It seems the fagalicious filmmaker's got a man crush on Britney Spears' ex, Kevin Federline. Purveyors of fine bullshit news, Star Magazine definitely report that John Waters reportedly told Canadian mag, McClean's:

I'm a big fan of K-Fed...That's who I want to marry! What did he do that was so wrong? She's the idiot. She's the one who gave him the Ferrari. And he looks good whether he's all cleaned up or long-haired and sleazy.

He went so low as to actually buy Fed's album. At least Waters got the taste to keep it sealed. He tells, McLean's, "I consider it a prized possession; I haven't even taken it out of the wrapper." Good thing, too, considering its DOA status.

• Mark Foley firestarter Lane Hudson just started a blog and he's already pissing people off, namely Elizabeth Dole. [News for The Left]

• The Committee on Jewish Law and Standards had vote to allow gay commitment ceremonies, but uphold ban on gay sex. (Oy!) [365 Gay]

• Meanwhile, back in the homeland, Knesset's gearing up to block the Israeli Supreme Court's ruling on gay nups. [Ynet News]

• Did Pete Doherty play a role in a young actor's death? More importantly, does this mean Kate Moss will finally come to her senses? [Music Rooms]

• The gays love Jennifer Hudson, but does Jennifer Hudson loves the gays? It's all in how you read it. So, read it... [Dallas Voice]

• Some closing words from Kevin Federline: ""I am a family man and that is me, that is the truth, that is in all honesty." Genuinely. [Star]

• You know you love David Byrne, so why not prove it to him by seeing his light/sound installation at Pace/MacGill in NYC. It's only up for four more days, so it's basically now or never. If you don't go, he'll cry. [Pace/MacGill]

• The Power Issue subject Adrian L. Acosta may be the hardest working man in show business. Or, at least, the hardest working man we know: his merry musical buddies, No Subordination, just posted their demo on MySpace. [MySpace]

• A man claims that Golan "I Didn't Fuck Jim McGreevey" Cipel checked him out at the Reebok Sports Club in Amsterdam. How can he prove it? Well, he can't, but we believe him anyway. [Gawker]

• Gael Garcia Bernal loves the homos. How much? Well, he's just joined the fight for gay-nups in Mexico City, where conservatives are trying to strike down a new law allowing same-sex marriage. Oh, and some less famous/attractive people joined the movement, too. [International Herald Tribute]

• 39.5 million people are currently living with HIV. Needless to say, that's a pretty hefty - and upsetting - number. While the rates continue to rise, there is some good news: more people have access to necessary medicines. Of course, there could always be more. [Canada.com]

• Here's some proof God exists: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have both denied the existence of a sex-tape. While we don't believe them, we sure are glad we won't be tempted to watch them make a baby (and you know they did). [Mollygood]

• We can only imagine how many Buckeye heads are spinning: Ohio-based Miami University has agreed to keep same-sex benefits for employees. [Cincinnati Enquirer]

• Who's funny, Jewish and lesbianic? Well, lots of people, but in this case we mean Judy Gold. And, you know what? She's yucking it up over at AfterEllen. [AfterEllen]

We've just received the universe-shattering report that after two-years and as many babies, Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. Journalistic wunderkinds Star Magazine report:

Britney Spears filed a petition for divorce from Kevin Federline on Tuesday, Nov. 7 in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the day after she appeared on David Letterman sporting a hot new hairstyle and a killer new bod.

To commemorate Spears-Federline union, here's a clip from happier times. We say happier because watching a stoned Spears talk about her sore jaw makes us happy.

We've still got to wait for the results of today's monumental elections, but we've got another oh-so important ruling: the outcome of the Britney Spears sex tape slander suit. (Yeah, we were on the edge of our seats, too)

For those of you who don't know/care: Spears sued tab-rag US Weekly for running a story about an allegedly missing explicit tape she made with hub-rag, Kevin Federline. The pop-tart, who hasn't made an album in years, tried to get $10 million from the magazine, but has been thwarted by a judge's dismissal. Our favorite conservative newspaper, The Daily Mail, reports:

A judge ruled that Spears could not complain about a published story about the alleged raunchy tape because she had exploited her sexuality to earn huge amounts of money.

How does the judge want her to make her money now if not by suing magazines? It doesn't seem like the girl has another album in her, and she absolutely cannot get an actual job. That would be humiliating. That evil judge has just taken food from the mouths of babes. Vile! Hideous! "Outrageous"!

(PS: We love that Brit-montage from Celebguru. We want to plaster it all over our bathroom for inspiration.)

Speaking of things that aren't really news...

We hate taking pleasure in other people's personal failings (okay, that's a lie, but whatever...), but we can help but laugh at news that ticket sales for Kevin Federline's tour have been so dismal that two shows have already been cancelled.

That bellwhether of journalistic integrity, Star Magazine, reports:

With the release date of Kevin Federline’s debut CD “Playing With Fire” just a day away — on-sale date is Oct. 31 — comes word that TWO of his tour dates have been cancelled, and another date is reportedly in jeopardy of being cancelled.

Kevin’s Nov. 9 gig at House of Blues in Cleveland has been cancelled...Plus, Kevin’s Nov. 10 gig at the House of Blues in Atlantic City has been cancelled...

