Our favorite fabulously fictitious internet alter egos are back to give you the scooper on a totally real, reality based - and even fabulous - event. (And, yes, we know we're out of our minds. We blame Andrew Sullivan.)

Ttlykewl: Hey there.

BrdNYC: Hi. I'm in Los Angeles visiting my family.

Ttlykewl: Snoozefest. You should do something exciting.

BrdNYC: Like what? I've already picked my butt right good.

Related: Pretty Things: David LaChapelle

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Just weeks after the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center unveiled its controversial "HIV is a Gay Disease" campaign, San Francisco's Department of Health's raising eyebrows with its "serosorting" advertising initiative.

In an article for the Bay Area Reporter, Zak Szymanski (on whom, we must admit, we have a total gender-bending crush), writes that serosorting's "a longtime gay community practice where men have a variety of sex, some of it unprotected, with men of the same HIV status." In an effort to encourage more gays to disclose their HIV status, the Department of Health's posting adverts featuring the psychedelic photography of Duane Cramer (pictured).

Szymanski writes:

The colorful advertisements are a piece of a much larger DPH project known as the Disclosure Initiative, which involves prevention and care professionals and community members and aims to help men normalize HIV conversations and disclose their status.

Our campaign was really initiated to help people make better informed decisions. It's really empowering, and sex positive, and really about arming ourselves with more knowledge.

When we heard about the LA Gay and Lesbian Community Center's new "HIV is a Gay Disease" ad campaign, we couldn't help but think about the faux-Rent scene from Team America. Do you remember, or have you killed too many brain cells to recall the puppet's running around singing about how they all have AIDS?

In an effort to combat communal apathy to the disease, the center hopes their campaign will force gays to confront the disease head on, rather than head in - as in unprotected head in ass. Lorri L. Jean, whose role as the chief executive of the center puts her in the spotlight, says:

We believe that most people in our community do not understand the degree to which this epidemic continues to be in Los Angeles largely an epidemic among gay and bisexual men.

Sure, the majority of infected LA folk may be gay, but the far-reaching consequences of this campaign extend far beyond the hell mouth that is Los Angeles, and many gay activists insist the Center's over-stepped their bounds. 365 Gay reports:

"I applaud the desire to have more personal responsibility in the gay community, but this is not the way to achieve it,'' said Michael Weinstein, head of the Los Angeles-based AIDS Healthcare Foundation. "AIDS is not a gay disease. It's not an African American disease. It's not a Latino disease. It is a disease of the immune system."

We're not sure where we stand on this controversial marketing campaign. We're all about AIDS awareness - we'd be complete idiots not to be - but this whole thing seems a bit, oh, we don't know, tacky. We'd almost prefer "All Gays Have AIDS" or "See That Gay Person? They have AIDS and if you don't run for your life, you'll have it, too!" What's your take, opinionated and oh-so-thoughtful readers?

• Gay Man Turned Away from Fertility Clinic. Displeased. [365 Gay]

• W. Hollywood Apparently Lacking Faggotry. Woo. [The Los Angeles Times]

• Church Getting Anti-Gay Mail, Forwards to Hell. [Pink News UK]

• The "Truth" About Suri. Talk About Truthiness. [Gawker]

&bull Sacha Baron Cohen Makes Kazakhstan Cry. Working it Out. [Life Style Extra]

• Gay and Straight Couples Have Same Issues. Who knew? [After Elton]

Next week will see the launch of "Beefcake Babylon: The Iconography of Sword and Sandal Epics," a Los Angeles exhibit dedicated to the 1950s and 60s era of where bodybuilders were thrown into acting roles and minted as cultural icons. Perhaps the most famous was Steve Reeves, who played Zeus in 1958's Le Fatiche di Ercole — known to American audiences as Hercules. Along with Reeves, "Beefcake Babylon" will showcase movie posters, photographs, and memorabilia of other actors and films of the "peplum" film epoch. The selected images – "chosen ... for their eroticism and beauty from the most noteworthy films which deserve reappraisal in this overlooked genre – will be on display July 14th through Sept. 23. And the imagery? It'll last in our dreams at least that long.

Beefcake Babylon

(Looking for your art or cultural exhibit to get Queerty's readers attention? Tell us about it.)

Don’t mess with gay teens these days. As the LA Times reports, gay teens are using the court system in the state of California to fight homophobia more than ever before. Let’s just hope the kids get to try their cases in front of a ‘family’ friendly judge. We suggest Judge Judy.

"It's a reflection of the students' desire to not just not be beat up, but to actually have full equality," said Carolyn Laub, executive director of the Gay Straight Alliance Network in San Francisco. "They want to be treated just the same" as their straight classmates.

And, like clockwork, the right-wingers have chimes in.

"They are being manipulated by the adults to push the gay agenda," said Richard Ackerman, president of the Pro-Family Law Center in Temecula. "My kids should be going [to school] to learn math, reading, writing. It shouldn't be an opportunity for someone else to … destroy the values I have worked so hard to instill in my children."

Yeah. The gay girl that sues the school so she can kiss her girlfriend is ‘being manipulated?” Sounds like she just wants the same rights to be cheesy and make out by the lockers as everyone else to us.

Gay Teens Are Using the System [LA Times]

Perez Hilton is at it again and Gawker is having none of it. Apparently, Hilton is getting a little too big for his blog britches and is beginning to alienate some of those who once held his site near and dear.

Now Perez’s site does have the readers. Read his comments section and draw your own conclusions about the quality of such a readership, but even though they’re many an idiot, there is a shitload of them. We gotta give the boy props for that.

