The New York Daily News ran this bit earlier in the week about Dwayne Buckle, a Manhattan filmmaker who made the mistake of telling a lesbian he could "fuck her straight." Gay or straight, you can probably guess what happened next...

We've got all the details after the jump...

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Mark Howard Hicks has been sentenced to 40 years in prison for the 2005 killing his wife, Crystal Marie Hicks. The Visalia, California man apparently suspected Crystal of having an affair of the lesbianic variety. And as any irrational, senseless man would do, he casually walked into their shared living room, raised a gun and shot her in the head as their children roamed about another part of the house.

Before handing out the maximum sentence, Judge Gerald Sevier referred to Hicks' actions as a "cold, calculated killing." No doubt the jury had no trouble reaching a verdict, for moments after taking Crystal's life, Hicks called 911 and said, “I shot my wife ... because she was having an affair with another woman.” He may be a killer, but he's nothing if not honest. Although, we're sure his lawyer doesn't agree.

Hicks gets 40 years to life for murdering his wife [Porterville Recorder]

Jealousy can make people do crazy things. Throwing a drink, perhaps? Or even a well-placed bitch slap, sure. Hacking someone up with a chainsaw, burning the body and scattering the remains across two states... Um, well, that's a little over-the-top, but that's exactly what a jury says 43-year old Daphne Wright did to her ex-lover's best-friend, Darlene VanderGiesen.

The lesbianic trio all met in a deaf support group. Though things started off on the right foot, the dissolution of Wright's relationship seemed to send her over the edge. Poor VanderGiesen never could have known her friendship with Wright's ex-lover would lead to her grisly February 1, 2006 murder. A jury heard how Wright allegedly kidnapped VanderGiesen, killed her, used a chainsaw to cut her apart, burned the bits and then stashed the remains in Sioux Falls, ND and Minnesota. Wright maintained her innocence and her lawyers claimed the prosecution used the dismemberment aspect to paint Wright as a total psycho when, in fact, she's a kitten.

The jury didn't buy it and found her guilty of premeditated murder first degree murder and kidnapping. Now they must decide whether or not Wright should meet her maker. We're not down with the death penalty, but we have to wag a finger at Wright. Okay, all fingers - she is deaf, after all.

Speaking of her aural deficit, does anyone else find it ironic that she used a chainsaw - one of the loudest machines on the planet - to get rid of the evidence? Bitch has balls. She may not have been able to hear it, but she should have worried someone else would. Maybe she's not that bright. One thing's for sure: she's fucking nutty.

Woman guilty of chainsaw murder, faces death [CNN]

Fundamentalism ain't new in the Middle East. Or, anywhere for that matter. Zealots reign on all sides of religious chasms, splintering off into their own wings and sub-wings. And, as fundamentalists, these fools think homosexuality's fundamentally wrong. It comes as no surprise, then, that the Islamic Council in Israel has raised its voice against an upcoming conference organized by a Palestinian lesbian group, Aswat.

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Esquire has again ventured into the world of faggotry to offer its three readers the so-called "Field Guide to Gay Animals". Among the critter chronicle, which includes flamingos, koalas and, yes, penguins, homo-spotters will also find the japanese macaque: an adorable monkey known for both its lesbianic tendencies and sexual ingenuity:

Female macaques form short-term exclusive relationships known as consortships with other females. They groom each other, defend their partners against other animals, and regularly mount one another. These ladies have been observed having sex in at least seven different positions.

Hmm, sounds like they can teach those Sapphic Saudis a thing or two, no? And us, too...

Lesbian lovers! Lost embryos! Broken promises! This story has it all.

A dykey duo have filed a $3 million lawsuit after New York's Repro Lab lost the embyros meant for Cathy Berger's waiting womb. She and her partner, Adriana Pacheco, both donated eggs to the clinic and hoped to start a homo family. Now, however, they're dreams have gone cold, if you will. The women's lawyer, Susan Dennehy, blasted the clinic, saying: "Repro Lab should have dealt with the embryos with the greatest of care. It's a sacred trust."

It really doesn't seem that hard to keep track of an embryo or two. You just stick them in the fridge and that's that. Not surprisingly, Repro Lab refused to comment on their brain's infertility.

Beth Ditto of The Gossip may be our biggest girl crush - and we're not talking about her weight. The Arkansas-born lead singer's not only a super star musician, but she's a fierce advocate for queer rights and makes no secret of her love for a trans man. Of course, the other gossipers - guitarist Brace Paine and drummer Hannah Blilie - seem prety radical, as well. Those haircuts, those clothes, that talent! Work it, girls.

To celebrate our lesbianic love for these rockers, here's the video for "Listen Up" from last year's Standing in the Way of Control. If you've seen if before...well, you should just watch it again. At the very least, it will help you kill four minutes and 18 seconds. And, really, isn't that the name of the game?