[Further] The New York Post reports that Kevin’s Nov. 4 gig at NYC’s Webster Hall is in jeopardy of being yanked. The Post reports, “Our spies at Webster Hall say that so few $20 tickets have been sold…that ‘we may just cancel it.’”

Poor K-Fed, does this mean he'll have to go back to being a celebrity sponge?

(As a side-note: Wesbter Hall was once the venue of choice for HX Media's Gay Erotic Expo. You know, the expo at which Owen Hawk and his crew won't be apppearing...)

• Multi-Church service will contain no gay bashing, thank you. No, not even a light smack... [The Royal Gazette]

• The UN is none to pleased with Cameroon's treatment of gays. You know what that means...well, really not that much. [365 Gay]

• The Advocate takes a long, hard look at straight men flaunting it for gay men. Oh yes, a long, hard look... [The Advocate]

• Lithuanian Parliament thinks gay materials may corrupt minors. It sure as hell corrupted us... Gay NZ]

• Gay Republican insists, "Mark Foley doesn't represent me." No, really, he doesn't: I'm from Minnesota, he's from Florida... [Donklephant]

• If K-Fed can fill up Webster Hall, we'll sell our second child. We're far too attached to the first, but the second? Not so much. [Gawker]

HBO has fallen off in recent years: first "Sex and The City" ended it's run, then "The Sopranos" descended into unbearable madness, and now this. Everyone's favorite shit rag parasite Kevin Federline has reportedly signed on for three episodes of "Entourage" to play a....well, shit rag parasite.

The ability to laugh at oneself is an admirable trait, but we're sure K-Fed's not laughing. He probably considers himself one of the greatest entertainers of our day. Too bad he's just a glorified sperm bank. If only we could go back in time and save Britney Spears.

• Some shoes are worth killing for. [Copyranter]

• Gay Oklahoman Michael Cich's military service gets sacked before it could ever begin. [Towleroad]

• To get California's State Assembly to approve a bill allowing same-sex partners to file joint income tax returns, first the Democrats and Republicans had to reduce themselves to name calling and accustations of furthering the gay agenda. [SF Chronicle]

• Inside the gay blogging realm is the black gay blogging realm. Keith Boykin explains its influence. [Advocate]

• Joan Rivers preaches: Comedy "isn't a profession, it's an obsession." [Contra Costa Times]

• Kevin Federline claims to have aced his GED. [MollyGood]

• Goodbye, Pluto. [AP]

• It wasn't his new best friend Jake Gyllenhaal that drew criticism when Lance Armstrong arrived at the Tour De France. Rather, it was his comments during the ESPY Awards, where he joked, "All their players [France] tested positive. . .for being assholes." French newspaper France Soir fired back with the headline "Welcome to France trouduc" — a "gentle translation of "asshole." [ABC, PITNB]

• The latest – and certainly greatest – way to satiate your late night munchies is the same means you use to find your friends at the Roxy. [Jossip]

• Jake Shears & Co. wind up on the cover of Interview, looking as fashion forward as their music. [Interview]

• If you've ever wondered how the paparazzi gets its shots of celebs, this primer might answer some questions. [How Stuff Works]

• Madonna's rumored to be falling in line with every marriage savior: a new baby! [Digital Spy]

• When K-Fed closes the show at next month's Teen Choice Awards, he promises to wow ya. But the real shock is that he's bringing wife Britney as his date. And she'll be wearing a dress (we assume). And shoes (we hope). [MollyGood]

• In typical fashion, Slate hopes to generate a modicum of buzz by defending M. Night. Shyamalan. [Slate]

• The rumors surrounding Lance Bass' sexuality are certain to never die down now that he's been taped leaving a club with reality hottie Reichen Lehmkuhl (see above video clip). And a car full of beards. Watch the clip. [X17]

• Just in time for Gay Pride in New York, Kevin Federline takes over the town to drum up publicity for .. well, we're not sure what, exactly. [MollyGood]

• X-Men's Ian McKellan takes Hollywood to task – once again – for its notion that gay actors should keep their sexuality to themselves. Because if who you slept with had anything to do with talent, how do you explain Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain? (Jake Gyllenhaal's rumors stand for themselves.) [PR Inside]

• Britney Spears' manny Perry Taylor has been nominated for a U.S. Veterans Award. Not for saving Sean Preston from falling to the cement ground, but for taking his naval training and applying it to something worthwhile. Like guarding America's former sweetheart. [Business Wire]

• More on Britney: She's lauding husband Kevin Federline for finally finding a job. Given that he doesn't have a record deal yet (just an album), he's signed on to become the face of clothing label Blue Marlin. [Page Six]

• Oh, so you saw a blubbering Britney Spears on Dateline last night, too? If not, the clip reel is already here. [The Malcontent]

• Take two of our favorite people and put them together in front of the camera — that's all it takes to make us simple folks happy. You too? Then you'll be pleased to hear Anderson Cooper has snagged the first U.S. interview with Angelina Jolie. [Jossip]

• Backstage with Rufus Wainwright means plenty of plastic surgery, over-tweezed eyebrows, and hotties in Rufus tees. Oh, the main act was there, too. [Timmy Ray]