Sanjaya Malakar may be one of the most puzzling cultural icons in recent memory. Why did so many people vote for someone everyone agreed blew? Where does a 17-year old kid get the gumption to sport a pony-hawk? What does his contradictory success mean for the "merit" of American Idol? (And, yes, the show does have merit, evidenced most readily by Jennifer Hudson and Kelly Clarkson.) In Gayville, our terrain, many have speculated about whether the young "singer" qualifies as queer. Such Idol speculation's nothing new - just look at Clay Aiken and lawsuit plagued Mario Vazquez.

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The Foley days are back again!

It's been a while since we last heard from Mark Foley, the Congressman whose less-than-tasteful email exchanges with teenage boys fueled the scandal that cost him his job, helped cost the GOP the election and may now cost Foley his freedom.

The Federal Bureau of Investigations (aka the FBI) has launched a criminal probe into the aforementioned electronic dialogues between Foley and a number of underage boys. Previously they had taken a look at the risque records to determine the severity of Foley's actions. Apparently they didn't like what they found. The Washington Post reports:

"It was a preliminary inquiry before, but we found the basis to open up a criminal investigation," Kristen Perezluha, a spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, said Thursday. She would not elaborate.

The FBI is investigating whether Foley broke federal laws, and the House ethics committee is looking into whether senior GOP officials hid what they knew about the instant messages.

Like any other federal investigation, officials will be having heart-to-hearts with Foley's friends, family and acquaintances. We wonder if Lane Hudson - the former HRCer whose fake blog first posted the now classic, incriminating email - will be called forward. The Feds will undoubtedly like to know how he got a hold of the email that started it all.

If ever there were a time for Foley to hide away in rehab, it's now. Unfortunately, the homo-pols father died Tuesday after a long battle with cancer. Thus, Foley's back in West Palm Beach. Though he's been keeping a low-profile, he has been spotted outside his long-time lover Dr. Layne Nisenbaum. Nisenbaum, the dermatologist-cum-fagalite, and Foley have apparently been lovers for nearly twenty years. Hopefully this whole public shaming thing won't ruin the thing they've got going.

Also, if Foley has to defend his actions, we can't help but wonder how he'll frame his defense. He's already used the two biggies: he's a drunk and a priest touched his penis. What else is there? Maybe he can say he's got multiple-personalities. Or, better yet: he's been infected with some sort of evil cosmic entity he got while fighting Galactus in space. The only way to stop it will be to let him go scott free, sending him to an island populated solely by 16-year old hotties and a Kelly Clarkson CD. You know Foley loves him some Kelly Clarkson (but only because Clay Aiken won't fuck him).

This oh-so-unsettling picture accompanies a New York Times article on how Mark Foley ain't nothing but a low-down liar.

Taken at a Washington Grammy's party, Foley looks more deranged than ever. His eyes are all glazed and that smirk stinks of misdeed. Given the look on Kelly Clarkson's face, we imagine he's just stuck his finger in her ass. If that's the case, we feel bad for the girl. Still she's got to know that if she were a boy, it would have been much, much worse. Meanwhile, Louis Gossett Jr. looks like he's trying to ignore the entire thing, just like Dennis Hasturd.

What I wouldn’t give to be one of Kathy Griffin’s gays.

Joel Stein of The Los Angeles Times infiltrates Griffin and her gang of “gays” who she gets together with each week to participate in one of Queerty’s favorite activities: watching trashy reality TV. And the sassy ladies know how to party; they’ve all attended Backstreet Boys concerts, Janice Dickinson’s new one-woman show (a commentator’s dream) and also arrange cool scavenger hunts for Shannon Elizabeth’s birthday with the most ball-busting mission ever:

“The biggest argument of the meeting splits the group in two: Kelly Clarkson is performing in Las Vegas the same weekend as the annual Shannon Elizabeth scavenger hunt, which they organize with the Showgirls actress for her birthday. The winner is the first one to find Elizabeth's career.”

Stein proves how unworthy he is of basking in Griffin’s queenness by confusing Showgirls star Elizabeth Berkeley with the far less entertaining Elizabeth. How so very hetero of him.

A true gay would never make such a terrible mistake. Kathy, call me.