• Rufus Wainwright misses his drug-fueled wild days, but isn't about to hop on (or is it off?) the drug wagon. Don't worry, though, he's not going to become one of those perpetually chipper sober sisters. He's got enough misery to last a lifetime. Or, at least, a new album.

• Theresa Sparks' has quite a tale, even for San Francisco. The post-op transgendered woman started out in waste management, patented two recycling techniques, decided to become a woman, lost her family, lost her fortune, drove a cab, took over a sex toy company, made back her fortune and has now been elected President of the city's Police Department. Some crazy shit...

• Rome's "Family Day" targets gays, unwed mothers, miscellaneous sinners.

CONTINUED »

One group of fags will be missing out on Kathy Griffin's patented brand of naughty humor: the gay cell block at Los Angeles County jail. The spunky comedienne offered her snarky services to Sheriff Lee Baca, but apparently he wouldn't have it.

First of all, Baca had never heard of the red-headed performer. Then, once he'd familiarized himself with her bit, he turned her away. Her act, it seems, would only bring shame to the prison. Spokesman Steve Whitmore explained:

Sheriff did not think it would fit into the core values of the jail... The sheriff wants to eliminate the locker-room mentality and to bring out a sense of integrity and dignity when it comes to language and conduct in the jail. He didn’t think that her act would be appropriate at this time.

Baca may have snubbed Griffin, but prison officials at Perryville, Arizona, have welcomed her with open arms. She tells the New York Observer that she plans on entertaining her hetero audience with some jokes about gang rape. Now that's dignity.

• While some "subjects" of Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days – where he takes a person ignorant of a certain way of life and immerses him in it for a month – have "relapsed," straight conservative youth minister Ryan Hickmott has not. After spending 30 days in San Francisco with a gay couple, he's still living his life under the notion that we're all equals. [Knoxville News Sentinel]

• Documentation of Kathy Griffin's lesbian past — and far too many words devoted to a love-hate relationship with her. [Pretty Scary]

• If you're a comic geek, then we'll probably find you this weekend in San Diego at Comic Con — and not giving a crap what Hollywood's trades have to say. [HWT]

• If Gayle King and Oprah aren't lesbian lovers, then surely the daytime queen won't mind if her BFF takes someone else along to see Madonna. [Towleroad]

• Chocolate.com relaunches. Please don't think less of us when you walk in the room and we're licking our screens. [Chocolate.com]

• In commemmorating last year's hangings of two Iranian teens for being gay, the Washington Post runs afoul of the very rules of media coverage it criticizes. [Washington Blade]

• The finale of My Life On The D-List brings together one gay icon with another as Kathy Griffin joins Johnny Weir on the ice. [Malcontent]

• Following a court order, Missouri removed from its books a regulation automatically banning gay men and women from becoming foster parents. [AP]

• You've got till tomorrow to nominate a friend – or, more likely, yourself – for Cosmo's Media Men contest. [Cosmo]

• Latvia's gay pride celebrations have been banned, just as they were last year. Except last year a court overturned the decision and the gays marched on. Will it be the same this year? [SMH]

• Boston's WRKO radio station suspened talk show host John DePetro yesterday after he called the Turnpike Authority chairman a "fag." Though most news media aren't printing the actual word. [Boston Globe]

• Rape survivors are always the victims of unfortunate circumstances, but in this case, the cirumstances are somehow even more devastating: A woman was raped by a gay man who wanted to prove he could have sex with a woman. [Aust. News Limited]

• The Born Different campaign is getting a huge PR push, but so far we've yet to see anything more than a couple viral video clips and recycled stats. [Born Different]

Do you want to see Dangerous Muse perform next week at the Gay Games? Then make sure you enter our contest for a free pair of tickets! More info here.

• Losing your hair? God still loves you. Perhaps even more than your full-headed friends. [Slate]

• Kathy Griffin may love her gays, but only if they're willing to meet her quote. [Page Six]

• A Connecticut judge rules gay couples haven't been disadvantged by the state's deciison to allow civil unions instead of full marriage. [AP]

• A line of grooming products inspired by America's freeways would, under normal circumstances, scare us away. [UrbanDaddy]

Copy/Paste this code to post on your blog!

We've been going on partial reports since last week, when Kathy Griffin's taped Larry King Live appearance got bumped from CNN by the North Korea missile incident. As diehard fans of her comedy and her reality show, we've been as eager as you to know the truth about (among other things) her divorce. How much did Matthew Moline's bank account stealing account for their problems? Was their reconciliation staged? See for yourself.

After the jump, another clip, courtesy big brother Jossip, that you'll also be interested in seeing: Wherein Larry King acts as the pimp between Griffin and none other than Anderson Cooper.

