After two years of homo-lovin', Alan Cumming and his American boyfriend Grant Shaffer are making honest men of one another. Mark Malkin from E!'s Planet Gossip reports that the two did the dedicatory deed this weekend in London.

The British city, however, can't claim status as Cumming's first choice: in a November interview with attitude magazine, Cumming discussed possible wedding plans, saying:

I think if we could get married in America we totally would have by now. I'd have my friends Andrew and Sue as bridesmaids and also Cyndi Lauper and maybe Liza. But then maybe she's had enough of gay weddings by now... especially after her own!

It's worth noting that we offered to give Cumming away, but he declined, citing the fact that we're not homies and that, in fact, he wouldn't invite us to the wedding, anyway. (And he didn't. He did, however, invite Rufus Wainwright and actress Mary-Elizabeth Mastrantonio.)

Don't think married life's going to slow Cumming down: his latest directorial offering, Suffering Man's Charity starring (surprise!) Cumming, Anne Heche and David Boreanaz, debuts at March's Austin-based South by Southwest Film Festival. He's also starring in the forthcoming fag-coaches-rugby team tale, Coming Out with Catherine Zeta-Jones. For his part, illustrator Shaffer's been hard at work on the storyboard for Mike Nichols' Charlie Wilson's War, starring Amy Adams. If you want to take a closer look at his work, check out his website. His other work includes Madonna's Bedtime Story and the comic book, Thirty Types of Passion (we love those nerdy types).

Mazel to the tov, gents. May you be together forever. Or, until the end of time. Whichever comes first.

After surveying over 1600 gay men and black heterosexuals living with HIV, London researchers have found that gay men of all races are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior. Why the racial dimension? Because blacks and gays account for the majority of new infections, although it seems UK gays may end up pulling out ahead:

Of the gay male respondents living with HIV, nearly 40% reported unprotected sex in the previous 3 months; 14% only with HIV concordant partners. One in five gay men living with HIV (20%) reported unprotected anal intercourse with an untested partner or a partner of a discordant HIV status, presenting a risk of HIV transmission. By comparison, one in 20 (5%) black African heterosexual men and women with HIV reported unprotected vaginal intercourse that presented a risk of HIV transmission.

We love those British boys. The thought of them getting all sickly like and dropping off makes us frown. And when we frown, we get wrinkles, then we age prematurely, get sad about that and frown some more. If you keep this up, our face'll be looser than a meth-mad hooker's asshole. So, please, for the sake our youthful good looks, wear a fucking condom. Oh, sorry, bloody condom.

(This goes for all y'all, homo or no.)

While we're on the subject of things we love, let's turn our attention to Danish duo Junior Senior.

We remember the first time we heard them: we were in London on the eve of the war in Iraq. Needless to say we weren't sleeping, but needed a distraction from, you know, all the destruction. We flipped on over to MTV and saw the video for their monster single, "Move Your Feet" from their debut album, D-D-Don't Stop The Beat.

While there's still no escape from news of the war, it's been a while since we've heard from J.S. (Jesper Mortensen and Jeppe Laursen, respectively - Laursen's the gay one). There'd been a murmur of a new album, but no official release. That's because the album, Hey Hey My My Yo Yo was only distributed in Japan and certain parts of Europe. Thanks to the magic of YouTube, however, we found this video for a single off that elusive album, "Take My Time." And now we're passing it on to you.

We've never actually been to London, but we always hear about the G-A-Y night at the Astoria because they score some of our favorite performers, including Madonna, Christina Aguilera, and Kylie Minogue. It seems that G-A-Y, and the venue that houses it, the Astoria, are London institutions, and now the property has been sold, and the new owner wants to tear down the venue to build shops and offices.

Buildings with cultural value always seem to take the back seat to commerce, but this building has a special place in the heart of gay Londoners, and so a group of them started the "Save the Astoria" petition. We invite you to sign so that future gay music icons will have a place in London to go and preach to the choir.

Save the Astoria Petition [Official Site]
Petition launched to save gay club [Pink News]
G-A-Y [Official Site]

After having six successful Masturbate-A-Thons in the U.S., sexologists Dr Carol Queen and Dr Robert Lawrence are bringing the party to London, where participants will learn and celebrate the art of self-love in a safe and fun environment.