The lesbian hits just keep on coming. We may have scoffed at Melissa Etheridge's big win, but we're not fucking around when we say we're in love with lady loving songstress, Kaki King.

We have to be honest, we'd never heard of the Atlanta-born, 25-year old guitarist until a reader Alex sent is the link to this video for her single, "Yellowcake" from last years ...Until We Felt Red, but we're already head over heels. Give it a listen, head over to her website and let us know what you think.

Watching the Oscar red carpet madness gives us such a headache. We can't keep track of who's who, what they're doing there and why we should care.

The kids over at E! were certainly no help - not only did they not seem to know the answers to those pressing questions, they didn't seem to give two shits. The complete and utter stupidity of Ryan Seacrest, Giuliana Depandi and homo extraordinaire Jay Manuel from America's Next Top Model was only eclipsed by former The View co-host Debbie Manopoulos. When asked how she stays so thin, she said "I don't eat". The duo over at ABC weren't any better and Joan and Melissa Rivers on TV Guide really couldn't hold our attention.

As hard as it may be to believe, the only person we could focus on in the celebrity cluster fuck was Sally Kirkland. Coincidentally enough, her reality defying, rabbi designed dress seems to be made from the rainbow flag. Thus, she's our Oscar patron saint.

So, round of applause for Ms. Kirkland. Crazy's never looked so good. Or so disturbing.

See some more red carpet shots, after the jump...

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• Suze Orman's a lesbian. Big shit. [Gawker]

• Britney Spears knows what's good for you. [BWE]

• Gay attack victim Andrew Anthos has slipped into a coma. It's not looking good. [Detroit News]

• Being gay = being retarded. [Pam's House Blend]

• Illinois state representative Greg Harris wants gay marriage [Chicago Tribune]

• A Massachusetts judge threw out the federal case of the "brain-washing", gay-friendly book, saying: "In essence under the Constitution public schools are entitled to teach anything that is reasonably related to the goals of preparing students to become engaged and productive citizens in our democracy." The incensed parents can still take the case to state courts. Something to look forward to, huh? [Guardian]

Our memory must be failing, because we forgot to mention the New York Daily News' rundown on NJ gay "marriage". Good thing those gay loving Gawkers posted on it earlier today, pointing out that a particularly queer couple, Christopher Dean & Keith Denick, have perpetuated years of stereotypes by singing their vows and vowing to have a "fabulous" reception. Despite the fag's best efforts to have the gayest wedding in town, the article's lesbian subjects, Elena Cardona & Liz Quinones, seem to have out-fagged them. The article describes their musical selections:

Elena will walk down the aisle to Bette Midler's "Wind Beneath My Wings." "I cry every time I hear it because the words are so touching," says Liz. The first dance is to Shania Twain's "From This Moment." Elena's Mother and Daughter dance is to Celine Dion's "Because You Love Me."

Sure, the tracks may be a bit dated, but they're certainly gay classic. If we didn't know better, we'd say the ladies do it in the what what.

Did you know that lesbians love Belinda Carlisle? We didn't - although it makes perfect sense. Carlisle did start her career as a teenager punker turned popster, singing about her sealed vagina with cutie peers, The Go-Gos. We can only imagine what their spandexed crotches did the labia loving ladies. Good things, we're sure.

Anyway, the thought didn't cross our mind until a reader sent us a link to Jenny Stewart's very lesbian interview with Ms. Carlisle. A sappho-journo through and through, Stewart gets all up in the girl-on-girl gossip. After Carlisle gushes over all her die hard dyke defenders and admits a crush on Debbie Harry, she gets a little deeper with these "shocking" revelations:

BC: ...You know something? Believe me -- I've been there and I've done it all. Let's just put it that way.

JS: Wait a minute. What do you mean by that?

BC: Well, without going into too much detail...I think all of us in the band, we've all had...we've all seen the experience you are probably wondering about. And, yeah, like I said, without going into too much detail, we've all been there and done that.

JS: Geez, Belinda.

BC: Well, it's true. And you know, my son is always online and stuff like that, so without going into too much detail...yeah.

Huh? Are we supposed to know what that means? Because we don't. Maybe they're speaking some secret lezzie language or something, because we just see a flimsy hint at a sexual past. "...Been there done that"? Done what? Did you muff dive? Finger some chick? Wear a strap on and fuck the shit out of some boi? We demand answers!

Unfortunately, Carlisle can't hear us through these textual rants, so maybe you guys should just go over, read the interview and draw your own conclusions. Also, while you're getting all worked up over Ms. C, why not relive Jack E. Jett's sit down with the chanteuse? It's better than a warm vagina on a winter morn'. Well, for us, at least...