CONTINUED »

When the Emmy nominations arrived yesterday – among the obvious nods to Family Guy, The Simpsons, and Grey's Anatomy – there came two shocks. First was Kathy Griffin's nomination for My Life On The D-List for Outstanding Reality Program. And second? Recognition of South Park's Tom Cruise-centered episode "Trapped in the Closet" for Outstanding Animated Program (for Programming Less Than One Hour). Having been on the receiving end of Scientology's prowess for things like this, we understand the uphill challenge Trey Parker and Matt Stone faced when taking a dump on Cruise's celebrity. So while we won't be paying too much attention to whether HBO's Rome wins for best score, we will be holding out hope both Kathy and the South Park boys get a chance to hold their statute in front of a room full of their peers and .. do stand up.

58th Primetime Emmy Awards

In less than thirty seconds of airtime on the Today show this morning, Kathy Griffin managed to hit home on the two most relevant arguments against Conservative dummy Ann Coulter, who appeared earlier in the show to defend her statement on the 9/11 widows that "I've never seen people enjoying their husband's death so much."

Griffin first wondered why Coulter was wearing a cocktail dress at 7am, and then asked Al Roker to agree that Coulter makes up her material, to which he guffawed uncomfortably and did his best to change the subject.

We will do our best to shed some light on Ms. Griffin's first question though, and the answer is, undoubtedly: Ann Coulter likes to show as much skin as possible to distract viewers from her hideous horse face. Case closed.

Follow the links for videos of both interviews.

Nugget o' televised fun: Griffin on Coulter on 'Today' [Good As You]
Coulter on 9/11 Widows: ‘I Have Never Seen People Enjoying their Husbands’ Death So Much’ [Think Progress]

If your Golden Globes viewing experience seemed a bit empty you have one man and one man only to blame: Ryan Seacrest. Sure you still had the incoherent, drunken Joan to watch, but you know, deep down, you longed for the original Claymate herself, Kathy Griffin. So who really got our dear Kathy off the red carpet?

Hot Stuff has learned that Ryan Seacrest, 31, got comic Kathy Griffin, 44, axed from her hosting gig on E! Says a source, "Kathy has been awful to him" in her stand-up act, so when Seacrest finalized a new deal with the network (worth $21 million over three years), he made sure Griffin got the boot. Her red-carpet replacement? Seacrest, natch!

Even though we know you’re secretly one of us (a Kathy Griffin fan! What did you think we meant?), you’re now on our shit list, Mr. Highlights. But don’t worry about us, we’re peaceful people. Griffin, on the other hand, will probably beat the crap out of you next time she runs into you at the tanning salon.

In all seriousness, this will only supply her with an entire episode’s worth of material for the next season of My Life on the D-list. We can’t wait.

Seacrest Says, Griffin Out! [Us Magazine]

• Drag queen muse, Elvira, is having a moving sale and you can bet Queerty will be there rummaging through boxes and boxes of over-sized wigs and stringy black gowns. [Defamer]

• South African gay men are protesting the country's ban preventing them from donating blood - by lying and doing it anyway. [BBC]

• Gay Brits are taking a break from their marrying long enough to screen Brokeback Mountain, making it the number one movie in the UK, and thereby officialy making it an international sensation. [Time Out]

• Renee Zellweger forgives loved ones who commit fraud pretty easily. She and her ex Kenney Chesney were out shopping together. For sandwiches, not shoes. [Yahoo]

• Richard Hatch might be "the world’s worst bookkeeper" but he is most certainly the "world's worst nude bookkeeper." [Boston Herald]

• Bravo (whose programming continues to compete with Logo and here! TV) has blessed us with a second season of Kathy Griffin's My Life on the D-list. Let's hope we get a reunion with Griffin and her adorable husband, Matt. [Zap2it]

• We think that secretly Gene Shalit loved Brokeback Mountain and we think he'll secretly love this poster just as much. (Thanks Matthew)

• Howard Stern has always supported the gays. Well, at least the lesbians. He's now given out actor George Takei an announcer gig on his new Sirius show. Maybe now we can hear the Star Trek thespian enunciate more than just the phrase "wet hot bitches." [Philly Burbs]

• Phantom of the Opera becomes the longest running musical in Broadway history, thanks mostly to all of us faithful gays. [Reuters]

• Kathy Griffin won't back down to anyone, even Hollywood God Steven Spielberg. This is why she is our queen. [NY Post]

• Camera whore Lisa Gastineau most likely crashes lesbian bars for the attention and not because she's earnestly searching for fish. [Gawker]

• Brits have awarded Tom Cruise with the title of "most irritating" star. No word on if they find him to be the gayest star as well. [The Guardian]

• Now playing in LA is the lesbian musical The Breakup Notebook. Melissa Etheridge isn’t the only dyke with a great set of pipes. [The Breakup Notebook Official Site]

• Ryan Seacrest may have replaced Kathy Griffin as queen of the red carpet, but at least we’ll get another season of her Bravo reality show. [Reality TV World]

• Illinois has become one of the few states in the nation to have laws on the books prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation. That’s 15 states down and 35 more to go. [CBS 2 Chicago]

• Texas' first statewide GLBT magazine is no more. RIP TXT Magazine. [Dallas Voice]