• It was all about the Good Times last night at the eastern bloc-housed, Chris Bell-spun, Queerty-loved, Svdeka-soaked weekly party. Check out some pictures over at Twerking and plan your pose for next week. Same gay place. Same gay Good Times.

• Keith Olbermann names voter/gay scandal-ridden political, North Carolina Representative Patrick McHenry "worst person in the world".

• Trans activists in Massachusetts are pushing for a bill to lift their 100% natural rights. (Get it?)

• Fred Phelps and his rootin' tootin' Westboro Baptists are gearing up to protest Reverend Jerry Falwell's funeral. From GodhatesAmerica.com:

WBC will preach at the memorial service of the corpulent false prophet Jerry Falwell, who spent his entire life prophesying lies and false doctrines like 'God loves everyone'.

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• The 911 call that's sure to be a classic.

• Keith Boykin on Bobby Brown's anti-gay tirade, sexual panic and hate crime legislation.

• Which Republican presidential candidate will shed the most publicist-endorsed tears for Jerry Falwell's death?

• Some gay San Franciscans won't be shedding any tears for Jerry Falwell. They're planning an anti-memorial. Whoa. That's a. unnecessary and b. makes gay people look like jerks.

• California high school student Johnny Vera has our undying respect. This ballsy fucker's not only transgender in high school, but he had the confidence to run for prom queen! And won! You work that shit, girl. You work that shit... (PS: We have to include the picture. Trannie prom queens forever!)

CONTINUED »

The world's most stylish fashionistas, singers, actors and hangers-on made their way to The Metropolitan Museum of Art last night for the Costume Institute's Gala. This year the institute honored the late, great French designer Paul Poiret. Poiret's stunning designs drew on both Oriental and art deco aesthetic, but constantly revolved around his favorite flower: the rose.

Our invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, so we had to live vicariously through press images. Shame, because we would have loved to pick Tom Ford and French Vogue editor Carine Roitfeld's respective brains. Oh well, there's always next year.

Take a look at some more shots, after the jump...

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• John Roberts - the same man who brought us Jackie & Debra - has done it again. Send this one along to your mom. Especially if you're not out yet. It'll help her work through it...

• Ivan Marrow, the gay businessman who alleges Zurich Life ruined his business, may love being gay, but he wishes he were born straight.

• Ex-Idol on Sanjaya Malakar on I Love New York 2? Or does TMZ just think all Indian people look alike?

• Can the church save Jamaica's homos? According to American lesbian Reverend Nancy Wilson, yes: "We have strong allies in heterosexual church leaders here, but sometimes they are afraid to speak out for fear of being criticized by others, and so I met with many of them this week and say you have to come out and tell the others that they don't speak for all of you."

• Hey, wanna see pictures of Lindsay Lohan snorting coke? Look no further.

• Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty vetoed the state's domestic partnership bill. Outfront Minnesota executive director Ann DeGroot ain't happy: "This veto is not good government. It’s the state telling local governments what they can and cannot do. We thought the governor supported local control. The governor has chosen to make a political point over good public policy." No wonder Pawlenty is GOP presidential candidate John McCain's election committee co-chair.

• Advertisers are now one step closer to taking over the entire world. Next stop: your dreams.

• A right-wing nut named Jim Rutz job claims soy makes people gay. Hmmm, we're not sure about that, but we are sure he's an asshole. [WorldNetDaily]

• Some Israeli feminists are protesting a lesbian strip show. One protester says, "Women who do his for a living are not in a situation in which they can decide for themselves whether they should strip or go to law school". Because no one in the history of the world has ever done both. Ever. [Ynet News]

• Scientists are working on a gel that releases retrovirals when exposed to semen. This so-called "molecular condom" may be able to protect against HIV. Um, we think we'll use a good old fashioned rubber, thanks. [Scientific America]

• Mark Simpson's "sporno" has been named one off 2006's ideas of the year by The New York Times. First "metrosexual," now "sporno" - Simpson's gonna have an entire fucking dictionary when he's done with it all. [Mark Simpson]

• A religious watch-dog group has accused top-ranking army officials of proselytizing recruits with Evangelical doctrine. Um, duh. [Yahoo! News]

• Lindsay Lohan's been sober for a week. Yeah, that's about all you need to know. [Star Magazine]

Britney Spears may be joining Rosie O'Donnell and the gang on their patented Philadelphia vacaction.

Well, not really, but O'Donnell made clear that she'd rather have the clit-showing pop-star living with her and Kelli than hanging out with those wild ubangis, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.

On yesterday's view, O'Donnell implored Britney, "I'd like to invite Britney to live with me and Kelli and the kids." Harnessing years of investigative journalism, Babs Walters asked what may be the most important question of the year: "Are you gonna get her to wear underwear?"