The Masturbate-A-Thon is a "public education device to increase the use of self pleasure as a strategy for safer sex and to de-stigmatise self-love," and the proceeds will benefit the British sexual health charity Terrence Higgins Trust.

ID lube is one of the principal sponsors of the event, so you can be sure it will be a slippery good time.

Masturbate-A-Thon [Official Site]
Gays and straights masturbate for charity [PinkNews]

Call it bad luck, but the British media always seems to find George Michael in the most compromising positions. The last we heard was during that embarassing "falling asleep steering wheel incident" back in May, and now he's been caught (and more unflattering photos have been taken) in Hampstead Heath, a notorious London cruising spot, as he emerged from the bushes.

Long-term partner Kenny Goss is unphased by the incident, though we suspect George might be sleeping on the couch for a while.

GEORGE'S SEX SHAME [News of the World]
GEORGE MICHAEL'S LOVER: 'I STICK BY HIM' [Mirror]

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Sir Ian McKellan and Mayor Ken Livingstone joined the crowds during London's gay pride parade (the last and biggest stop of EuroPride 2006) — but we know you're more interested in seeing the floats, the signs, and of course, the mens. While this year's attendance of 40,000 didn't meant organizers' expections of 500,000 – a huge number expected because the event didn't conflict with the World Cup; last year's coincidided with the Live 8 concert but still drew 250,000 – the event has been labeled a success: no major brawls between the crowds and police, and protestors were all but ignored.

Gay Pride comes to London [Reuters]

• The man who murdered prominent Jamaican gay rights leader Brian Williamson has pleaded guilty, but the police refuse to call it a hate crime, saying it was a "robbery gone wrong." We are unsure why a robber would bother stabbing someone 70 times in the neck if they didn't have another agenda. [365 Gay]

• Mary Cheney supports gay marriage! Who knew? [ABC]

• Cuba gets its own Queer As Folk, except there is only one queer and he's not shown kissing or touching his partner. But they talk about it, and that's enough to offend some Havana residents. [BBC]

• A gay London police officer may run for mayor, but only if asked. How polite of him. [Pink News]

• Nine men are being held in a Cameroon jail for being gay. The government refuses to release them despite international protest. [UK Gay News]

British grocery store worker Caroline Gardener became an instant hero a while back when she chucked a sack of flour at a motormouthed customer’s head. What would warrant such behavior? We can think of several things but in this instance an irate customer angrily called Ms. Gardener a “filthy dyke” after she informed him the store was out of lime cordial.

She told the tribunal: “I didn’t go for his throat, I just went for his collar because he had really upset me. When he called me a filthy dyke I had a pack of flour in my hand and, although I regret it now, I threw it at the back of his head. He then turned round and said, ‘You are a dyke and you’re going to get the sack’.”

The store fired Ms. Gardener, but this week a labor board ruled that the customer was abusive and that she must either be rehired or paid a settlement. Apparently, the irate customer failed to learn life lesson number one, which is never piss off a lesbian with a sack of flour in hand. Trust us, we know from experience.

Lesbian was unfairly sacked for throwing flour at a customer [The Times of London]

• The musical The Gay Life has been renamed The High Life and is being revived in NYC. The word “gay” apparently means something entirely different now then it did when the play originally appeared in 1961. Loving show tunes however means the same thing: you are a big, nelly, homo.

• London’s founder of the gay alternative scene has died. Simon Hobart was responsible for Popstarz, Ghetto, and Trash Palace.

• The HRC’s "Tom, the Token Gay Friend" ads are very gay. And as Rob Thurman points outs “gay (as in jolly, handsome and attractive) rather than gay (as in judgmental, humorlessly and sour).”

• The NO/AIDS Walk was cancelled due to Hurricane Katrina this year. The NO/AIDS Task Force is now doing a Virtual Walk, with all the fun of fundraising without the sweat and blisters. Help them out if you can.

• Gay characters are emerging on film as cops, athletes, and cowboys. And no, it’s not a film about the Village People.