So Gawker decided to call Mario out on his bullshit concerning this Playboy party. We don’t know if we agree with them 100%, but now that Perez has become the subject of his site, and not the real celebrities he once attacked, we don’t care to bother with it so much. His fashions though, they’re too offensive to not note.

Living in LA should allow him access to the world’s top stylists. So we’re at a loss that she continues to be photographed in these duds. Come on girl! You’re big time Perez: TV, radio, all your LA friends, your millions of fans. There is no excuse to wear those outfits.

You’re becoming a cartoon, the very person you once lampooned. Which, we guess, is sadly the idea.

Perez Hilton Makes Us Hate Ourselves [Gawker]

Gone are the days when two horny strangers enter a bathhouse, towels barely covering their cracks as they gratuitously flirt with one another, and quickly (and heatedly) hop into a private room (or not so private room) for some nasty hanky panky. Actually those days will never truly be gone. But the city of LA wants to change the way things (and in that matter men) are done in its bathhouses.

New sex club rules:

Large signs must be posted at entrances prohibiting unprotected sex on the premises.

Owners are prohibited from admitting anyone clearly under the influence of alcohol or illegal drugs.

County health officials will begin issuing permits in mid-February.

Bathhouses and sex clubs will be required to set up HIV testing and counseling for at least 20 hours a week by March 1.

A sex club that violates the new rules can be closed in a similar way an errant restaurant or tattoo parlor can.

Counselors at bathhuoses? Just what you need; someone to act like a parent, making us feel guilty for giving that closeted twink you just met a rim job in the locker room.

Then again, you don’t have anything to worry about since you’re practicing safe sex, right? Right.

Supervisors Finalize Stricter Regulation of Gay Bathhouses [LA Times]

• There is a God. And he is a fag. Need proof? Janice Dickinson has been given her own show. All of our prayers have been answered. [Yahoo News]

• Andy Towle won the Gridskipper award for best gay blog and rightfully so. We’re just delighted we weren’t last place. Woo Hoo! [Gridskipper]

• The Malcontent has compiled a list of bloggers and their New Year’s resolutions. Bradford and David are in the group. [The Malcontent]

• A warning to out LA readership: The LAPD is cracking down on gay cruising in West Hollywood. So next time you’re thinking of blowing that guy in a parking lot, ask if he’s a cop first. [LA Independent]

• Michael Stabile, friend of Queerty, wishes "more people involved in porn were clever.” He obviously has not seen Cirque Noir! [Village Voice]

• Tampons frighten the gay men we know. But women and men, Jew or not should get a kick out of this. Time to make the Tampon Menorah. Via Gawker. [Tampon Crafts]

• The Gays love the Wizard of Oz. They hate the Wizard of Oil. This is a funny read. [Dudehisattva]

• Gay.com selects Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero as its Person of the Year. Time to book a flight to Madrid to celebrate. [Gay.com]

• There is a transit strike in NYC. But it's not affecting the Queerty staff. We sit chained at our computer all day delivering the gay news for you, the readers. We don’t get out anyway. [Reuters]

• A bunch of pretty boy gays showed up at a pretty boy bar in pretty boy Los Angeles to fete a book about naked pretty boys. We still don’t get why it was on Gridskipper though. [Gridskipper]

• Toby will sleep well tonight. It appears that Brat Boy has lost. [Vividblurry]

• The Geography Club is being sent back to the University Place, Washington high school where it was banned. But it’ll remain geographically-challenged at the town’s middle school. [KIROTV]

• Will & Grace goes live again next month. Guess we’ll watch. We’re suckers for gimmicks. [Zap2it]

• The Czechs are nothing like their Latvian neighbors to the North. [Sovo]

• Brokeback Mountain expands today to, appropriately enough, 69 theaters. [Box Office Mojo]

• LA is ceasing Oral HIV testing due to false positives. One of their “biggest concerns is the public is going to lose confidence in HIV testing.” You know, sort of like the way we lost confidence in the LAPD. [LA Times]

• Someone please tell Dennis Hopper he only has two weeks to check out the James Dean Museum before it shuts down for good. [USA Today]

The week before her classic Christmas show comes back to NYC, drag legend Jackie Beat caught up with Bradford Shellhammer to talk about this year’s show, the drag queens she loves, and the one she absolutely hates.

So Jackie, what is in store for us this Christmas? What is the theme of the show?

Hmmm, I guess if there's any theme, other than "Gee, I sure would like to make TONS of money right about now!" it would have to be the usual warm and fuzzy stuff that seems to always come up around this time of year: binge drinking, illegal drug use, overeating, domestic violence. I'd like to think my annual holiday show is like a really hot but abusive bisexual Eastern European boyfriend. He's got that naturally beefy, moderately hairy body and works some super sexy blue-collar job like lifting things. He's gorgeous and the best sex you've ever had, but he slaps you around. You keep promising yourself you're not going back, but it's just too good so you put up with the abuse. Yeah, I think that describes my holiday show.

How is Hollywood treating you?

Great. I mean, what's not to love? The weather is beautiful, the boys are beautiful, and I’m beautiful! Well, if you stand back and squint. Now, turn your head a little. I'm just going to dim the lights a bit, okay? There! See? I'm beautiful! Seriously, having grown up in Arizona I feel more at home on the west coast. I have a huge 2 bedroom place with a big backyard and my two precious dogs and my Pontiac Grand Am and a closet that's bigger than my old New York apartment. Don't get me wrong, I adore NYC. But it's like heroin: It used to be my whole life, but now I've kicked my addiction to it and I only indulge occasionally and in moderation. You know, on special occasions like the American Idol finale or Columbus Day.

After the jump jackie tells how she lost all that weight and which drag queen she hates.

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