels and sequin gowns.

You'll want to stay close to Ipanema, so book a room at the Caeasar Park Hotel.

There's a relatively small but rocking selection of gay night clubs in Rio. The Copa is a combination restaurant, club, and tea house. Le Boy is an out and out massive club swimming with beautiful people and the even celebrities. We're all about both of those things.

Architecture buffs can run around the city and check out both ancient and modern buildings. Frommers has a doable list. And of course there's that giant statue of Jesus overlooking the city that Janet Jackson climbs on top of in her "Runaway" music video. It's supposed to be famous or something.

Peak season (as well as the fabulous Carnaval) are fast approaching. For more info on Rio click here.