Attending the Oscars looks like the most boring thing in cinematic history. All that clapping, all that sitting, all those snooze worthy acceptance speeches for even more snooze-worthy categories (sound mixing?). If we're ever invited, we'll have to politely decline and see if we can worm our way into Elton John's Oscar viewing party.

Not only would our attendance help The Elton John AIDS Foundation, but we'd get to chill with the biggest hodge-podge of stars this side of the red carpet. Where else can you find Victoria Beckham and Kelly Osbourne mugging for the camera? No where. Well, maybe heaven. Or is it hell? We can't tell anymore.

See some more shots, after the jump...

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She may not have named names, but a tearful Kelly Osbourne got tongues wagging last night when she told attendants of London's Body & Soul HIV fundraiser that a member of her family family has HIV. this is london reports:

Introducing a performance by the Scissor Sisters, she said the cause was special to her because a member of her family had been diagnosed with HIV.

Photographers present at last night's concert reported that Osbourne sobbed before leaving the stage.

The family couldn't be reached for contact. It's anyone's guess as to who may have the HIV, although we assume it's an uncle or a cousin. We have a feeling that if it were one of the core brood, we'd have heard by now.

In other totally inane gossip, chanteuse Amy Winehouse's made a few enemies over the weekend after London's G-A-Y club (it's gay). Not only did she make her fag fans wait until 1:45 in the am, but she only performed for ten minutes before tottering to the side of the stage for a little puke. It seems the famed drunkard had been on an all day bender with allegedly reformed booze-hound Kelly Osborne. Surprisingly, her stomach couldn't take the pressure and needed a little relief.

A backstage source tells UK's Daily Mirror:

Everyone knew something was up as soon as soon as she arrived smelling of booze and quite unsteady on her feet. She was also as white as a sheet and began retching before even going on stage. Once she was up there, however, it was an excruciating performance and she barely got through the first number... She was quite tearful and emotional afterwards although she was so tipsy you could barely understand what she was saying. Eventually she said she couldn't go back on and kept saying sorry over and over again.

The gays, apparently, booed and demanded their money back. We can't help but wonder what they expected from a woman who sings about loving the hooch and refusing to go to rehab? You're begging for a stumbling husk of a performer. Although, there is a certain amount of professionalism in being a professional fuck-up. Shit, if Pete Doherty can screech through a song with a needle in his arm, one would hope Winehouse could keep things under control. Or, at least, keep things down...

• While Elton and David honeymoon in Venice, World of Wonder has some great photos of the wedding guests. Yes, dear, everyday is Halloween. And who is that drag queen? And, no, we’re not talking about Kelly. [WOW Report]

• Cyndi Lauper is headed for Broadway and set to star in The Threepenny Opera, the play about thieves and prostitutes. It’s our kind of show. [Yahoo News]

• Josh Rubin has hand selected Cool Hunting’s top posts of the year, which we imagine was a very hard thing to do. [Cool Hunting]

• Proof that Leandro Becker is our favorite DJ. Who cares that we’ve never heard him spin. [Made In Brazil]

• Michael Musto’s Felix Awards are the only 2005 round up you need to read. Forget the others and go now. [Village Voice]

•Arjan has a link to Andy Bell's new video for the first single "Crazy" from his debut solo album. The video is in fact not low budget. It was shot by Al and Al, a British art duo whose work just looks cheap.

•America's Next Top Model debuts tonight. We have our money on 21 year old New York student Kim. She reminds us that the cutest boys in San Francisco are the lesbians.

•A sign that perhaps Madge is in for two flops in a row: she and Guy are booed in London.

•Apple, Best Buy, Nike, Kraft, and Pepsi are among 101 corporations with perfect scores on "gay"-friendliness, according to a new ranking by the HRC.

•Kelly Osbourne loves to hang out in gay bars. Of course she does. All drag queens trapped in fag hag bodies do.

•What bloggers look like.

We rushed to Bryant Park on Friday with our photographer Randy and arrived late for the Heatherette show. Upon noticing the world's first blog star approaching, security whisked us in backstage. We ran to make it to our seats, but the show had started already. It looked like we had to remain backstage the entire show. Which is not a bad thing when surrounded by Amanda Lepore, Brandywine, Naomi Campbell, Kelly Osbourne, JC Chasez, Lizzie Grubman, Lydia Hearst, Nicky Hilton, Michael Lucas, Patrick McMullan, Tinsley Mortimer, and Zach Augustine. Richie and Traver's show was a hit. And yes, Naomi does look that good up close.

More exclusive pics after the jump.

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