After distorting her face into what can only be described as a look of erotic horror, O'Donnell cries, "I want to beg Victoria Secret to supply these three women with an unlimited amount of underwear. Victoria, I'm begging you, they need to be kept a secret down there." Then Rosie can put on her mystery solving gloves and crack the case of the young - yet severely overused - vagina.

There's no glamour in the tabloids. We have the same dozen stars in the same dozen positions, particularly one's that don't look very good in pictures. Just today The New York Post, everyone's favorite conservative tab-news rag, featured a picture of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan with a caption "Bimbo Summit". None of the women look particularly glamorous, nor do they invoke envy, sympathy or wonder.

If photographer Ron Galella had his way, we'd never have to look at another grotesque display of celebrity debauchery again. Sure, his pictures of the disco era captured enough debauchery to kill the Pope, but there's more to his work than deliciously excessive partying.

CONTINUED »

• Jody Watley loves the gays so much that she sang a little diddy at the White Party. Unfortunately, the majority of attendants were far too fucked up to remember the words to "Looking for a New Love". They confused it with Huey Lewis' "I Want A New Drug." Simple mistake, really. [virtual matter]

• Mitt Romney may live in Massachusetts, but he's giving the majority of his political dough to other GOP groups. Needless to say, the Massachusetts Republican party ain't pleased. See, Mitt? Just because you hate homos, doesn't mean the party will love you. [Boston Herald]

• South Africa's National Council of Provinces votes on gay marriage tomorrow. Considering they only have a few days before a court-ordered deadline, it'll probably pass. Then Thabo Mbeki can sign it and South Africa's constitution will continue its reign as the most progressive constitution in the world. Yay! [365 Gay]

• Lindsay Lohan claims Paris Hilton hit her without just cause. She goes on to say, "I'm sorry for everyone who thinks I’m crazy but I’m just trying to act." We're sorry we have no choice but to think you're crazy, Lilo. Seriously, we really are... [dlisted]

• With an article on Zac Posen president Barry Miguel, his real estate agent boyfriend, David Strah, and their adopted children, The New York Times proves that gays are better parents than straights. Or, at least, dress their kids in cooler duds. [NY Times]

In the wake of legendary director Robert Altman's death, Lindsay Lohan's released what can only be described as a coke-fueled condolence gone horribly awry. This is just a taste:

[Altman] left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So every day when you wake up.

Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

We could go on about the utter absurdity of the statement, but we don't want to insult your intelligence. We'll leave that to Lohan.

• Baltimore football players don't mind that The Wire's Omar sucks dick. Why? Because he's tough and carries a gun. Duh. [ESPN]

• The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network wants to teach a Pittsburgh school official a lesson for using the word "faggot": they want his job. [GLSEN]

• A 47-year old Atlanta medical resident remains in custody after failing to disclose his HIV-positive status to a 16-year old partner. Something tells us he won't become chief-of-staff. [Southern Voice]

• There's another NSFW blog on the scene. [Kick It With The Boys]

• We don't think Lindsay Lohan tried to kill herself. We think she was just cutting lines on her wrist. [Daily Mail]

• Amidst all the controversy, Carol Channing's penned a letter to Japhy Grant. You can tell it's her because it makes very little sense. [The Modern Romantic]

• Elliot Blackstone, the first copper to work with the LGBT community, has died. Even we can't think of a joke... [San Francisco Chronicle]

• Being a male prostitute will be the hardest thing Mike Tyson's ever had to do. And that includes his stint as a rapist. [Starpulse]

• JC Report gets all up in Australian fashion's under parts. (Boobies free of charge!) [JC Report]

• Now that he's taken down Ted Haggard, Mike Jones simply will not hook. He does, however, need money. Badly. [Joe. My. God.]

• Lindsay Lohan's gone and lost her mind. (No, seriously, she looks crazy in this GQ pics.) [Mollygood]

• Apparently Leslie Jordan and Delta Burke are a little too risque for a Nashville show. Now that's conservative. [TMZ]

• We know Hollywood and its denizens are a strange crew, but can someone please explain to us why Jennifer Lopez is at Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's wedding? [Reuters]

• Wal-Mart's selling a girl with a chapter entitled, "My First Time Fucking a Girl". Obviously family values groups aren't pleased. (Lesbianism's never seemed less sexy. [LifeSiteNews]

We were just visiting our celeb-obsessed sister over at Mollygood and found this video. Apparently, Lindsay Lohan can't make up her mind about Paris Hilton. She's either a cunt or they're friends. It's all so confusing that it causes instant amnesia.