Senator Larry Craig's not the only way denying a little butt action. It seems cyclist Lance Armstrong and actor (?) Matthew Matthew McConaughey have had enough of people thinking they're in gay love.

The New York Daily News reports:

Speculation that the Tour de France champ and the actor might be more than friends started last summer, when they were photographed together (with shirts on and off) shortly after McConaughey split with Penelope Cruz and Armstrong broke up with Sheryl Crow.

Asked in November's Details about the gay rumors, McConaughey deadpans: "We tried it. Wasn't for us."

Armstrong obviously finds the gossip less amusing. "We all have buds, we all take guy trips, but you take something very normal and put it in a magazine and people start talking," he says. "It's like, either you sleep with everything that moves or you're gay."

Whatever, maybe if you guys had other friends, people wouldn't think you're sucking one another off. Although, it's certainly an easy way to keep your names in the press.

• Happy gays are here again! [The Desert Sun]

• Lance Armstrong uses Paris Hilton as beard. Rash Likely. [NY Post]

• Attorney General candidate Sean Patrick Maloney's a pretty politician, too bad he's doomed. [New York Magazine]

• We have three words for you: gay, Jewish, revolutionary. Sweet. [Sydney Star Observer]

• Firefighters reprimanded for not passing flyers to flamers. [Pink News UK]

It's noon-ish. It's almost the weekend. Let us help you get through it.

• YouTube finds a way to make some cash off those 100 million video views: advertising. And what better way to kick things off than with Paris Hilton. [AdAge]

• Lance, Jake, and Matthew get their dues in Details' Anthropology column. [TMZ]

• One million podcast downloads later, Feast Of Fools podcast co-hosts take home an Emmy. [After Elton]

• Straight-to-DVD queer series Christopher Street comes alive, at least online. But hey, there's a trailer for you to check out. [Christopher Street]

• Matt Lauer .. hot? [TMZ]

• Seventy-three girls in South Africa are selected to be educated through the Oprah way. [Jossip]

• Shopping + Social networking = ThisNext. [ThisNext]

It's either an explanation for why Lance, Jake, and Matthew are spending so much time together — or the perfect Hollywood cover-up of our wildest fantasies. From today's Gatecrasher column:

Cycling legend Lance Armstrong has privately confirmed speculation that Jake Gyllenhaal will portray him in a biopic.

He told sources at ESPN that Matthew McConaughey had been up to play the part, but lost out to Gyllenhaal.

"He said that's why he has been spending so much time with them both this summer," said the source.

This confirms last month's news that first announced Jake and Lance were getting together for the project. What else does it confirm? A gay box office draw.

Gyllenhaal's along for the ride [Gatecrasher]

Finally, an rational explanation (read: not one that exists entirely in your X-rated fantasies) for why Jake Gyllenhaal is spending so much time with Lance Armstrong: the Jarhead plans on playing him in a still-secret biopic. That's what LA Weekly's Nikki Finke is reporting — with Jake's recent cycling part of his training for the flic, and his and Lance's heading to the Tour De France all part of Jake's research.

As a huge TdF fan myself, I think a Lance bio-pic is a natural: why did it take Hollywood so long to put one together? Given Armstrong's unhappy youth, his sports prowess (first as a triathlete and then as a cyclist), his cancer battle, his Live Strong yellow wristband campaign and his cancer foundation work, his epic seven TdF titles, his rivalry with cocky Jan Ullrich and upstart Ivan Basso, his love-hate relationship with the French, and his battle against doping accusations, it's a heckuva tale. And the studio as well as Lance are fortunate that an Oscar nominee like Gyllenhaal wants to do it.

And after the ribbing Armstrong gave Gyllenhaal at the ESPYs, Jake certainly deserves to cash in on Lance's life story.

EXCLUSIVE: Jake Gyllenhaal Wants To Play Lance Armstrong in Sony Bio-Pic [Deadline Hollywood]

• It wasn't his new best friend Jake Gyllenhaal that drew criticism when Lance Armstrong arrived at the Tour De France. Rather, it was his comments during the ESPY Awards, where he joked, "All their players [France] tested positive. . .for being assholes." French newspaper France Soir fired back with the headline "Welcome to France trouduc" — a "gentle translation of "asshole." [ABC, PITNB]

• The latest – and certainly greatest – way to satiate your late night munchies is the same means you use to find your friends at the Roxy. [Jossip]

• Jake Shears & Co. wind up on the cover of Interview, looking as fashion forward as their music. [Interview]

• If you've ever wondered how the paparazzi gets its shots of celebs, this primer might answer some questions. [How Stuff Works]

• Madonna's rumored to be falling in line with every marriage savior: a new baby! [Digital Spy]

• When K-Fed closes the show at next month's Teen Choice Awards, he promises to wow ya. But the real shock is that he's bringing wife Britney as his date. And she'll be wearing a dress (we assume). And shoes (we hope). [MollyGood]

• In typical fashion, Slate hopes to generate a modicum of buzz by defending M. Night. Shyamalan. [Slate]

• Lance Armstrong's hosting of the ESPY Awards gave him carte blanche to harp on his two new BFFs Jake Gyllenhaal and Matthew McConaughey.

• When it comes to Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the radio might be a good place to start. [Spero]

• If you must masturbate to porn in the office, at least do it properly. [Best Gay Blogs]

• Congress' attempt to pass a bill banning same sex marriage fails 47 votes short of the two-thirds majority required, joining the Senate's efforts in the wastebin. [AP]

• If you're a cancer doc who identifies the wrong location of the malignant cells, your malpractice insurance better cover more than just negligence — but ruining your patient's sex life as well. [365Gay]

• Hopefully your coming out experience went better than this Tawainese fellow, whose parents drugged his coffee and dragged him to a psych ward after he told them he was gay. [Taiwan Headlines]

All week long, new best friends Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong, and Matthew McConaughey have been spotted in matching spandex. Sure, McConaughey might be hurting his workouts by binge drinking, but riding alongside Jake is a good way for Lance to forget ex-fiance Sheryl Crow is telling all to Vanity Fair. Bending down in front of Jake, meanwhile, is a good way to get our attention. There's more if you're willing to click.

[Read On ...]